As I fly to my destination, my mind thinks about what life would look like if I didn’t miscarry when I was five months pregnant, I was twenty two. My daughter would be gearing up to turn eleven, as my due date was in November.
Melody Marie Washington. I’m not sure if I’ve ever revealed her name outside of telling my family. We named her Melody cuz she was the heartbeat, she was the song that brought joy to us, especially on the days where the two of us, my ex and I, wasn’t enough. Ultimately loosing her, may have been a blessing in disguise as I’ve gone on to do things I may not have done if I was a mother. As I get older, I still randomly think about her, how I would’ve been as a mom, and will I ever get the opportunity to become a parent.
However I do smile at the thought of knowing my mom, has a buddy in heaven with her, and she’s taking very good care of my Melody.
This is the only photo I have ever seen of my mother pregnant. Its surreal to know that I am in her stomach baking in this photo! It gets me a bit teary eyed too. Just thinking about all the hopes and dreams she probably had for her baby girl. All the plans she had made her in head for her daughters future. The future that she created in her heart for what she believed her daughter could accomplish.
I am a bit awe struck that my mother, with the help of my dad, was able to create this life. Like how amazing is it knowing that I would be born, a life perfected. That I would be born into and inside of absolute Love. If I am fortunate to become a parent, I promise to take all the photos I can! I’ll show them to my offspring, so they can have this sense of pride, that not only was they wanted, but they was made out of Love.
SideNote: Shout Out to my Aunt for sharing this photo with me. My older sister, and Older cousin is in the photo as well.