Love & Death

I loved a man once.

He was the easiest to love, to like, to talk to, to be around, he was everything. I didn’t realize how ‘everything’ he was until recently. Even though he is gone, and has been for some time, he’s not. He was my best friend before I knew what I needed from a best friend. The thought of him makes me smile more than it makes me cry, and I only cry cuz I can’t experience him in ‘living color’.

I miss him.

I know I tell you guys this often, but make sure you are expressing yourself to your loved ones, to your friends, to yourself. Make sure they know how you love them, how much you love them, and that you appreciate them. I have peace in my heart because I know how much I was loved by this man, and on the flip side, I rest easy knowing that he knew how much I loved him. How I would do anything for him, to ensure his happiness. Sometimes what we believe we want for ourselves, outweights everything else, including our common sense. As I long as I live, I will keep his memory alive, if only within myself.

Rest Easy Ali Sidney.

Tristan Jonez.

AliSidney

Is it possible to ever really get over someone? What if that person is your soulmate?

I dont think there is a day that goes by that I do not think of Ali Sidney. He is still my dream man, my prince charming, my first love. I’m present in this moment as I am in every moment, and right now my thoughts are on him. I write about him from time to time, not as much as I should, but as much as needed. Lately I’ve been missing his friendship, he was my very best friend. I could tell him anything and he would be able to give me solutions in a way that no one has ever been able to duplicate. My soul aches for the man he could’ve become, the father, the friend, the future him.

Suicide is honestly a permanent solution to what is usually a temporary problem. It is a selfish decision, that affects all but the one committing suicide. You’re gone but we are left to deal with the pieces, some of which takes years to heal from. Wanting to quit is normal, but if you are harboring these feelings, take the time to reach out to someone. There are several avenues that are available to you, please know that you are NOT alone. I love you, and I am here to help in any and every way.

Tristan Jonez.