Cue Trina, ‘I’m single again, back on the prowl. I thought it was perfect, I don’t know how’
I’m not sure if I’m ever sad over being single. I mean, I grow fond of people, especially if we have a genuine connection but what’s the point of fretting over spilled milk? I pay attention to the reg flags! I don’t ignore certain things just because I don’t want to be single. HELL NO! That’s how you end up with a mf for ten years, and wake up one day like ‘where did the time go?’ I refuse for that scenario to ever become my life.
I’ll even indulge in actions that I may not love but if I bring it to your attention and there’s actual change I respect it. But I’m not going to keep expressing my feelings and they continue to be ignored. I’m also tired of meeting one version of a man, then when he gets comfortable, I get to meet the real version of him. Nope! Not dealing with that anymore either. So tired of people’s representatives! At first I told myself I wasn’t going to date but off that! Let the dating olympics begin!
I am not petty but right is right. If we break up, you have to break up with everything I put you on to while together. So that bar you like, done. That restaurant where you like their wings, done. You cannot go there anymore, and you especially can’t put the next chick on. I do not want to go to my favorite spot, Angel of Harlem, and see you there! Nope. Find another place, matter fact go back to the wack spots you was frequenting prior to meeting the amazing me!
Story Time: My favorite bar while I was with my ex was Tonic. OMG! I turned 21 at Tonic, so it was my Ace of Spades, well I put my ex on, and he loved it there. That after we broke up, he thought it was acceptable to continue to frequent my spot, and even brought his damn friends. Negative! It’s not fair to me that I am no longer able to hang out at the bar I love because you don’t know how to follow the rules and break up with Tonic.
I am a lot more careful about who I show my favorite spots to, and trust its a couple. Because I’ve explored New York City so well, I had hidden gems from everything to dinner to dessert. I wonder IF I had the guys I was dating sign an agreement that they wouldn’t frequent my favorite places once we broke up, if they would actually sign it.
After five years, I think I am okay. I was with my ex boyfriend from 25 to 30. Its extremely weird that we are no longer together. Like this is the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I just knew that we would be engaged, headed for marriage now, but God laughed in my face, then yelled Plot Twist. This was the first relationship I honestly looked in, and pictured what it would be like in the future, and I knew I could possibly be happy, but I didn’t feel it. I didn’t want to spend the next 30 years faking it.
I want to genuinely be happy with the man that I marry. I wouldn’t call it a waste, as it was a lesson learned, through and through. I learned that I need to listen, I need to respect the person that I am in a relationship with, I also learned that I don’t need to dim my light for any man, that I am intelligent and if a man loves me he will value my opinion. I just cant dumb myself down for a relationship. I tried it will make you miserable ladies. This was the first New Years that we did not spend together, and I’m good.
You only have one life to live, so I encourage you to live your BEST life.