I was Sexually Assaulted at work, by a Coworker I was dating at the time.
My body was violated. My Space was violated. I was violated. I was asked by a friend if I was raped but that term didn’t feel right to me. So much so that I had to look up the definition of both terms.
Rape: Unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent—compare sexual assault, statutory rape.
Sexual Assault: Any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient. Falling under the definition of sexual assault are sexual activities as forced sexual intercourse, forcible sodomy, child molestation, incest, fondling, and attempted rape.
Sexual Assault was what I went through. Even though he was forcibly bear hugging me while holding my hands, and thumbing my throat, I still do not call it rape. He did not have my consent, I did not ask for his penis to be shoved inside of me but all the same I wanted it to be over. Perhaps I could’ve did more to fight him off me but again I just wanted it to be over. I don’t dwell on it, as I’ve made my peace with it. That filth will never have the opportunity to touch me again, he will never be granted permission into my World, no matter the role.
I’m not sure yet how this event has changed me but I know it has. Something like that has to change you in some way, I’m sure it will reveal itself to me down the road as of right now I’m going to focus on the beauty of the life I’m living.
If you have experienced someone violating your space, I’m not sure what advice to give. I did not report this to anyone of authority, I did not make a report but I didn’t because I was protecting myself. It may have been the wrong decision but it was one I was at peace with. I think you should do what feels right, whatever will bring YOU inner comfort or as close to it as you can come after dealing with type of event.
I’m seriously sorry you had to experience this. A part of me what to shake you and say “report it, report it to prevent him from doing this to someone else” but I also respect the reason why you did not.
Writing about it is already a step towards your in we peace and recovery and for that I am proud of you.
I put a lot of thought into what I wanted to do, in what felt right for me. A Part of me wanted to report it, but the majority of me didn’t. Thank you for responding. 💜