failed relationships

Self-Sabo.

Life Lesson, Living Life

Low Key (High Key) I think I’m sabotaging my dating life by entertaining men who couldn’t possibly be good for me. Men who couldn’t give me half of what I am looking for, attracted to me, with the gift of gab, that’s who gets my attention. Ugh. Men who I know don’t deserve my attention, somehow captures it and when they eventually disappoint me, I’m hesitant to cut them off. Double Ugh. I’m sadden to know I’m bringing these horrid habits to a new city. Since I’m aware of the poor choices I am making, I am scaling back a bit from dating.

Don’t worry I’m still going to date but how about we try dating with purpose. Although I loathe writing a long list of what I am seeking in a guy, but maybe that’s exactly what I should be doing. I should have a clear understanding, but flexible, vision of what I’m looking for in an partner. God so help me, if I get carried away, and have a list of fifty thousand requirements. So to be sure I don’t get to carried away once I write down my ‘list’ I’ll post it. I know I know, scary right? And super super personal, but you guys are worth knowing all the intimate details of my life, since I already over share my shit.

Tristan Jonez

FYI – Wish me Luck! XOXO

Yikes.

Living Life

I know I talk about dating all the time, well at least I think about it often enough, but this time I think I am done with dating. It’s exhausting. Seriously, I do not think I have the energy it takes to really meet anyone. Talk to anyone, actually get to know any damn one. Ugh. No Thank you.

Sure I tell you guys that you should keep hope alive, and push pass how you may be feeling at the currently moment, because there is always hope to be found. But blah! All I can tell you guys, Is good damn luck!

First I will delete all the dating apps I have, they are useless. However I did have success, and haven’t met many amazing men. To keep the balance, in the interim of deleting all apps I will be opened to meeting folk IF they approached me. I wouldn’t be so quick to turn them away. Although I am not willing to change my number, I will be blocking every Ex that still reaches out. No need to continue to give people access to me, when that relationship has ended. I’m sure I will make other changes as the weeks carry on, but this will do for now.

Tristan J.

Chasing.

Life Lesson, Living Life

So I’m not sure if this is a pattern but its staring to feel like one.

Men who chase women down, with only the intention of wasting her time. If we are friends, and you want more, I am all for making your intentions known, but if you are ready to go there, be ready for the consequences as well. Why are you ‘awakening’ her if you have no intention beyond that action? Just leave us be!

On two separate occasions with two different men, I’ve been pursued, only to agree to a date, that they waste my damn time. I’ve long stopped listening to words that men, say and look towards their actions. If nothing is being shown, why would I stay?

Jonez

Worth the Wait? I’ll never know 

Life Lesson, Living Life

While growing up in Baltimore has helped me create long lasting friendships, it’s also given me one of my most painful relationships. I met Troy* when I was 14, and my little World stopped. He was the most mysterious boy I had ever met. I promise you, I wasn’t even a factor in his day and he was my whole damn World. I was too shy to speak two words to him but I just knew it was love. As the months went by we became cordial, can’t help but to be when you see each other every day. I would constantly discuss him with my friends, but they were sick of my obsession. Unfortunately, with Baltimore being the crime capital of the world, at that time, Troy was arrested for a crime unknown to me, but I saw that as my opportunity to empower myself and reach out to him. 
I couldn’t tell you how many letters I wrote but the care and love that went into each one was my therapy, I’m sure it was his as well. My feelings were solidified every time he wrote me back. I do believe our forever friendship was forged during that time. Unfortunately we would never be together in any capacity, it’s weird, cuz I love this man. Still. I’m sure it has everything to do with how he views me. To him, I’m the best of the best from Baltimore , Im his Queen, his best friend, his wife and the mother of his only son. Troy respects me in a way that no man has ever, he places me on a pedestal, that I could never live up to but I love him equally. 

In Troy I see my motivator, my biggest fan, my protector from all things seen and unseen, he’s my best friend, my love, my dream, and even with all the beautiful qualities he possesses we will never be together. I’m not sure if it was ever written for us to embark on a journey together. 

However, whatever the future may possibly hold, Troy, I’ve loved you from the moment I met you, and I’ll love you forever. 

Tristan Jonez 

*Name Has been Changed  

Dude Stop. 

Living Life

I want to believe I am honest in what I write, especially when it comes to information about myself. Plus folks are going to judge, so I’d rather folks judge me based on my actual truth. Since I turned 31, I’ve felt as if I have to get married, I have to have children,  sooner than later, so I was making decision based of that fact. WRONG MOVE!

Recently I realized Im out here looking nuts. I’m allowing shit from men that I wouldn’t even date otherwise, dealing with BS just cuz I panicked that I would be alone. I was like well Jonez, having someone who is half decent is better than not having anyone at all. See, I was straight tripping! I had to really be honest with myself about my actions, I had to make the choice, to make myself happy long term. I left two relationships in my life because of the long term. I wasn’t wit being disrespected at 25, so I had to chat with myself cuz allowing disrespect now, wasn’t the move.

Plus Im not alone, I have you guys. Loves You.

Tristan Jonez

The Table.

Living Life

The Vibe I got from a guy I was recently (semi) dating, is I am asking for way too much! For just a date, I have way too many requirements! For a relationship, I have way too many expectations. I do believe that I used to have expectations, which is always open for discussion, but my expectations are things that a man should practice as his daily habits.

A man should be communicating, never do I want 24hrs to go by and there is no communication. I totally get that we live in a busy world, and our schedules may not always be in sync but that’s no excuse for a lack of communication. How easy is it for a text, or a voice message? If I am always the one making the moves, the plans, then why am I with you, if I’m going to be the man in this situation? I shouldn’t be opening my own doors, but I realize this a ‘independent woman world’ so cool I’ll handle that but once again I shouldn’t have to. Without asking, you should be making me feel like the most amazing woman on the planet, just because I am with you. What happened to that? Focusing in on the one you are with, really getting to know them, their likes and dislikes? What happened to taking our time?

For a second I thought I was asking too much from the guys I was dating but when I really think about all that I have to offer, and bring to the table, I’m not asking for nearly enough.

Tristan Jonez.

My Ex Says.

Living Life

I’d recently met a guy online, and we were chatting, getting to know one another. Things were going fairly well, until he asked “What would you’re ex say about you?”

WHO THE HELL CARES!

I don’t give a shit, what my ex(es) would say about me honestly. And homeboy shouldn’t care either. Do I know what my ex would say about me? Of course I do, but his opinion doesn’t matter anymore. Even if the man was trying to make conversation, bringing up the last man, automatically disqualifies you! Questions about exes, isn’t exactly off limits but tread carefully. I don’t usually even ask why y’all broke up because I do not care!

All that matters is your single now!

Jonez.