Woman.

“You’re not the woman you think you are” -Devon

No! I’m even better!

Its funny how once you no longer care to cultivate a relationship between a man, he tries to disrespect you. However I have to give a fuck, and I don’t. When folks say, “Catch me while I care”, its not better way to describe me. I’m willing to put my time and attention into you while interested but once I see, the energy is not being distributed equally why would I continue with you? What do I look like willingly allowing you to waste my time?

I’m very willing to let a man lead, but why would I follow if you have no clue where you are going? If he wanted it, he would made it happen. Excuses are an insult to my intelligence, especially when you can afford to be honest.

Tristan Jonez

Luv U.

As much as we may want the very best for our friends. As much as we may want nothing but greatness for them, we cannot be willing to work harder for it than them. Trust, I know that shit sucks but you’ll kill yourself trying to obtain greatness on behalf of someone else. I’ll continue to be there for my friends, I’ll continue to be a listening ear if necessary but I will not longer shoulder their issues. I will no longer accept their problems as my own, looking for solutions and alternatives. No. I can’t. I’ve tasted the sweet taste of happiness, it’s taken me a while to get here but NOW, that I’m here I can’t let anyone threaten that peace.

To my friends, I love you. Sincerely. I want you to learn who you are, trust in yourself and know you deserve the very best from another human being. Trust that if s/he isn’t willing to offer their best, they aren’t willing to compromise to see you happy then Be prepared to move forward without them. Know that it’s healthy to be alone, and it’s necessary to carve time out to place yourself first.

Love yourself.

Tristan J {AKA} Tiffany, Your Friend.

AiseLife X Skoli

What a pleasure, to go from seeing Charles White (I’m Super Obsessed) at the Art Institute of Chicago, to seeing up & coming artists in the Chicago art and creative scene at AMFM Gallery. As all of you know, I’m a recent transplant in Chicago, so I had no real clue as to what to expect when I arrived at the venue. Some would say no expectations equals no disappointments, but I was pleasantly surrounded by an outward display of love. AiseLife’s art was captivating, I throughly enjoyed being transported back to the “rink”. Just looking at his depiction of a skating rink, the focus being on the skates, I created a whole narrative in my mind, I could even hear the music and feel the energy. Ultimately isn’t that what art is supposed to do? Create a story for you?

I also was treated to a live performance by @Nomezflute and @loony.is.normal It started off as beat bop meets flute meets soul meets jazz, which I know sounds hard to imagine but it works. Somehow the duo, they’re able to pair the different genres of music and release a vibe that transcends what you believe you’re into musically. As Nomezflute eloquently stated, [Paraphrasing] “this is enchanting music, so let the music move you. Do whatever the fuck You want. Dance to it, move an arm or a leg to it.”

We all vibed and rocked out to the sounds of DJ Skoli. I play the wall, especially when sober, hell even when intoxicated and guess what? I was dancing! So that can only be contributed to Red Line Shorty himself. Extremely focused while ‘spinning’ but amazingly humbled outside of the turn tables. The energy he puts into ensuring you feel him, is exactly why I had to return that same energy to him.

Tristan Jonez

Jonezy Note: I always feel as an intruder to this type of events where creatives show their creativeness. Although I am a creative in my own right, not being a performer, I am slow to open up in these spaces at times. However I am always excited to be in the vicinity of such spaces, the Love was present in abundance. Thank you AMFM Gallery, as well as Aiselife and DJ Skoli.

Ego Fragility

Ladies, I will continue being an advocate for doing whatever you want. For placing yourself first, because when you’re super sweet as pie, folks think they can treat you however they see fit. That notion no longer work for me. I am not here to cater to the male ego, why should I? Why should you? So y’all know I’m attempting to date. I’m open to other races, and ages, etc. I’m opened to dating folks who aren’t my usual go to per se. I’ve struggled with how to tell men I’m just not interested, but I would prefer a soft blow over anything else. So recently chatting with a man, who I wasn’t interested at all. I responded with pleasantries but why waste time, providing false hope when I have no interest. I laughed at the response. I mean how could I not? You’re not interested yet you went out of your way to gain my attention. I could’ve respected, him not responding, or even, a “Good Night” in return. We as women have been conditioned to support the male ego, let them down softly, try not to reject them, and if you do, put the blame on you. Nope! Although I will forever be respectful in my dealings, protecting your (fragile) Ego will never be my concern.

Tristan Jonez

Save Yourself.

Even now, I still sometimes give my power to a man. I’ll let him decide if he should dump me, if this “relationship” isn’t working for him, if he’s done. Well fuck that. I’m tired of being as polite as I can, speaking softly as to not step on the fragile male ego and for what? For them to believe they are who is in control?! Nah I’m done with that. A relationship is to be mutually beneficial and if it isn’t, well then Maybe I need to be the one to step.

I’m tired of men thinking their behavior is acceptable just because the last chick didn’t correct it. As I get older, I find myself less inclined to protect the male ego. What about my own? Laying down on the sword, becomes painful after the first time. If a man, especially one you are dating, can’t see how his behavior is affecting you, then that’s not a man you should engage with. This seemingly amazing human was single for a reason, the reasons JUST became clearly obvious to you.

Save Your Damn Selves.

Tristan J.

Gimme The Goods.

I think I had the best Mexican food of life. Well my life, in my thirty two years of living, I believe I’ve found the holy grail of Mexican cuisine. Although, I have yet to visit Mexico, so I could be speaking prematurely.

Recently I had a layover (time between flights) in Austin Texas, and after working three long flights, I was due for a food break. I probably could’ve used a few cocktails too but I only opted for food. I had fish tacos, in both a corn and flour shell, a chicken quesadilla, and a chicharron taco. LISTEN! The food was beyond! And trust me, I’ve sampled what I thought was the best. From Los Angeles to New York and these restaurants had absolutely nothing!

Now I will say this, Unfortunately I can no longer eat avocados, so I wasn’t able to taste the guacamole but it looked so perfect, so fresh and delicious, I almost shed a tear.

Do you guys have a go-to Mexican Shop when your taste buds are in a Frenzy? Let me know!

Tristan J

Inventory Control.

STOP LETTING FOLKS ATTACH THEMSELVES TO YOU!

I didn’t really understand, or believe that folks can most times see the greatness in you, before you see it. And some of those same people, will attach themselves to you, not because they would like to help cultivate your greatness, they want to get as much as they can out of you, without having to put that much into you! It takes you being aware of who you are, and even more aware of the company that you are keeping.

I’ll be the first to tell you, when I travel I use my gut for singling out where I should walk, or if its really safe to go in this or that direction. However when it comes to people I am not always able to use good judgement. I want to see the best/good in everyone, even when they do me wrong. I’m working on changing some of my ways, although it pains me, sometimes you have to love folks from a very far distance.

Energy is real! Vibes are real! You have to be vigilant in who you are surrounding yourself with, continue to take inventory of how YOU feel around different people, are you more angry, anxious, sad? Hows the quality of y’all conversation, are they invested in you as you are in them? Are they contributing to the friendship in ways that are beneficial to you? Solely them? Take control of your life and the folks YOU allow in!

Tristan Jonez.