I’ve perfected the art of being alone. I want to know what it’s like to not ALWAYS be alone. As a flight attendant once the flight is over, and you’re heading to your hotel room, you’re back to being alone. Between my six month and year mark I was ready to quit! I missed having the same set of people like with a traditional 9-5. I was missing the routine of having a routine, of knowing how the day would go.
The idea of always being able to meet new people intrigued me but once I was there, in the mix of being able to do just what I said I would, nothing would happen. As I was there, I am now, I’m tired of attempting to get to know other people and the friendship doesn’t grow. I know very well that folks aren’t me but what do I have to do to create lasting forming friendships?
I’m starting to feel as if I am loosing myself within myself with the all thought consuming idea of being alone. Being alone, not being able to experience love again, not being able to experience the joy of finding out you’re having a baby, never knowing what its like to have someone look at you as if you’re the only one that matters. As much as I don’t like it, I am okay with being single. However I am not okay with ended up alone.
Am I supposed to seek? Or wait for love to find me? Depending on who you ask, will depend on the answer you receive. Then there are billions of people on the planet, how can I possibly find the person that is for me? Is there more than one person for me? Do I stay single in an attempt to date more? The bigger the pool, the more options, the more chances to pick the wrong man. And when I do ‘pick’ am I using my heart or my head?
I’m starting to understand the logic, that I may never find the one that’s looking for me.
Sadly, Tristan J.