Adulting the Adult.

Out of shower thought, when you are an adult, people expect you to be an adult at all times, even with adults that are more adult than you. All that to say, no days off. Its like when I’m prepping for a flight and I’m the flight lead, I have to be ‘on’ at all times. There’s very little room for me to allow the perception to be anything other than what I need it to be. In those moments, yes, I create and hold the narrative. But when it comes to adulting, and navigating other adults its such a tricky thing cuz I know what I would do in that instant. However I cant navigate someone else. And here’s the issue at hand, so currently as I type, there’s some sort of discourse in my family. The why is unknown to me, but apparently I am ‘upset’ with an aunt. Although I haven’t chatted with ANYONE, and made this tidbit known, but today I received a phone call from my uncle, my aunts husband. Not in an aggressive manner, he wanted to get to the root of the problems, but its hard when the person in question doesn’t have one. As I’ve explained to him, I legitimately DO NOT BOTHER ANYONE! I stay in my little Chicago bubble, and play in my little bloogy blog. However I let my uncle get out all the things he wanted to say, without interruption.

Its just frustrating because as an adult when things arise, or I feel a way, I do my best to address it head-on BEFORE it has a chance to even get out of hand. I do not talk to folks in my family so If anyone should ever heard that I’ve said something the source should be questioned immediately. Uncle ended the call with my aunt would be calling sometime soon, but why not when she first felt or heard I had a problem? Once again I cant adult an adult, I can only allow folks to be themselves, and do whatever it is they would like to.

How’s your day going? Hopefully its a chill day for you!

Jonez.

Science & Industry

I absolutely love the museum of science & industry. Its legit one of my favorite spaces in Chicago! The first time I went I spent over four hours there, and could have spent my day there easily. Such a fun, science-y place, with something for EVERYONE to love. There’s a ‘Main Street’ with a cobble stone street, there’s an actual aircraft detailing most parts of the plane, with a few hands-on stations, there’s the body, there’s animals, there’s exhibits about the past and the future. There’s a huge train and rail, that goes through cities, mountains, the beach, shows Chicago on a grand scale, it’s all magnificent. I don’t fancy myself a science girl but being there makes you WANT to see all the parts of a clock. Weird I know. I went especially for Christmas all around the World, which is an annual event where you get to see Christmas trees decorated from different places, like Puerto Rico, Japan, Columbia, Kenya, and the list continues. This year my favorite was definitely Japan, I loved the attention to detail in the origami created, but India and Thailand was a close second.

If in Chicago, have you ever been before? Outside of Chicago, does your city does something similar for the holidays?

Tristan J.

Cosplay.

Do you ever cosplay as the elevated version of yourself? and obviously I mean within reason, or maybe not, I don’t knowBut seriously do you do things that the elevated version of you would do? Maybe I’m describing manifestation by another name? or daydreaming? Anyway, the elevated version of myself indulges in tea time at luxurious hotels, such as the Four Seasons, and the Langham here in Chicago, every season. Actually that’s how she/I kick(s) off the start of the season, with a customized tea time. And the theme differs depending on her/my vibe, but its always stylish, classic and timeless. All maybe this is all coming to the forefront of my mind because I want to do a tea. I love being fussy about what I’m going to wear, and dressing up, and just the whole ordeal of the event.

So do you ever?

Jonez.

Maybe IT is Me.

I’ve worked with a therapist to not internalize things but something triggering will happen and poof! I’m back to asking myself, well is it me? Am I the fucking problem? And I know in this most recent incident I’m not but still. Why am I never giving the benefit of the doubt? Why doesn’t anyone ever say, Nah she aint even on that type of time, and call and address whatever weird feelings THEY are currently having? After accessing earlier, I really do stay to my damn self, In my little Chicago Bubble. Why? Because its the safest place I’ve ever been. I can be my full self, without wondering what about me is going to annoy someone.

I do apologize for venting but I’m just in a weird space this evening. However I am not going to spend my time complaining. I’ve already took a shower, moisturized my body with my favorite body oil, and I’m in the bed. Already listening to wind chimes in a storm, lol.

Take Care of yourself. -Jonez.

to feel love/d

It’s such a treat when I find new (to me) music! But now track two has started playing and I know this song, just didn’t know who sang it OR it was on an album. I KNOW I have to do better. However did you know Luke James dropped ‘to feel love/d’ in January of 2020? AND was nominated for a Grammy for Best R&B Album? Well slap me silly cuz I had no clue! Granted 2020 was a year. Sidenote; It does suck for all the artist who dropped new music, because they were not able to market, promote or tour. Back to Wolf, as the title suggest, on first listen, this album makes you want to be loved, and appreciate what you have if you are loved. I actually don’t know If I can say I’m a fan of Luke James, musically, maybe a casual fan? Although he can sing beautifully. I AM a fan of his acting though, so there’s that.

So when you have a chance, please listen to this body of work, tell me your favorite song. Mine is Lambo, and Blow.

Jonez.

Thirty Ate

I know we JUST had a conversation about age, my age specifically, but its so wild to me. When I was younger and would do my calculations correlating the year with my would be age, I don’t even THINK I calculated up to 38. Like What?! Although I did freak out when turning 30, because I felt like I wasn’t where I wanted to be in Life, I hadn’t completed the things I wanted to, my life didn’t look like anything I’d imagine. Now I have the fortitude to be more graceful about my age. What’s funny, my Life doesn’t look ANYTHING like I thought the possibilities would be, its even better. Funnier, I used to live out of a suitcase, bouncing from place to place when I was younger, and in my early twenties, and now I get to do that for a living. Truly it really is wild how the Universe works.

