Bthcre/Slfcre

You didn’t ask but I haven’t been sleeping well at all. Even with my melatonin, I just can’t sleep! My bed, shout out to my best friend, is comfortable as ever but I lay in it, lights turned off and I just cant sleep! Last night was Day Three of Operation No Sleep! Sigh.

So When I got up at 7am, I know, I was seeking something to assist me. Here comes Bath Time! Yes, at 8am, I cleaned my tub, and prepped for a bath. In my circle of friends, I am the bath Queen. No matter my mood, or what’s going on in the World around me, Its always a great time to take a bath. I made a lil bath cocktail (Ingredients layered to create a bath mood) and while I was in there, I focused on exfoliating my body. So scrub scrub scrub, with a pumice on my feet, and with a sugar body scrub for everything else. Can I tell y’all how relaxed, and chill I was? Listen! … If that bath date, self care routine doesn’t help me sleep, then shit I might be a lost cause.

Tristan Jonez.

What do yall use to help relax yall for bedtime?

Flags of Red

I saw the red flags. Each and Every One, I saw them. When I recognized them, I fell back. I wasn’t that deep in with homie, so I was able to begin the process of walking away. Yeah, he was dope, and treated me well BUT I saw the Red Flags. I fucking saw them! I think that’s the part that annoys me the most about my most recent dating situation, the fact that I saw the red flags, began the process of walking away, but because he pursued me, I abandoned all sensible logic and stayed. Now I’m dealing with the aftermath. I’m better today, than I was a few weeks ago, but still, to have to deal with this, knowing I saw the Red Flags just sigh…

Be better than me, when you see those Red Flags, and you will, be strong enough to know he is not WHO you are waiting for.

Tristan Jonez.

I am tired of always telling folks how they should show up for me, in certain situations. I am tired of being the example I would like reflected back at me. Tired of being there for people when they need it, but not receiving the same support. I know I cant control the way in which someone chooses to support me, BUT support me. Sometimes I think my purpose in life is to be in service of others, making sure they are okay, checking in on them, etc, but every once in a while, I’d like someone to say “Thanks for checking on me, truthfully, how are you doing?” Being the ‘strong’ one is annoying, cuz folks thinks you really have your shit together and you don’t. Not even close but because you don’t have that ‘rock’ you’re left to pick up the pieces of your life.

Thank God for counseling.

Find your tribe, and love on them hard. I’m still seeking mine.

Jonez.

This Chapter …

Is called, “Worry ‘Bout Yo’ Self!”

Since the beginning of the year, Ive been receiving message after message and the lesson I’ve learned … I need to worry about my damn self. Ive been doing the friend thing, the being there for everybody thing, the check on my friends thing, the accountability partner thing… then I realized nobody ask me to be those things. I took it upon myself, to to be and do what I would want someone else to be and do for me. I’ve been drained of all my energy because I’ve been trying to keep up with all the different personalities I know. This season of my life, is for me. To check in with myself, to motivate myself, to cultivate myself, to show up for my damn self, and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing.

I’m sure if my friends need my input, they will certainly ask for it. However I am done volunteering myself, especially when I haven’t been getting my level energy back from those who I invest in.

What chapter in your life are you entering or exiting?

Tristan Jonez.

Birthday Love

So this year, January 23, I turned 34. I am officially the age my mother was when she had me, also, I was 17 when my mother died, so with this birthday I have lived half my life without my mother, so this was a special birthday, but also an awkwardly weird birthday too. As a way to alleviate the sadness factor, I asked all of my social media platforms, which is made up of folks that I actually (mostly) know in real life to send birthday cards. I received a whopping twenty two cards. I also received gifts! A book, an active journal, a Basquiat bookmark, a deck of self reflection/self help/self care cards and a set of AirPods. Can you believe it?

I damn sure can’t, and I just counted! Its crazy that, so many people love me enough to go out, look for a card, personalize it, add something special to the card, get stamps, take it to the post office or put it in a mailbox. I am that loved, that folks thought of me, to do that for me. Its so surreal that people would reach out to me in such a forgotten form, snail mail. As I get older, I am choosing to focus on the people who care about me, the people who show they care about me, instead of focusing on those who choose to not be present.

