Decipher Tales

I want people to mean what they say. I thought your word meant Your bond? When did that change? At what point did we just say what was convenient? Convenient for that moment in time? I get a migraine trying to decipher what I should believe and what I should question. Questioning everything a person/people say is fucking tiring. And folks, I’m tired.

If you tell me, I want to be with you, I’m believing that’s gospel. I’m not thinking that you want to be with me, and everyone else. Lately I’m finding folks want me to be everything to them while they give me the left over they have from being everything to everyone else. What makes you think I want a part time love affair? Nothing, absolutely nothing about me, gives that impression.

I’ve stopped trying to understand potential love interests, I just ride the wave until it’s over.

Tristan Jonez

Changes. 

#TBT / #FBF 

I was going through a few of my old photos from as far as ten years ago and it definitely made me smile to see how much I’ve changed over the years. 

When I look at this girl, I see such a carefree, spirited person who had the World at her feet. I was still learning about myself and what I needed from myself. This Tristan, lived life as if the next day wasn’t promised. 

This Tristan J is a woman who knows when to be soft, and allow someone else to take the lead, but she’s independent enough to make whatever moves are necessary for survival, she’ll be victorious. She’s still a spirited opinionated woman who won’t hesitate to let you know when you’ve fuked up but she’ll help pick you back up. 
When you look at your old photos, what do you see? 

Jonez baby! 

Married? Eh. 


For whatever reason, I’m not safe from married men. I would never ever date a married man, cuz karma would seriously hurt me. It’s not worth the problems you will have! As much as dating can be a pain, dating someone who is already committed to another just isn’t the move. I promise you! I’m honestly not sure what vibes I’m giving off to make married men even feel they are allowed to interrupt my space. 

SideNote: I’m semi questioning if I want to get married, since lately married folk can’t stay out my inbox. What’s the point of dedicating your love to someone if you’re going to look into have your sexual needs fulfilled elsewhere beside your partner? 

Jonez. 

Showtime. 

Life is funny like that. 

Sometimes I really wonder if my life is a reality show to the angels. And if they’re constantly yelling plot twist! The number of weird randomness happening is at an all time high, and I’m just trying to get thru my work week without falling on my face. If tonight was the season finale for my reality show, I’m scared but slightly excited for next season’s foolery. 

Jonezy 

Single Blues 

As much as I’m enjoying “Single life” (Lies) I’m currently going thru Single Blues. It very much could have everything to do with the upcoming change in season which is right around the corner, either way, I’m not looking to be single anymore. However I’m not looking to jump into anything random, just for the sake of not being single. I wonder if it’s possible to forget how to be in a relationship? If it’s possible to forget how to be a party of two? What if I’m no good at being someone’s significant other? Can I admit I’m a bit nervous which I think is the reason for my Single Blues. I could just be living way too much in my head but I’m concerned. 

How have you all dealt with being single while feeling like it won’t be ‘just like riding a bike.’ 

Jonez 

A Consumer

I’m starting to feel as if I am loosing myself within myself with the all thought consuming idea of being alone. Being alone, not being able to experience love again, not being able to experience the joy of finding out you’re having a baby, never knowing what its like to have someone look at you as if you’re the only one that matters. As much as I don’t like it, I am okay with being single. However I am not okay with ended up alone.

Am I supposed to seek? Or wait for love to find me? Depending on who you ask, will depend on the answer you receive. Then there are billions of people on the planet, how can I possibly find the person that is for me? Is there more than one person for me? Do I stay single in an attempt to date more? The bigger the pool, the more options, the more chances to pick the wrong man. And when I do ‘pick’ am I using my heart or my head?

I’m starting to understand the logic, that I may never find the one that’s looking for me.

Sadly, Tristan J.

Kiddos

I’d rather not date a man with kids. Im not sure if it’s a hard no, but its defintely a situation I would like to avoid. My exboyfriend has a son, and since we was together for five years, I spent some of my time getting to know his son as well. There wasn’t a way around that especially since we lived together and all. I grew attached, so even though I am not with my ex anymore, my relationship with his child ends as well. A double blow!

I love kids. They are my favorite, but what happens when we’ve grown close? Even though folks always say everyone have kids these days, I am sure a man without children will cross my path. Until then…

Jonez.