But yeah, I’m just really excited about Thirty Ate. I haven’t even started to plan, but I think its going to be a ‘wing it’ type of birthday, and those are always the best.

Jonez.

S2 Finale

This is a spoiler but this show has been out for ten years, so I don’t think I’m spoiling much. However still Spoiler Alert.

Season Two finale of Being Mary Jane, David AND Lisa need they ass beat. Equally. Promptly. It was one thing for Lisa to feel slighted that MJ had dated David, possibly knowing Lisa had a crush but Its a WHOLE ‘NOTHER THING, for Lisa to give him head on ‘off’ times with Mary Jane. When she was saying it, my mouth was wide opened cuz babes, what are you doing? I’m still upset with her cuz you’ve been holding all of this in since college, and y’all are well into y’all thirties. And Its even worse for David, cuz sir, you are in a relationship with me. Intimate with me, even accepting of having a baby with me, but you’ve rocked with my friend? huh? Granted he definitely took advantage of Lisa, but maybe he was genuinely surprised she felt like this but why then hide it from Mary Jane? Sir, you knew you was in the wrong, if nothing else. Ohhhhhh weeeeeeee they could NEVER say anything to me, and for Lisa, my family took you in. So even if you was head over heels for David, you had the most to lose from this interaction being more than anything but friends. Cuz now my fam isn’t fucking with you, anymore.

Chile, with friends like these. Fuck em both.

Tristan Jonez.

2024

Happy New Year babes!

May this year be filled with an abundance of Love, Of Joy, and All the things that make you smile without hesitation. You are Loved! Thank you for rocking with me.

We’ll make this a year to remember.

Tristan Jonez.

thirty7

I’m not sure if I had this conversation with y’all, or not but everything is about age. I’m not sure what thirty7 feels like, but I feel it. I don’t know if I’m just aware of my age, more now than I’ve ever been, or If society is having a time pointing out, I’m not in my twenties anymore. I honestly cant place it. Maybe it could very well be because I am watching ‘Being Mary Jane’ and its brought up questions in my own life, looking at someone else’s. I’ve never been in the school of comparing, the life I live is my own, and I have no envy for others. Plus I’m always genuinely happy for others, outwardly happy.

I remember when I was younger, thinking about where I would be at different ages, and my life really is more than what I could’ve imagined for myself. But now that I’m this big age, now what? Do I just continue to have experiences? Continue to explore? To think that I am the driver of this vehicle that is transporting me to my dreams. Or my adventures. I am thankful I’m not in a career that climbing up the corporate ladder is encouraged, because I have no interest in that. I do agree that I do need some semblance of balance in my World, and I am working on it.

Jonez.

Solange’s ‘A seat at the Table’ has been in rotation lately. Such a well made body of work. Every song makes me feel a different something, but the feels are always there. Also, listening to ‘Seat at the table’ segues into Queen & Slim soundtrack, which is another top favorite, beautiful body of work.

I guess for today we’ll be in our Neo Soul R&B bag.

Tristan J.

The Rich Auntie

Recently my bestie sent me a meme that said something like ‘you grew up hearing stories about the aunt that traveled the world, and now you’re that aunt.’ And Ive been thinking about that all day, because I didn’t have a World traveling Auntie. My mother had two sisters, and I only interacted with one, and she was fly but she had a family so I don’t recall any traveling. In regards to my two godmothers, they didn’t travel much except for the occasional casino trip to Atlantic City, or Delaware. I also think during their generation, it was standard to have the long term job that you dedicated forty years. Sidenote, Its during these times I wish I could chat with my mother about her thoughts on travel. I don’t even know if she had a passport.

Being thirty7, I don’t think I will be having kids, and I’ve made peace with that decision, especially since my life would drastically change. It would have to! Traveling isn’t a replacement. Lets be clear, but it does make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. The feel of being able to immerse myself in a new place, or in an old place but with a different view, is one that I could never explain with words correctly.

Jonez.

Being MJ

I’m watching Being Mary Jane, and I have thoughts. Lots of thoughts but right now I’m focused on her and Andre, this married man. Although I do not condone cheating, cheating with a married man, is a different kind of horrid karma. When she didn’t know, that’s one thing, but now that you’ve made a decision to partake in this, unfortunately MJ deserves everything that will happen in the future. Also, how can you trust this man not to do the same thing to you? Granted his actually seem to be going thru with divorcing his wife, but at what point does he get tired of you, and want to see what else is out there? When your job is taking too much of your time? When he isn’t the one being put first?

While married man and Avery (his wife) was in therapy, he listed all these things that she’s responsible for, and didn’t feel like a priority, and I can understand. However its never crossed his mind, that Avery is responsible for everything, so when its time to be spontaneous, she doesn’t have any more of herself left to give. Ugh, he just gets on my damn nerves, truly. Now can she possibly give more, yes, But that will ONLY happen when the married man takes some things off her plate. I’m sure in marriage its a give and take, that balances everything.

I do hope Mary Jane really looks at this situation for what its worth, and leave him where he’s at … with his wife.

Jonez.