Hotel Meeting.

Living Life

Are men inviting women on first dates to hotel rooms now? Or is that just me? I kid you not, this man (boy) really invited me to be hugged up in a hotel room, watching netflix! Do I even look like I would go for that shit? Well I guess so, if he even presented that as an option. Now would my answer be different if it was a five star hotel, and he was offering spa services in addition to Netflix? Well probably not BUT I would first think it over before I declined. I’m wondering where do men find the balls to make such request when they’ve done nothing that would warrant a yes in response! Conversation doesn’t equal me, loosing my damn mind, and allowing you to get the panties! On who does this tactic work for?

I get it, the winter is definitely coming butI’ll be damn if I spend my fall/winter cuffing season with men who can barely muster enough brain cells to create an imagination. Nah homie, I’d rather be single. IF a warm body, is ever needed, it won’t be you!

Tristan J.

Poem Reader.

Life Lesson, Living Life, Wheres the Adventure?

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of attending the pop up art show at AMFM gallery, remember? Well I semi documented my time at the event, but I left out a minor detail. I met someone, and actually gave him my real number; shocking I know. Although he’s not someone I would go for, I figured why not? I’m in a new city, and my ‘type’ could be whats holding me back from finding the love of my life. Lets call him, Tyrone. Tyrone is a few years younger than me but he’s educated, passionate about his beliefs, and OD hella funny. Like have me in tears, gotta pee funny.

I warned him about me being a flight attendant, that I really have poor time management plus I’m still trying to navigate around being a flight attendant, being away from home in a new city, etc etc etc. It seems like we are still able to interact over the phone, via text and voice calls. Sidenote: The first night we actually chitchatted on the phone, before we ended the call, he read me a poem. So y’all already know I was ready to marry the kid. I just thought that was such an original, dope thing to do, very out of the ordinary, and seemed genuine. Plus for the duration we talked, he would read me a poem before hanging up.

Fast forward to now, we no longer communicate. I’m a bit sad about that but I am not going to hound someone down to be there. It went left as the day we had planned to go on an ‘official’ date he kinda just left me on read, (iPhone). Earlier in the day we were to meet, a classmate flew in, and I gave her an impromptu tour of Chicago. I got back home with enough time to nap, shower and make it to our date, but I didn’t hear anything from him for the rest of the day. I even, double texted and called a few times but no response. And before you jump to take his defense, he’s alive and thriving. So the search continues, but I wanted to let you guys know, its amazing how open you can have a female just by being original.

Happy Dating.

Tristan Jonez

BlkSingle in Chicago

Living Life

Where are the single, black and attractive men in Chicago? I promise this isn’t shade, because we are all ugly to someone, but I’m looking for where the majority of Black single males hang out. I’m willing to be the single lady who goes out and does an investigation. Research is obviously needed, especially since I honestly can’t find where they are hiding. Do I need to make/take a trip to the hood? IF so, point me in the direction they might be. Is it bars? lounges? Sporting Events? Minus the club, I think I am willing to take one for the single female team, and go see where I can find a group.

Ladies, when I make contact I will ensure they bring their singles friends along. This is just the beginning, but I will not forget y’all when I find the ultimate secret land flowing with single black attractive men!

Tristan Jonez

Luv U.

Living Life

As much as we may want the very best for our friends. As much as we may want nothing but greatness for them, we cannot be willing to work harder for it than them. Trust, I know that shit sucks but you’ll kill yourself trying to obtain greatness on behalf of someone else. I’ll continue to be there for my friends, I’ll continue to be a listening ear if necessary but I will not longer shoulder their issues. I will no longer accept their problems as my own, looking for solutions and alternatives. No. I can’t. I’ve tasted the sweet taste of happiness, it’s taken me a while to get here but NOW, that I’m here I can’t let anyone threaten that peace.

To my friends, I love you. Sincerely. I want you to learn who you are, trust in yourself and know you deserve the very best from another human being. Trust that if s/he isn’t willing to offer their best, they aren’t willing to compromise to see you happy then Be prepared to move forward without them. Know that it’s healthy to be alone, and it’s necessary to carve time out to place yourself first.

Love yourself.

Tristan J {AKA} Tiffany, Your Friend.

JT

Living Life

Growing up I definitely was a fan of N*SYNC. When Justin decided to go solo, even in my child like mind, I knew that was a good look. It also helped that, solo, he was more geared towards R&B versus pop with N*SYNC, being friends with Timberland prolly assisted in the seamless transition. Random Thought; Do we place him in the ‘blue eyed soul category? And if so, is that considered an insult?

At first listen I didn’t exactly love the album , Man of the Woods, but upon locking myself in with it, it’s actually a very good album. I know folks crossed him off after ‘NippleGate’ but it’s been how long? Let’s let it go! I can’t remember the last time I went to a concert but I do believe in this album so fondly that I’m considering seeing him when he arrives in Chicago. If you’ve experienced the album, how does it move you?

