“You’re not the woman you think you are” -Devon
No! I’m even better!
Its funny how once you no longer care to cultivate a relationship between a man, he tries to disrespect you. However I have to give a fuck, and I don’t. When folks say, “Catch me while I care”, its not better way to describe me. I’m willing to put my time and attention into you while interested but once I see, the energy is not being distributed equally why would I continue with you? What do I look like willingly allowing you to waste my time?
I’m very willing to let a man lead, but why would I follow if you have no clue where you are going? If he wanted it, he would made it happen. Excuses are an insult to my intelligence, especially when you can afford to be honest.
Are men inviting women on first dates to hotel rooms now? Or is that just me? I kid you not, this man (boy) really invited me to be hugged up in a hotel room, watching netflix! Do I even look like I would go for that shit? Well I guess so, if he even presented that as an option. Now would my answer be different if it was a five star hotel, and he was offering spa services in addition to Netflix? Well probably not BUT I would first think it over before I declined. I’m wondering where do men find the balls to make such request when they’ve done nothing that would warrant a yes in response! Conversation doesn’t equal me, loosing my damn mind, and allowing you to get the panties! On who does this tactic work for?
I get it, the winter is definitely coming butI’ll be damn if I spend my fall/winter cuffing season with men who can barely muster enough brain cells to create an imagination. Nah homie, I’d rather be single. IF a warm body, is ever needed, it won’t be you!
A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of attending the pop up art show at AMFM gallery, remember? Well I semi documented my time at the event, but I left out a minor detail. I met someone, and actually gave him my real number; shocking I know. Although he’s not someone I would go for, I figured why not? I’m in a new city, and my ‘type’ could be whats holding me back from finding the love of my life. Lets call him, Tyrone. Tyrone is a few years younger than me but he’s educated, passionate about his beliefs, and OD hella funny. Like have me in tears, gotta pee funny.
I warned him about me being a flight attendant, that I really have poor time management plus I’m still trying to navigate around being a flight attendant, being away from home in a new city, etc etc etc. It seems like we are still able to interact over the phone, via text and voice calls. Sidenote: The first night we actually chitchatted on the phone, before we ended the call, he read me a poem. So y’all already know I was ready to marry the kid. I just thought that was such an original, dope thing to do, very out of the ordinary, and seemed genuine. Plus for the duration we talked, he would read me a poem before hanging up.
Fast forward to now, we no longer communicate. I’m a bit sad about that but I am not going to hound someone down to be there. It went left as the day we had planned to go on an ‘official’ date he kinda just left me on read, (iPhone). Earlier in the day we were to meet, a classmate flew in, and I gave her an impromptu tour of Chicago. I got back home with enough time to nap, shower and make it to our date, but I didn’t hear anything from him for the rest of the day. I even, double texted and called a few times but no response. And before you jump to take his defense, he’s alive and thriving. So the search continues, but I wanted to let you guys know, its amazing how open you can have a female just by being original.
Where are the single, black and attractive men in Chicago? I promise this isn’t shade, because we are all ugly to someone, but I’m looking for where the majority of Black single males hang out. I’m willing to be the single lady who goes out and does an investigation. Research is obviously needed, especially since I honestly can’t find where they are hiding. Do I need to make/take a trip to the hood? IF so, point me in the direction they might be. Is it bars? lounges? Sporting Events? Minus the club, I think I am willing to take one for the single female team, and go see where I can find a group.
Ladies, when I make contact I will ensure they bring their singles friends along. This is just the beginning, but I will not forget y’all when I find the ultimate secret land flowing with single black attractive men!
I’m a crybaby, always have been and will continue to be but I don’t normally get emotional at museums. Well, I wished someone would love told me to bring the tissues. Recently I traveled to Little Rock, Arkansas, first stop, Old State House Museum. Perhaps one day I’ll learn to research what’s on display BEFORE I visit but I’ll admit I’m lazy. However I think y’all know that already.
No secret, I love anything black people related. So I damn there bust out in the ugly cry for the A Piece of my Soul: Quilts by Black Arkansans exhibit. I remember being a young girl and snuggling up to the quilt that my grandmother, Theo Western, kept close. If I close my eyes and concentrate I can almost remember every single square. I’m embarrassed that I never inquired about each patch and the significance. My grandmother has since passed but I was able to find pride in her and this exhibit. Fun Fact: Quilts could weight as much as fifty pounds!
The museum has at minimum two hundred Quilts and proceeds to rotate the Quilts so all can be displayed. Yall know I’m super hyped to return. Growing up did you experience the magic of Quilts?
Ladies, I will continue being an advocate for doing whatever you want. For placing yourself first, because when you’re super sweet as pie, folks think they can treat you however they see fit. That notion no longer work for me. I am not here to cater to the male ego, why should I? Why should you? So y’all know I’m attempting to date. I’m open to other races, and ages, etc. I’m opened to dating folks who aren’t my usual go to per se. I’ve struggled with how to tell men I’m just not interested, but I would prefer a soft blow over anything else. So recently chatting with a man, who I wasn’t interested at all. I responded with pleasantries but why waste time, providing false hope when I have no interest. I laughed at the response. I mean how could I not? You’re not interested yet you went out of your way to gain my attention. I could’ve respected, him not responding, or even, a “Good Night” in return. We as women have been conditioned to support the male ego, let them down softly, try not to reject them, and if you do, put the blame on you. Nope! Although I will forever be respectful in my dealings, protecting your (fragile) Ego will never be my concern.
Low Key (High Key) I think I’m sabotaging my dating life by entertaining men who couldn’t possibly be good for me. Men who couldn’t give me half of what I am looking for, attracted to me, with the gift of gab, that’s who gets my attention. Ugh. Men who I know don’t deserve my attention, somehow captures it and when they eventually disappoint me, I’m hesitant to cut them off. Double Ugh. I’m sadden to know I’m bringing these horrid habits to a new city. Since I’m aware of the poor choices I am making, I am scaling back a bit from dating.
Don’t worry I’m still going to date but how about we try dating with purpose. Although I loathe writing a long list of what I am seeking in a guy, but maybe that’s exactly what I should be doing. I should have a clear understanding, but flexible, vision of what I’m looking for in an partner. God so help me, if I get carried away, and have a list of fifty thousand requirements. So to be sure I don’t get to carried away once I write down my ‘list’ I’ll post it. I know I know, scary right? And super super personal, but you guys are worth knowing all the intimate details of my life, since I already over share my shit.
FYI – Wish me Luck! XOXO