“Met a lot of women, got a lot of niggas, but everybody full of shit, that’s why we back and forth again. My heart severely scorned and you the cause of it.”
Oh Wale, there’s so much to unpack here, with just two sentences. So you’re willing to stay in a “relationship” with this person, although she’s scorned your heart because everyone else is full of shit? Isn’t that how it works tho? Especially in this age of companionship? How many times have we met someone, started to get to know them, then the red flags pop but instead of falling back, we fall deeper into?
If I’m honest that was my plight with my most recent ‘love’. Shorty has been hurt before, probably more than once, but he refuses to seek assistance on how to move forward past them. Then here I come into his World, showing him something different from what he’s used to, being consistently consistent, but he’s hesitant to fully give me a chance. He’ll continue to entertain other women, cuz then he really doesn’t have to face his past traumas or give me his whole heart but I’m not here to ‘heal’ him if he’s not willing to do the hard, frustrating but necessary work. He’ll rather go back to what he’s used to cuz how can you get hurt when your able to control the experience?
“She gonna find her solace, in knowing a nigga is damaged. She gonna take my heart, cuz a nigga took her for granted.”
Solace n. Comfort or consolation in a time of distress or sadness.
Now Wale, I can’t speak for all Women, but being with a damaged man, makes EVERYTHING that much fucking harder, especially anything surrounding emotions. I’m sure if we knew PRIOR to catching feelings for this man, that he was damaged, we would exit stage right immediately. Black men hardly want to identify the triggers that caused damage, barely want to explore how to correct those triggers so he isn’t ‘bleeding’ on the next, or acknowledge that he is damaged at all! IF and when, a man gives us his heart after he’s been damaged, its a struggle, it stays a struggle because he stays on guard, just waiting for the moment we screw up then he can retreat back to his shell.
Vulnerability adj. susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.
Falling in Love requires vulnerability. You are literally placing your heart in the hands of someone who can hurt you, but you are placing faith and confidence that they won’t. You can’t be in love and have one foot in, nah. Love requires both feet, and all body parts including your brain. You have to be more than okay handing over the most sacred part of yourself over to someone. I’m sure not Love can work otherwise, damaged or not.
Song Lyrics from Break my heart (My Fault) Ft. Lil Durk
I’ve come to have more of an appreciation of Jay-Z as I’ve gotten older.
Big up to my homie Deja, because of said friend, I am able to listen to the FULL collection of work by Jay, on Tidal. I wanted to hear his interview which was exclusively, on Tidal, but then I started to miss being able to hear his music whenever. Yesterday, I was going thru some of the music, and really thinking about his songs/albums and which one or ones relates to my life. Watch the Throne is my absolute Favorite body of work.
SideNote: I’ll be happy when Kanye and Jay, finally sit down and hash out whatever the issue is between them. Listening to Watch the Throne, has me all in my feelings as they make AMAZING music, it’s such a special body of work. As men, I know it sometimes take a bit longer to reach out when lines have been crossed, but as family, we all gotta swallow our pride and make the move.
SideNote II: Although I haven’t really had a chance to listen to 4:44, Watch the Throne will forever be Number one for me. Every time I listen to the album I feel as though I am fucking royalty, and I am coming into my own as a blk princess. I love the contrast between Jay-Z’s voice and Kanye’s. Even the flow of the album sits well with me, honestly one of both their best work.
Even though I am a Baltimore Chick through and through, I Love Wale!! I know I know, he’s from DC and this is a forbidden love, but I can’t help it. There’s something about him musically that I can not get enough of. It’s like he knows everything about me so he writes songs that speaks directly to me. There hasn’t been an album released by my boo Wale that I didn’t love and rock until I couldn’t listen anymore.
I’m currently obsessing over his latest release, SHINE. I believe this is his best work to date. However I always feel like he continuously pushes himself, with each album release. I love that he has incorporated more of the sounds from his country, although he does have more features this time around. I honestly couldn’t pick my top three but I forced myself to do so.
Top Three: My Love, Fashion Week and My PYT … honorable mention CC White.
SideNote: Wale’s Summer on Sunset (Mixtape) is Fire. It’s unfortunate that I haven’t been able to put the album on my phone and Spotify is not up on game. If you get the chance to listen to the album, Please listen to Day by the pool, its ridiculously sick!