Almost a Mother.

Originally Written October 19, 2019.

As I fly to my destination, my mind thinks about what life would look like if I didn’t miscarry when I was five months pregnant, I was twenty two. My daughter would be gearing up to turn eleven, as my due date was in November. 

Melody Marie Washington. I’m not sure if I’ve ever revealed her name outside of telling my family. We named her Melody cuz she was the heartbeat, she was the song that brought joy to us, especially on the days where the two of us, my ex and I, wasn’t enough. Ultimately loosing her, may have been a blessing in disguise as I’ve gone on to do things I may not have done if I was a mother. As I get older, I still randomly think about her, how I would’ve been as a mom, and will I ever get the opportunity to become a parent. 

However I do smile at the thought of knowing my mom, has a buddy in heaven with her, and she’s taking very good care of my Melody. 

Jonez