Dream Girl

Men will create the opportunity to ‘Real Life’ obtain their dream girl, then fumble. I believe both men and woman are the ones who choose, but consistency is the fucking key. No relationship is perfect, however acknowledge your wrong doings, and apologize. For me, that’s the key. We can, and will have disagreements, but it in HOW you choose to argue. I am not disrespectful so I would never allow someone to treat me in a disrespectful manner, ever. Any person who cant check themselves is not a man I want to be with. Why would I?

Whether plutonic or relationship, If I am wrong I will apologize with the quickness. Shit we all learned conflict resolution in school, utilize those skills love! I am not going to date men from my past, if you didn’t have the balls to approach me then, maybe I am not for you. All Love tho.

Tristan Jonez.

Dear Diary …

I’m tired of being me, but I don’t want to be anyone else, Ever.

I get tired of folks seeking and using my light, my energy for themselves. Depleting, taking all my gifts, and failing to replenish. Some humans just know how to drain the Life out of you. Sidenote; I don’t think I’ve been kind to myself lately. I KNOW I need a beach, I know I need to feel the sand between my fingers, on my body and I have yet to give my soul what its’ seeking.

How often do you retreat to give yourself what you need? Do you listen to your body/soul when it says Stop? Go? Rest?

Jonez.

Take this L.

I’ve outgrown wanting revenge on others. I used to wish karma would get them back immediately when folks would do really shitty things to me. It would be a full on prayer, please karma, I need you to bring in motion what will be as their punishment, and if I’m fortunate I’ll be there to witness it! Please! I look back and laugh now, the best form of revenge is moving forward happily. I know, easier said than done, but once you’ve learned how to master it, it will get easier. People know exactly what they are doing, when they choose to disrespect, violate, and misplace your trust, so why would I give anyone the satisfaction of ‘making a scene’. Nah. Once you’ve lost my respect, there’s nothing left to be said.

In the words of Nipsey Hussle, “When your intentions are pure, you don’t lose anyone, they lose you.”

Tristan J.

Crushin’

Y’all! I had the biggest crush when I was growing up in Baltimore .. Lil’ Stevie. He had to be the most beautiful man I ever laid eyes on, killer smile, amazing complexion and just charming, although he might’ve said hey to me, once. I’m sure he could’ve asked me to wait an eternity for him, and I probably would’ve done it. All logic left my body when I had the pleasure to be near him. I’m three years younger than shorty so I wasn’t on his radar. I will say this, because I was the new girl in my neighborhood, everyone knew who I was, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he knew my name, and maybe even what my face looked like, but still not on his radar.

So some months ago a guy started following me on Instagram and FB, up until recently I had no clue it was him. I had been chit chatting with him like he’s just a regular degular guy, I even half way tried to holla at him. Y’all can’t know how mortified I was when I pieced together that it was him! Lil’ Stevie was real ‘thing’ and I was just super cool about it. However even if he was as single as a dollar bill, there would NEVER be an opportunity. Reality has the tendency to mess with the fantasy that you’ve created in your head. I will not, and cannot allow reality to get in the way!

Although I am now an adult, and I could speak on how I felt as a kid, hell I might could even suggest we go meet up fro drinks and dinner, I want to preserve the idea of how he is in my head. Plus, after drinks all he would have to do is smile, and I’m sure my panties would evaporate!

Have you ever had a crush, and was able to bring ‘y’all’ to life? If you had the opportunity to bring it to life, would you?

Tristan Jonez.

Single Again

Cue Trina, ‘I’m single again, back on the prowl. I thought it was perfect, I don’t know how’

I’m not sure if I’m ever sad over being single. I mean, I grow fond of people, especially if we have a genuine connection but what’s the point of fretting over spilled milk? I pay attention to the reg flags! I don’t ignore certain things just because I don’t want to be single. HELL NO! That’s how you end up with a mf for ten years, and wake up one day like ‘where did the time go?’ I refuse for that scenario to ever become my life.

I’ll even indulge in actions that I may not love but if I bring it to your attention and there’s actual change I respect it. But I’m not going to keep expressing my feelings and they continue to be ignored. I’m also tired of meeting one version of a man, then when he gets comfortable, I get to meet the real version of him. Nope! Not dealing with that anymore either. So tired of people’s representatives! At first I told myself I wasn’t going to date but off that! Let the dating olympics begin!

Tristan Jonez

Hotel Meeting.

Are men inviting women on first dates to hotel rooms now? Or is that just me? I kid you not, this man (boy) really invited me to be hugged up in a hotel room, watching netflix! Do I even look like I would go for that shit? Well I guess so, if he even presented that as an option. Now would my answer be different if it was a five star hotel, and he was offering spa services in addition to Netflix? Well probably not BUT I would first think it over before I declined. I’m wondering where do men find the balls to make such request when they’ve done nothing that would warrant a yes in response! Conversation doesn’t equal me, loosing my damn mind, and allowing you to get the panties! On who does this tactic work for?

I get it, the winter is definitely coming butI’ll be damn if I spend my fall/winter cuffing season with men who can barely muster enough brain cells to create an imagination. Nah homie, I’d rather be single. IF a warm body, is ever needed, it won’t be you!

Tristan J.

Focus.

Ladies,

Stop allowing men to treat you as if you are regular. You are not! You are of the absolute best of the best. Lately, Even I have forgotten of my magic, the essence of me, that makes me who I am. I am not here just to accept so willingly the bullshit that a man chooses to provide me. And if he cannot see what he has available to him, let him not see anything. Too many times do we forget there are millions upon millions of men out there, so we have such a selection. WE are the ones who decide who we will date, who we will let pursue us, who we will … I think you get my point!

For the time being, I am going to focus on my challenge of being a tourist in New York City for the month of December.

Tristan Jonez.

Vent Tent.

I am a final destination for the person who is supposed to be with me. I am not a pit stop for those trying to find their way through life’s journey! I know I am amazing! I am dedicated to doing almost whatever is necessary to ensure a man reaches his potential. However I am not here to be a step stool, nah. It’s possible I’m just in feels right now, cuz I am so tired of men having their hand out for what they believe I should be doing for them. When did it become my job to court a man? Is it also my job to my open the door for my date, pick up my date from his house? What else am I now required to do for a man?

I ask for consistency. I’m sure there are many other things I ask for from a man but everything I ask for I can give and am willing to give. I KNOW I can play the game just like, if not better than a man. But who the hell has time for that? Certainly not I. So … for the time being I will be focusing on what I need to do to better myself. When the time is right, my King will make himself known. Until then, I’m just out here living Life.

Thank you for letting me vent!

Jonezy