Dad?

Dear Dad,

I thought long and hard about what I would say to you, If given the opportunity to speak to you, and I still have trouble finding words to adequately express my feelings. First, thank you for connecting with my Geraldine Garlick, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, inside and out. Although y’all connection was short, It was long enough to create me! So for that alone, I thank you. I have no malice in my heart for you, and hope that you learn the errors of your ways before its too late to make amends. I’ve done all I can, and all I will to have a healthy father-daughter relationship with you. I promise I’m not mad, bitter or angry. I forgive you in advance for the apology that will come much later. You know the one … where you explain because you didn’t have a clear example of what a father should look like, you didn’t know what was expected of you, although Pops was an amazing grandfather. Or the excuse, that because I lived 200 miles away, and my mother ‘never’ let you see me, you didn’t know what else you could have done to raise me. Or the one where it seemed I was such an independent kid, It didn’t seem like there was any room for you to actually be a parent.

I’ve already forgiven you, now forgive yourself. I am not blocking you out of spite, but more out of protection for my sanity. I can no longer allow you to mistreat me, and I certainly will not allow you to disappoint/neglect my children (some day). How can I? At some point, I have to cut off the toxicity at the root before it has room to spread. I genuinely love you dad, but the love I have for myself surpasses that. Take Care Old man.

Love you to bits,

Tristan Jonez.

Geraldine.

To better cope with the death of my mother, somehow I created a game that was to be played by us. Whenever I saw the numbers 10:13, that was my indication that my mother was thinking about me, and wanted me to know. 10:13 was my momma’s birthday! Over the years, seeing this, has brought me so much comfort, especially on days where I just didn’t want to deal with life. I feel my spirit being uplifted, when I see this, and most times it feels so random. I just happen to look at my watch, then Bam! its 10:13.

Do you guys have any ‘games’ that you may have created to communicate with your loved ones who may have passed away?

Tristan Jonez