Tristan J.

When?

Living Life

When did we get into the habit of glossing over the ‘struggle’? I find that folks are so eager to show that they are winning, that it creates unrealistic expectations so when you do lose, personally, you lose your fucking mind. We know, with all forms of social media, you have to keep up airs, stay put on but isn’t that exhausting? Now don’t get me wrong, who the hell wants to solely focus on failures? Nobody. That’s a depressing place to be, but shit happens, right?

I want to create a place of equal balance. A place where we celebrate the lows just as fiercely as the highs. Now maybe I won’t be the actual person to create this haven I’m looking for but i do want to play my part. So although I do believe I vocalize my lows and highs equally, I will be more aware of the content I put out. Just as often as I scream men ain’t shit but fuck boys, I’ll turn around and showcase men who have the qualities that’ll make your knees buckle.
Balance.

T. Jonez

Ego Fragility

Life Lesson, Living Life

Ladies, I will continue being an advocate for doing whatever you want. For placing yourself first, because when you’re super sweet as pie, folks think they can treat you however they see fit. That notion no longer work for me. I am not here to cater to the male ego, why should I? Why should you? So y’all know I’m attempting to date. I’m open to other races, and ages, etc. I’m opened to dating folks who aren’t my usual go to per se. I’ve struggled with how to tell men I’m just not interested, but I would prefer a soft blow over anything else. So recently chatting with a man, who I wasn’t interested at all. I responded with pleasantries but why waste time, providing false hope when I have no interest. I laughed at the response. I mean how could I not? You’re not interested yet you went out of your way to gain my attention. I could’ve respected, him not responding, or even, a “Good Night” in return. We as women have been conditioned to support the male ego, let them down softly, try not to reject them, and if you do, put the blame on you. Nope! Although I will forever be respectful in my dealings, protecting your (fragile) Ego will never be my concern.

Tristan Jonez

When In … Nashville

Living Life, Wheres the Adventure?

Let’s talk about Nashville.

I can definitely understand why Nashville is being hailed as the “New Vegas”. Last month I was able to experience most of what Honky Town (their words, not mine) had to offer. As y’all know every month, a destination is chosen, then my fly sister and I partake in the culture of said city. I must say, it was an interesting trip, at the least. Do you know how much trouble one can get into in Nashville? Tons babe! Side note: Be open-minded, and don’t be sober for too long.

After walking up and down the bar strip, we FINALLY found a bar that played Hip Hop/R&B, bonus its the rooftop. Double bonus is the famous Nudie’s Honky Tonk! Just know alcohol is definitely liquid courage, it helps you to live outside of your head. {DISCLAIMER: Know your fucking limit when drinking!} I had a great time, dancing, and vibing to the music. I believe always being in control and in charge of my life, sometimes leave me forgetting to enjoy the moment I’m currently in.

What city has helped to release your Inhibitions?

Tristan Jonez

Self-Sabo.

Life Lesson, Living Life

Low Key (High Key) I think I’m sabotaging my dating life by entertaining men who couldn’t possibly be good for me. Men who couldn’t give me half of what I am looking for, attracted to me, with the gift of gab, that’s who gets my attention. Ugh. Men who I know don’t deserve my attention, somehow captures it and when they eventually disappoint me, I’m hesitant to cut them off. Double Ugh. I’m sadden to know I’m bringing these horrid habits to a new city. Since I’m aware of the poor choices I am making, I am scaling back a bit from dating.

Don’t worry I’m still going to date but how about we try dating with purpose. Although I loathe writing a long list of what I am seeking in a guy, but maybe that’s exactly what I should be doing. I should have a clear understanding, but flexible, vision of what I’m looking for in an partner. God so help me, if I get carried away, and have a list of fifty thousand requirements. So to be sure I don’t get to carried away once I write down my ‘list’ I’ll post it. I know I know, scary right? And super super personal, but you guys are worth knowing all the intimate details of my life, since I already over share my shit.

Tristan Jonez

FYI – Wish me Luck! XOXO

Save Yourself.

Life Lesson, Living Life

Even now, I still sometimes give my power to a man. I’ll let him decide if he should dump me, if this “relationship” isn’t working for him, if he’s done. Well fuck that. I’m tired of being as polite as I can, speaking softly as to not step on the fragile male ego and for what? For them to believe they are who is in control?! Nah I’m done with that. A relationship is to be mutually beneficial and if it isn’t, well then Maybe I need to be the one to step.

I’m tired of men thinking their behavior is acceptable just because the last chick didn’t correct it. As I get older, I find myself less inclined to protect the male ego. What about my own? Laying down on the sword, becomes painful after the first time. If a man, especially one you are dating, can’t see how his behavior is affecting you, then that’s not a man you should engage with. This seemingly amazing human was single for a reason, the reasons JUST became clearly obvious to you.

Save Your Damn Selves.

Tristan J.