I’ve been thinking about the conversations I’ve had with my guy recently and I don’t think we consider men’s trauma. Of course we know they have to deal with nonsense just like women in relation to relationships but there’s a “Just get Over it” vibe that we emit. If a woman states, she’s not ready for a relationship, or she simply doesn’t want one, she’s asked a billion questions as to why she feels this way, most times it’s assumed she’s been hurt by a man. However when a man makes this statement, it’s taken at face value. I’m guilty of this, although I don’t usually question women, It doesn’t cross my mind to ask a man, to elaborate his feelings; mistake number one.
Although I am no longer seeking a committed relationship with my guy currently, it’s been interesting getting to know him. Relationships can and will change as feelings deepens. Because he seems as a man who’ll give everything to a relationship, he’s moving cautiously because of the past traumas he’s endured. I haven’t asked him to provide details, not because I’m not interested, I want to know all parts of him, but I’ve found in dealing with trauma, it should be something the person wishes to discuss. He knows I’m a great look for him, however he’s been through too much to move forward with his heart lightly, and I could never fault him for that.
Ladies, I think we have to start being more sympathetic to how men feel. We should be asking questions and seeking clarification when we don’t know something and would like to. I understand a man should be adult enough to speak up but we don’t know what they’ve been faced with prior to entering our lives. I also believe men have to learn how to use their words, when expressing their feelings. If we start creating safe spaces for both, men and women to feel comfortable, less communication mishaps will occur.