Today wasn’t a hard day per se, but it was a tough day. A day were I wanted to quit everything, and say fuck everyone. Today was a day where I chose to look in the ‘mirror’ and tell myself to get it the fuck together. I’ve been slacking for the past three days. Nevermind I cooked Sunday dinner, that’s easy, I’ve been slacking on my Spanish lessons because I’ve been feeling so damn sorry for myself. Boo hoo Me. Needing love and attention from certain people but because of their own demons, they do not know how to express love in a way that I need it shown. Its hard living life without parents, especially if you know what its like to have an incredible one. I miss me some Garlick (my momma)! I used to wish for just a chance at a conversation, but I would never be able to let her go again. So I just deal with what my reality is now, and keep pressing forward.
Sidenote; Prior to going to the grocery store, I had made the decision to be done with my Spanish lessons. Tell me why in the checkout line, a Spanish man, decided to have a conversation with me in Spanish. And instinctively I responded to his questions with ease, as he was talking it was like I knew exactly what he was saying, and I knew how I wanted to respond. What a beautiful thing that interaction was. However flirting is flirting in any language so I had to go! What really made me rethink quitting, was seeing his face, as I was talking my Spanish. It was a look of surprise, like oh shit, she understands! She understands AND comprehend beyond ‘Hola”. Before I left he made sure to compliment me on my perfect Spanish! Maybe that was the motivation I needed to continue.