singledom

Prize Money 


I do believe we some (most) times forget that we are the prize. We are the ones to be pursued, cherished, adored! You, above all else, have to know your value. How can you show someone how you should be treated if you aren’t treating yourself as such. Folks learn from action! 

I once found myself not being myself because in my mind, this is a “good guy” and I have to fit into whatever image he sees of me. I don’t want to loose this man’s interest cuz then I’m back to square one, and who wants to start all over? But I can’t settle, too many close calls to settling, that I’m not going to start that now. I’m the prize, and I have to treat myself as such. It’s no need to advertise what I bring to the “table”, as the man that’s looking for me will be able to realize my potential!  

Jonez 

Clawdaddy’s 


One of my absolute favorite seafood restaurant in New York! A fan (Me) favorite, especially amongst folks that are looking to have a romantic date night. However I must warn you, it’s VERY easy to get tipsy way before you even put your order in for dinner as the happy hour rivals most I’ve been to. I usually start off with their signature adult Capri suns, that goes pretty nicely with my grilled oysters. They’re sprinkled with butter and parmigiana cheese, Drool worthy! 


I can’t come to Clawdaddy’s and not order a seafood boil of Crab Legs and shrimp, which topped off with Cajun spices, Corn and potatoes makes coming to the LES (Lower East Side) truly worth it. 

Tristan J. 
Clawdaddy’s 

185 Orchard Str NY 

No Request Granted 


I can be super honest and open with you all right? Without judgement? Even tho, I don’t give a shit about anyone judging me, but y’all wouldn’t. 

By a show of hands, how many of us had a “friendwithbenefits”? Well I did. However I wouldn’t necessarily say we were friends. I wasn’t making plans for us to hang out outside of a bedroom, and he wasn’t calling so we could chop it up about our life goals. Our relationship was very specific, we talked enough to assess what was needed sexually. The few times we ventured into actual conversation about actual topics, things felt weird, at least for me. 

So imagine my utter shock and surprise when he requested me on Facebook! Like ummmm Sir, what is you doing baby? It’s weird thinking of him going through my photos, and seeing my friends, reading my thoughts, I haven’t accepted the request and I’m not sure if I will. 

Would you? 

Tristan J

Beneficial?

Such a Loaded Question, huh? 

A bad relationship ultimately and simply is any relationship you don’t really want to be in. Sex can only sustain any relationship for so long, unless it’s FWB. So many folks, including myself, have tried to stretch a relationship but it won’t work. It gets tiring quickly. 

Good sex will only sustain you until you find yourself in a better situation… with someone you actually want to pursue. Matter fact, even in a FWB situation, you’ll grow annoyed with everything besides the sex. True Story, when I was dating someone, only the sex was a highlight to them, after a while, the sex couldn’t even overshadow the person. 

So how long can good sex sustain a “bad” relationship? 

Tristan J. 

*FWB – Friends with Benefits 

Single Blues 

As much as I’m enjoying “Single life” (Lies) I’m currently going thru Single Blues. It very much could have everything to do with the upcoming change in season which is right around the corner, either way, I’m not looking to be single anymore. However I’m not looking to jump into anything random, just for the sake of not being single. I wonder if it’s possible to forget how to be in a relationship? If it’s possible to forget how to be a party of two? What if I’m no good at being someone’s significant other? Can I admit I’m a bit nervous which I think is the reason for my Single Blues. I could just be living way too much in my head but I’m concerned. 

How have you all dealt with being single while feeling like it won’t be ‘just like riding a bike.’ 

Jonez 

Drink? 

Thirsty. 

I had to have a conversation with myself last night. I was being a bit thirsty, and it was coming off as desperation when I looked at my words/actions. As much as you don’t want to be single, don’t force it. Things should have a nice flow to it, and if you find yourself trying to create a vibe, instead of letting a vibe grow organically, you might be coming off as thirsty too. 

As much as I want to be done with this dating nonsense, I can’t fake chemistry where there is none. I remember dating this one guy that was amazing! Super supportive, kind, genuinely liked me, but for me there was no spark! I thought he was dope as hell, but I didn’t feel anything. Dating him was out of the box for me, he was nothing that I would go for but my dating preferences can’t be trusted. How effed up would I have been if I continue to date this amazing man who I had no interest in? 

Ultimately you have to stay true to yourself and sometimes even check yourself! 

Jonez 

Voices.

Whenever I go against my better judgement I ALWAYS end up losing. I swear I listen to the little voice inside that says “No, don’t go down that street, or No, don’t get in that car.” but when it comes to the opposite sex, I just don’t listen. Why do we do that? After a certain age, there are no more red flags, its just bluntness, like don’t effin date him girl! He will be a waste of damn time girl! Now you know you can do much better than him girl! But we forge on, cuz we tired of single. We tired of having no one to text or call. We just plain ole tired.

This is the last time that I go against the little voice. She sick of me and so am I. I understand that everyone cannot handle this awesomeness even when you make it so damn easy, the wrong man will still make a mess of things. The fun is embedded in the journey, so make it the best one ever!

Tristan J.