Dear Blk Men

I know you might be scared to assist a Blk woman when she is being harassed by a black man, but please imagine how scared she might be in that situation. More often than not, I deal with my share of harassing experiences, today was just an intense version. So the blue line in Chicago, is just full of all the wrong shit, and usually avoid it all the time. However It was the closest train, so this black man, loudly, told me how he would ‘fuck the shit out of me’ and ‘how he know I would like it’ It caught me so off guard, I verbally said, “What?!” to which he went on to say more of the same. And even though, on the outside, I may have looked cool, I was scared af, and paranoid. Was he going to follow me on the train, harass me more there, possibly try to get physical with me? To be in a crowd of people, and wonder, will anyone help me, if it came to it? Would I be the next person online, trying to fight an attacker, with everyone around, only to record it?

As much as I love being a Black Woman, Sometimes I have trouble navigating the space I am in, in regards to other Black Men. My body, EVEN WHEN FULLY DRESSED, is sexualized! I’ve normalized traveling with pepper spray, and a taser when I can, but I would love to experience this World, without fearing if the man next to me is going to Hurt me.


Also, All the situations Ive ever had in life, that was sexually harassing, was with a Black Man.

BlkSingle in Chicago

Where are the single, black and attractive men in Chicago? I promise this isn’t shade, because we are all ugly to someone, but I’m looking for where the majority of Black single males hang out. I’m willing to be the single lady who goes out and does an investigation. Research is obviously needed, especially since I honestly can’t find where they are hiding. Do I need to make/take a trip to the hood? IF so, point me in the direction they might be. Is it bars? lounges? Sporting Events? Minus the club, I think I am willing to take one for the single female team, and go see where I can find a group.

Ladies, when I make contact I will ensure they bring their singles friends along. This is just the beginning, but I will not forget y’all when I find the ultimate secret land flowing with single black attractive men!

Tristan Jonez

No Request Granted 

I can be super honest and open with you all right? Without judgement? Even tho, I don’t give a shit about anyone judging me, but y’all wouldn’t. 

By a show of hands, how many of us had a “friendwithbenefits”? Well I did. However I wouldn’t necessarily say we were friends. I wasn’t making plans for us to hang out outside of a bedroom, and he wasn’t calling so we could chop it up about our life goals. Our relationship was very specific, we talked enough to assess what was needed sexually. The few times we ventured into actual conversation about actual topics, things felt weird, at least for me. 

So imagine my utter shock and surprise when he requested me on Facebook! Like ummmm Sir, what is you doing baby? It’s weird thinking of him going through my photos, and seeing my friends, reading my thoughts, I haven’t accepted the request and I’m not sure if I will. 

Would you? 

Tristan J

The Perfect Kast

Big Up to The Perfect Kast for Episode 41: New Suit… Who this?

I can’t even put into words how amazed I am that you all were a billion percent honest about your lack or your openness about your feelings of masculinity in the black community. We definitely need to continue to have this conversation in such an open setting, and once we have the conversation, we need to have it again! As you all pointed out the generation prior to us, still don’t get it, and they probably won’t, but I am determined to try to get through to them. Shit, growing up, the word of life was, “What happens in this house, stays in this house.” As a child, how do we determine what events we are to keep in the house? My family, personally, is so full of secrecy that I don’t know what is allowed to be talked about, and what I am supposed to keep to myself.

I appreciate that you was open enough to let us know that you sought counseling, and that you have shared your experience with your frat brothers. As funny and hilarious as the show always is, I thank you for taking the time to address this subject, because you guys could have easily changed the topic.

Tristan Jonez