Are you OK?

As a black woman, I don’t think I’m asked that question enough. And not just asked, but asked with the purpose of being there if I actually answer honestly. As a black woman I have to be strong for everyone around me, including other black woman who choose to confide in me but who will be there for me? Who can I lean on, to do more than tell me to pray. Who do you turn to when you have no mother, and your dad doesn’t understand?

When is it acceptable to break all the way down? To have the responsibility be placed on everyone else equally? Sometimes I feel like I have to fend for myself, and If I want comfort I have to find it own my own. Thank God for counseling, but sometimes it isn’t enough. This human person who is hear listening to me has no  emotional connection to me, once the session is over, I’m right back to putting on that mask that I’ve learned to wear so well.

So Black Woman, Lets come together, ask your sister, friend, mother, aunt are they ok, and PLEASE be prepared to hear NO I’m not. Offer up more than a kind word about prayer, sometimes it’s great to listen and other times it good to offer up solutions and the way to know the difference of what’s needed is to ask, “What do you need from me? Or “How can I help?” I promise you, these small gestures of love make such a difference.

Tristan.

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