So I’m not sure if this is a pattern but its staring to feel like one.
Men who chase women down, with only the intention of wasting her time. If we are friends, and you want more, I am all for making your intentions known, but if you are ready to go there, be ready for the consequences as well. Why are you ‘awakening’ her if you have no intention beyond that action? Just leave us be!
On two separate occasions with two different men, I’ve been pursued, only to agree to a date, that they waste my damn time. I’ve long stopped listening to words that men, say and look towards their actions. If nothing is being shown, why would I stay?
While growing up in Baltimore has helped me create long lasting friendships, it’s also given me one of my most painful relationships. I met Troy* when I was 14, and my little World stopped. He was the most mysterious boy I had ever met. I promise you, I wasn’t even a factor in his day and he was my whole damn World. I was too shy to speak two words to him but I just knew it was love. As the months went by we became cordial, can’t help but to be when you see each other every day. I would constantly discuss him with my friends, but they were sick of my obsession. Unfortunately, with Baltimore being the crime capital of the world, at that time, Troy was arrested for a crime unknown to me, but I saw that as my opportunity to empower myself and reach out to him.
I couldn’t tell you how many letters I wrote but the care and love that went into each one was my therapy, I’m sure it was his as well. My feelings were solidified every time he wrote me back. I do believe our forever friendship was forged during that time. Unfortunately we would never be together in any capacity, it’s weird, cuz I love this man. Still. I’m sure it has everything to do with how he views me. To him, I’m the best of the best from Baltimore , Im his Queen, his best friend, his wife and the mother of his only son. Troy respects me in a way that no man has ever, he places me on a pedestal, that I could never live up to but I love him equally.
In Troy I see my motivator, my biggest fan, my protector from all things seen and unseen, he’s my best friend, my love, my dream, and even with all the beautiful qualities he possesses we will never be together. I’m not sure if it was ever written for us to embark on a journey together.
However, whatever the future may possibly hold, Troy, I’ve loved you from the moment I met you, and I’ll love you forever.
*Name Has been Changed