I like your Excuse.

If I tell you what I want… If I make it a point to verbally tell you exactly what I want… and you still give an excuse, you don’t respect me.

I know what it means to be single, I know what it means to be in a relationship, dating, etc. In all situations my time needs to be respected. I find that being single this is my biggest issue. I am not going to spend time, time that I could be doing something I actually want to do, with you, if you don’t get it. If you are over the age of thirty you should ‘get it’. I am not looking to be married tomorrow BUT If this has no future, then call it quits and move on. Don’t try to rock with me because you know I am going to make sure I take care of home.

I was attempting to possibly date a guy, I made it known that if he wanted to be taken serious, and he wanted to take me out, he needed to make plans in advanced. Not the night before, but days prior. I even went as far to explain to him WHY this is a factor to me. And still there was opposition. Wanna know his reasoning? He’d rather be spontaneous, he didn’t want something to come up and he’d have to cancel on whatever was planned. I call BS. Mister, if something DID come up, just reached out and rescheduled. I am willing to compromise, but if your not even making an effort, why would I? I’m happier being single with myself, then trying to date a man who’ll eventually waste my time.

Jonez.

Care Less/Careless

Although I was not married at the time, I had an affair.

My partner and I was on the outs, arguments daily, and just in a state of unhappiness. We were nearing the end of our relationship but was still making an ‘effort’ to be together. We had put in time, and was trying to get back to the place where we was extremely happy with one another. Something just wasn’t clicking! I had booked a trip to Chicago, as I was secretly planning on moving there, and had two interviews scheduled. During my visit to the Windy City, I went to a local lounge, for grown folks, and meet an older gentleman. During the rest of my trip, we were together often. I returned back to Chicago three more times, to check out the scenery there and to get to know this gentleman better.

I was entertaining this gentleman while I knew I had a boyfriend back in New York. Although this was wrong I did not feel remorse for my actions. Even though I was not intimate with this gentleman, I would later find out that my beau was not being as faithful as he made me believe.

T. Jonez

After Five years

After five years, I think I am okay. I was with my ex boyfriend from 25 to 30. Its extremely weird that we are no longer together. Like this is the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I just knew that we would be engaged, headed for marriage now, but God laughed in my face, then yelled Plot Twist. This was the first relationship I honestly looked in, and pictured what it would be like in the future, and I knew I could possibly be happy, but I didn’t feel it. I didn’t want to spend the next 30 years faking it.

I want to genuinely be happy with the man that I marry. I wouldn’t call it a waste, as it was a lesson learned, through and through. I learned that I need to listen, I need to respect the person that I am in a relationship with, I also learned that I don’t need to dim my light for any man, that I am intelligent and if a man loves me he will value my opinion. I just cant dumb myself down for a relationship. I tried it will make you miserable ladies. This was the first New Years that we did not spend together, and I’m good.

You only have one life to live, so I encourage you to live your BEST life.

Tristan Jonez.

Stay an EX

When you create an Ex, change ur number! Block their number! Do whatever you have to so that you are not in contact with your ex. So after a beat I’m usually able to be friends with an ex, but it obviously depends on how we broke up, and what happened during the relationship. However I can be a weirdo, and be like I just dont want to be bothered with that person, and never have contact with them. The older I get the more I just dont feel like being nice, eff you. You’re an Ex, be that and stay the hell in my past.

So recently I was dating a man, and things were going so great. I was even considering moving to Philadelphia as that’s where he lived, and I wanted to be as close as I could to him. Unfortunately I was just meeting his representative cuz after a few months I got to see the real him and I didnt like what I saw. I’m a person who loves to go out, see the world outside of my bedroom, my block, my city. When I decide to be involved with another human being, that’s not my cue to JUST be cuddled up. HELL NO! Homie thought I was going to be alright with being told we was only going to have three date nights a month! When you decided to be exclusive you cant get comfortable, you have to do the same things you did in the beginning, because there are still going to be men thirsty for your shorty. Dont think she will not leave your ass for someone who appreciates her. Men have this all twisted, I will leave. I can like/love you and still leave. Homie hit me up tonight, but I just dont believe a relationship is doable between the two of us. Plus he has moved on, which is his right to do so. I can’t be mad, but be honest about what it is. You are most definitely allowed to miss me, but dont come back to me once you’ve started dealing with the next.

Dont downplay the relationship you have with this chick. Its not my job to respect her but it is your responsibility. Lord knows I would hate it, if the guy I’m newly with is chatting it up with his last. Nope. Then yall wonder why I said I’m not dating anymore.

Tristan.