Birthday Ali.

Dear Ali,

Happy Birthday King! Today you would’ve turned 35! Can you believe it? Thirteen years babe, you been away from me, and it feels almost like forever. I miss you. I miss you badly. You left me … and you promised me you never would. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I tried. I tried doing everything I could think of to help, to be there, to take the statements you was making serious. I tried. Lee, you still left me. I know you won’t believe me, but I’m not mad anymore. Only the occasional bouts of sadness, like today but I promise I am going to get all the tears out before I go to sleep…. then I’ll spend the rest of the day celebrating you. I keep your photo with me, its survived thirteen years, from NYC, to Baltimore, back to NYC, to Dallas and now to Chicago with me. In reality, you’re everywhere I am. Everywhere.

I thank you for sharing your light with me. For sharing your love. Your memory will forever live on with me Ali Sidney. I love you. I miss you. Happy Birthday Love.

I love you forever and ever, Always.


Care Less/Careless

Although I was not married at the time, I had an affair.

My partner and I was on the outs, arguments daily, and just in a state of unhappiness. We were nearing the end of our relationship but was still making an ‘effort’ to be together. We had put in time, and was trying to get back to the place where we was extremely happy with one another. Something just wasn’t clicking! I had booked a trip to Chicago, as I was secretly planning on moving there, and had two interviews scheduled. During my visit to the Windy City, I went to a local lounge, for grown folks, and meet an older gentleman. During the rest of my trip, we were together often. I returned back to Chicago three more times, to check out the scenery there and to get to know this gentleman better.

I was entertaining this gentleman while I knew I had a boyfriend back in New York. Although this was wrong I did not feel remorse for my actions. Even though I was not intimate with this gentleman, I would later find out that my beau was not being as faithful as he made me believe.

T. Jonez