No More Single

Am I allowed to say, out loud, that I’m tired of being single? That I’m super over not having a husband? I know I just jumped over having a boyfriend, but it’s true I am tired of being single. Single is boring! Now I know why folks be cuffing’ for the winter, although I’m not looking for a warm body, having someone who I can actually communicate with. I can’t tell you how many days I look at my phone for someone to speak to, and I end up opening an app to play a game. There’s no one I want to speak to, there was one guy but thats’ a dub.

I didn’t realize I’ve been single for a year, this month. I have survived one whole year without being with the man I thought was going to be my last. I have made it! And I do not regret my decision to separate one bit. Granted I’m going through my bs of being single, for right now, but my guy is lost getting to me. I think its all the traveling I do, he’s not sure what city he should go to so he can sweep me off my feet. (Cute Right?)

Jonez.

Kiddos

I’d rather not date a man with kids. Im not sure if it’s a hard no, but its defintely a situation I would like to avoid. My exboyfriend has a son, and since we was together for five years, I spent some of my time getting to know his son as well. There wasn’t a way around that especially since we lived together and all. I grew attached, so even though I am not with my ex anymore, my relationship with his child ends as well. A double blow!

I love kids. They are my favorite, but what happens when we’ve grown close? Even though folks always say everyone have kids these days, I am sure a man without children will cross my path. Until then…

Jonez.

Just like the Videos

Sometimes I wonder if real life ever simulates the music videos I love. I am an R&B Chick through and through, so of course I’m listening to Joe. One of my favorite songs/video of his “If I was your man” So in the video he screws up his relationship with his woman, she leaves, finds a new man. Her new man, to me, looks like an upgrade from Joe, takes care of her, treats her well, but the love doesn’t run as deep as it did with Joe. Anyway by the end of the video, Joe finally realizes that “his” girl is about to be gone forever, so it makes a final plea for her love, but in a surprise of events, the girl chooses to walk away from Joe.

Clap. clap. Clap.

Yes Girl! You didn’t appreciate me while I was yours but now that I am happy with the new man you want to come back? Too damn late. If more people stayed away when they walked away, folks would value love a lot more than they currently do.

Tristan.

House Hunting

Even though I’ve been told I am not asking for a lot, clearly I am since I could never get the basic things I am asking for in a relationship/friendship. IF the date, takes me to your house, I am not with it. I am not in that type of space with anyone that I am that comfortable to continue or start our date at your house.

Whenever I had company, Garlick (My mother) always made us stay downstairs. As she explained we honestly had no reason to be upstairs in the bedroom. We wasn’t having sex, so why did we need to be in the bedroom? There’s a television, and all amenities such as food downstairs. I’m starting to feel the same way, you don’t have to push or pressure me into coming over, cuz I know I’m not trying to smash so whats the deal?

Sometimes I feel like canceling dating, and just participate in an arranged marriage.

 

Tristan Jonez.

Stay an EX

When you create an Ex, change ur number! Block their number! Do whatever you have to so that you are not in contact with your ex. So after a beat I’m usually able to be friends with an ex, but it obviously depends on how we broke up, and what happened during the relationship. However I can be a weirdo, and be like I just dont want to be bothered with that person, and never have contact with them. The older I get the more I just dont feel like being nice, eff you. You’re an Ex, be that and stay the hell in my past.

So recently I was dating a man, and things were going so great. I was even considering moving to Philadelphia as that’s where he lived, and I wanted to be as close as I could to him. Unfortunately I was just meeting his representative cuz after a few months I got to see the real him and I didnt like what I saw. I’m a person who loves to go out, see the world outside of my bedroom, my block, my city. When I decide to be involved with another human being, that’s not my cue to JUST be cuddled up. HELL NO! Homie thought I was going to be alright with being told we was only going to have three date nights a month! When you decided to be exclusive you cant get comfortable, you have to do the same things you did in the beginning, because there are still going to be men thirsty for your shorty. Dont think she will not leave your ass for someone who appreciates her. Men have this all twisted, I will leave. I can like/love you and still leave. Homie hit me up tonight, but I just dont believe a relationship is doable between the two of us. Plus he has moved on, which is his right to do so. I can’t be mad, but be honest about what it is. You are most definitely allowed to miss me, but dont come back to me once you’ve started dealing with the next.

Dont downplay the relationship you have with this chick. Its not my job to respect her but it is your responsibility. Lord knows I would hate it, if the guy I’m newly with is chatting it up with his last. Nope. Then yall wonder why I said I’m not dating anymore.

Tristan.

First Date Blues

If you do not pay for first date, that will be our last date. Call me whatever name you’d like but I’m not here for it. I have absolutely NO problem paying any date thereafter, and happily but I refuse to pay for the first date. If you do not have the money, then your ass should not be dating. Well you shouldnt be dating me.

Be a gentleman. Open my door, stay on the curb side of the sidewalk, stand when I excuse myself from the table. Where have all the gentlemen gone, and why am I not meeting any of them. If we are just hanging out then I do not expect you to pay for anything I order, we can even go dutch if that make you comfortable.

Just be advised the rules slightly changed when it goes from hanging out to dating.

Tristan.