Woman.

“You’re not the woman you think you are” -Devon

No! I’m even better!

Its funny how once you no longer care to cultivate a relationship between a man, he tries to disrespect you. However I have to give a fuck, and I don’t. When folks say, “Catch me while I care”, its not better way to describe me. I’m willing to put my time and attention into you while interested but once I see, the energy is not being distributed equally why would I continue with you? What do I look like willingly allowing you to waste my time?

I’m very willing to let a man lead, but why would I follow if you have no clue where you are going? If he wanted it, he would made it happen. Excuses are an insult to my intelligence, especially when you can afford to be honest.

Tristan Jonez

Hotel Meeting.

Are men inviting women on first dates to hotel rooms now? Or is that just me? I kid you not, this man (boy) really invited me to be hugged up in a hotel room, watching netflix! Do I even look like I would go for that shit? Well I guess so, if he even presented that as an option. Now would my answer be different if it was a five star hotel, and he was offering spa services in addition to Netflix? Well probably not BUT I would first think it over before I declined. I’m wondering where do men find the balls to make such request when they’ve done nothing that would warrant a yes in response! Conversation doesn’t equal me, loosing my damn mind, and allowing you to get the panties! On who does this tactic work for?

I get it, the winter is definitely coming butI’ll be damn if I spend my fall/winter cuffing season with men who can barely muster enough brain cells to create an imagination. Nah homie, I’d rather be single. IF a warm body, is ever needed, it won’t be you!

Tristan J.

Poem Reader.

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of attending the pop up art show at AMFM gallery, remember? Well I semi documented my time at the event, but I left out a minor detail. I met someone, and actually gave him my real number; shocking I know. Although he’s not someone I would go for, I figured why not? I’m in a new city, and my ‘type’ could be whats holding me back from finding the love of my life. Lets call him, Tyrone. Tyrone is a few years younger than me but he’s educated, passionate about his beliefs, and OD hella funny. Like have me in tears, gotta pee funny.

I warned him about me being a flight attendant, that I really have poor time management plus I’m still trying to navigate around being a flight attendant, being away from home in a new city, etc etc etc. It seems like we are still able to interact over the phone, via text and voice calls. Sidenote: The first night we actually chitchatted on the phone, before we ended the call, he read me a poem. So y’all already know I was ready to marry the kid. I just thought that was such an original, dope thing to do, very out of the ordinary, and seemed genuine. Plus for the duration we talked, he would read me a poem before hanging up.

Fast forward to now, we no longer communicate. I’m a bit sad about that but I am not going to hound someone down to be there. It went left as the day we had planned to go on an ‘official’ date he kinda just left me on read, (iPhone). Earlier in the day we were to meet, a classmate flew in, and I gave her an impromptu tour of Chicago. I got back home with enough time to nap, shower and make it to our date, but I didn’t hear anything from him for the rest of the day. I even, double texted and called a few times but no response. And before you jump to take his defense, he’s alive and thriving. So the search continues, but I wanted to let you guys know, its amazing how open you can have a female just by being original.

Happy Dating.

Tristan Jonez

BlkSingle in Chicago

Where are the single, black and attractive men in Chicago? I promise this isn’t shade, because we are all ugly to someone, but I’m looking for where the majority of Black single males hang out. I’m willing to be the single lady who goes out and does an investigation. Research is obviously needed, especially since I honestly can’t find where they are hiding. Do I need to make/take a trip to the hood? IF so, point me in the direction they might be. Is it bars? lounges? Sporting Events? Minus the club, I think I am willing to take one for the single female team, and go see where I can find a group.

Ladies, when I make contact I will ensure they bring their singles friends along. This is just the beginning, but I will not forget y’all when I find the ultimate secret land flowing with single black attractive men!

Tristan Jonez

Luv U.

As much as we may want the very best for our friends. As much as we may want nothing but greatness for them, we cannot be willing to work harder for it than them. Trust, I know that shit sucks but you’ll kill yourself trying to obtain greatness on behalf of someone else. I’ll continue to be there for my friends, I’ll continue to be a listening ear if necessary but I will not longer shoulder their issues. I will no longer accept their problems as my own, looking for solutions and alternatives. No. I can’t. I’ve tasted the sweet taste of happiness, it’s taken me a while to get here but NOW, that I’m here I can’t let anyone threaten that peace.

To my friends, I love you. Sincerely. I want you to learn who you are, trust in yourself and know you deserve the very best from another human being. Trust that if s/he isn’t willing to offer their best, they aren’t willing to compromise to see you happy then Be prepared to move forward without them. Know that it’s healthy to be alone, and it’s necessary to carve time out to place yourself first.

Love yourself.

Tristan J {AKA} Tiffany, Your Friend.

JT

Growing up I definitely was a fan of N*SYNC. When Justin decided to go solo, even in my child like mind, I knew that was a good look. It also helped that, solo, he was more geared towards R&B versus pop with N*SYNC, being friends with Timberland prolly assisted in the seamless transition. Random Thought; Do we place him in the ‘blue eyed soul category? And if so, is that considered an insult?

At first listen I didn’t exactly love the album , Man of the Woods, but upon locking myself in with it, it’s actually a very good album. I know folks crossed him off after ‘NippleGate’ but it’s been how long? Let’s let it go! I can’t remember the last time I went to a concert but I do believe in this album so fondly that I’m considering seeing him when he arrives in Chicago. If you’ve experienced the album, how does it move you?

Tristan J.

When?

When did we get into the habit of glossing over the ‘struggle’? I find that folks are so eager to show that they are winning, that it creates unrealistic expectations so when you do lose, personally, you lose your fucking mind. We know, with all forms of social media, you have to keep up airs, stay put on but isn’t that exhausting? Now don’t get me wrong, who the hell wants to solely focus on failures? Nobody. That’s a depressing place to be, but shit happens, right?

I want to create a place of equal balance. A place where we celebrate the lows just as fiercely as the highs. Now maybe I won’t be the actual person to create this haven I’m looking for but i do want to play my part. So although I do believe I vocalize my lows and highs equally, I will be more aware of the content I put out. Just as often as I scream men ain’t shit but fuck boys, I’ll turn around and showcase men who have the qualities that’ll make your knees buckle.
Balance.

T. Jonez