Tag: relationships

Be Grown.

Since January 1st, I’ve been implementing mission: minding my damn business! Whatever someone needs to do to make themselves happy, I keep my opinion to myself. Even if their decision causes THEM pain, I just be like ‘oh ok’, or ‘wow that’s crazy’.  Folks are out here living life, however they see fit, and it’s up to me to continue to mind the business that pays me. Whether a friend or foe, I keep my opinions to myself. There are times when said person wants my opinion on things, and I’ve also been keeping that to myself. Most times, folks are going to do what they want, so I’m wasting my time, getting my feelings involved, when they aren’t going to take heed to anything being said.

I know some folks who would intervene if said person was hurting themselves, but I refuse, unless they were mentally underdeveloped. Everyone I know, and are friends with is GROWN! They are able to take care of themselves, and should be able to make sound decisions. I’ve learned people need to learn for themselves, so who am I to take away their lesson but giving them a cheat code? Nope!

Tristan Jonez

Communi

“Without active communication, the relationship is dead”

Y’all, I’m tired.

I’m so tired, I am nearing exhaustion. Have y’all ever tried to communicate for two people, yourself and another? I’m so tired of trying to decipher what someone actually means and deciphering it incorrectly. I want folks to start being upfront with what they want. Speak up! If you want A, don’t say you’re okay with B, when that’s not the truth. I know I don’t have the patience of a saint, but I do my best to allow folks to communicate at the pace they are comfortable with, but when it starts to affect me, then we have a problem.

If you are a grown up it should be a requirement that you know how to affectively communicate before you can be classified as an adult. Communication is not just about getting your point across, you have to know how to LISTEN, and put what’s been said into action. If you’re not receiving what’s being said, then what’s the point? Folks get tired of talking until they are blue in the face. I’m not going to allow folks to drain me, cuz they can’t seem to know how to actively listen!

Tristan Jonez

Listen Up!

There’s no bigger pet peeve of mine than someone telling me about me! Nobody knows me better than I know myself. Of course, someone looking from the outside can observe and notice certain things, but you’ll never be able to tell me my wants or my needs. Im honest with myself about what I need from myself and from others, no denials or delusions over here.

Please keep in mind, opinions are not facts. So when folks get into their minds that you need to hear their opinions, Feel free to listen but take it with a grain of salt. Make sure your actions align with the vision you have for you life.

Tristan Jonez.

New Direction

We have to start embracing change when its fighting to break through. We, myself included, have to stop waiting until Monday, the beginning of the month or the start of the New Year to see our changes through. As soon as you feel something needs to happen, make it.

Note to self; Get your ass up, be great, stop making excuses about why you can’t do something when there’s absolutely nothing you can’t do. Nothing!

For the majority of my writing it has focused on relationships, or the lack of them. Well I’m tired of that being my focus, especially when most of my writing is displaying the lack of relationships, lack of communication with the opposite sex. Nah, I’m going to focus on travel, food, and culture. I’m sure I’ll have a word or two about relationships, but it will not longer be a focus. I’m here for living my life, and writing about how good your first taste of French toast from Batter & Berries melts in your mouth. Or how serene it feels to listen to the church bells ring in a place where tragedy has struck.

Stick with me, You’ll love the ride. I promise.

Tristan J.

Hotel Meeting.

Are men inviting women on first dates to hotel rooms now? Or is that just me? I kid you not, this man (boy) really invited me to be hugged up in a hotel room, watching netflix! Do I even look like I would go for that shit? Well I guess so, if he even presented that as an option. Now would my answer be different if it was a five star hotel, and he was offering spa services in addition to Netflix? Well probably not BUT I would first think it over before I declined. I’m wondering where do men find the balls to make such request when they’ve done nothing that would warrant a yes in response! Conversation doesn’t equal me, loosing my damn mind, and allowing you to get the panties! On who does this tactic work for?

I get it, the winter is definitely coming butI’ll be damn if I spend my fall/winter cuffing season with men who can barely muster enough brain cells to create an imagination. Nah homie, I’d rather be single. IF a warm body, is ever needed, it won’t be you!

Tristan J.

Poem Reader.

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of attending the pop up art show at AMFM gallery, remember? Well I semi documented my time at the event, but I left out a minor detail. I met someone, and actually gave him my real number; shocking I know. Although he’s not someone I would go for, I figured why not? I’m in a new city, and my ‘type’ could be whats holding me back from finding the love of my life. Lets call him, Tyrone. Tyrone is a few years younger than me but he’s educated, passionate about his beliefs, and OD hella funny. Like have me in tears, gotta pee funny.

I warned him about me being a flight attendant, that I really have poor time management plus I’m still trying to navigate around being a flight attendant, being away from home in a new city, etc etc etc. It seems like we are still able to interact over the phone, via text and voice calls. Sidenote: The first night we actually chitchatted on the phone, before we ended the call, he read me a poem. So y’all already know I was ready to marry the kid. I just thought that was such an original, dope thing to do, very out of the ordinary, and seemed genuine. Plus for the duration we talked, he would read me a poem before hanging up.

Fast forward to now, we no longer communicate. I’m a bit sad about that but I am not going to hound someone down to be there. It went left as the day we had planned to go on an ‘official’ date he kinda just left me on read, (iPhone). Earlier in the day we were to meet, a classmate flew in, and I gave her an impromptu tour of Chicago. I got back home with enough time to nap, shower and make it to our date, but I didn’t hear anything from him for the rest of the day. I even, double texted and called a few times but no response. And before you jump to take his defense, he’s alive and thriving. So the search continues, but I wanted to let you guys know, its amazing how open you can have a female just by being original.

Happy Dating.

Tristan Jonez

Luv U.

As much as we may want the very best for our friends. As much as we may want nothing but greatness for them, we cannot be willing to work harder for it than them. Trust, I know that shit sucks but you’ll kill yourself trying to obtain greatness on behalf of someone else. I’ll continue to be there for my friends, I’ll continue to be a listening ear if necessary but I will not longer shoulder their issues. I will no longer accept their problems as my own, looking for solutions and alternatives. No. I can’t. I’ve tasted the sweet taste of happiness, it’s taken me a while to get here but NOW, that I’m here I can’t let anyone threaten that peace.

To my friends, I love you. Sincerely. I want you to learn who you are, trust in yourself and know you deserve the very best from another human being. Trust that if s/he isn’t willing to offer their best, they aren’t willing to compromise to see you happy then Be prepared to move forward without them. Know that it’s healthy to be alone, and it’s necessary to carve time out to place yourself first.

Love yourself.

Tristan J {AKA} Tiffany, Your Friend.