Once again, I thank you guys so very much for heeding my birthday call, and showing up so magically!

Tristan J.

Dear Diary …

I’m tired of being me, but I don’t want to be anyone else, Ever.

I get tired of folks seeking and using my light, my energy for themselves. Depleting, taking all my gifts, and failing to replenish. Some humans just know how to drain the Life out of you. Sidenote; I don’t think I’ve been kind to myself lately. I KNOW I need a beach, I know I need to feel the sand between my fingers, on my body and I have yet to give my soul what its’ seeking.

How often do you retreat to give yourself what you need? Do you listen to your body/soul when it says Stop? Go? Rest?

Jonez.

Body Me Up

First, Chicago was beautiful today! Oh my gosh. It’s been too long since I’ve been able to truly feel the sun on my face. This was the perfect ending to the weekend!

I was able to visit the Market for Makers today, and boy, I think I’ve found a few new body care companies, bonus two out of the three I supported today are black owned. There is just something about seeing folks who look like you, selling something that is amazingly good for my skin. I’m already headed to being a super fan. I’ll admit it, I’m a lover of anything vanilla scented, and Southern Girl Skincare had just what I needed. So of course the first product I touched was Suga Cookie. Upon my initial deep smell, I was transported back to a cabin, where I was sitting in front of the first, drinking my hot chocolate and eating a snickerdoodle cookie. It was magnificent without being too sugary sweet. I knew for sure I just had to have it, plus it was the VERY last one, Score! Because I could not choose between well butter my cocoa and Oh Scarlett, I just threw both in the bag! Cue Fab’s, “Just throw it in the bag”

There had been a crowd around Mocha Tree Organics, every single time I had tried to get a peek at the body scrubs, but finally (!!) the crowd had dissipated. I made a run for the table before anyone could notice. So many options of scrubs all pleasantly scented, it was hard to choose, so naturally I tested the first item my hand touched, Basil Bay Rum. Such an earthy but extremely moisturizing scent/product, I paired my experience with Jasmine Rose because where’s there’s jasmine, there’s me! A small amount truly goes a long way, after my much needed hand scrub, I could not stop touching my hands and relishing in how soft it was. For the rest of the day, I could do nothing more than caress my throughly moisturized hands!

But don’t take my word, check out Mochatreeorganics.com and Southerngirlskin.com

You’re Welcomed, Tristan Jonez.

SelfieCare

Does your version of #Selfcare include self pleasure?

Because I am so used to putting everyone before my own needs, I just started attempting to carve out time for self care. As much I hate staying home on my days off, this past Monday I did just that. I stayed in bed, drank tea, caught up on my television shows, and pleasured myself. I was debating on if I should be that open with you guys but why not? Self Pleasure and Self Care should go hand in hand, whether its at the beginning of the day or the end. I learned my body early on, so I know what doesn’t work for me, and I know what does. Although I am single, I do not feel the need to run into the arms of a man, to fulfill my sexual needs, so I went out and purchased a device, that I named Tom. Funny story, as opened as I am with sex, and sexual gratification I was so shy to purchase a toy in store, so I chickened out and utilized amazon. (Laugh)

My version of #SelfCare doesn’t always include self pleasure, most times my “Me” Time is just me relaxing with my thoughts. However I don’t rule it out if I body needs a release. From dildos to Vibrators the choices are endless, just set the mood, and Enjoy!

Tristan Jonez

SideNote: The Reviews of Adult Devices on Amazon are throughly well written, which surprised the hell out of me.

Changes.

#TBT / #FBF

I was going through a few of my old photos from as far as ten years ago and it definitely made me smile to see how much I’ve changed over the years.

When I look at this girl, I see such a carefree, spirited person who had the World at her feet. I was still learning about myself and what I needed from myself. This Tristan, lived life as if the next day wasn’t promised.

This Tristan J is a woman who knows when to be soft, and allow someone else to take the lead, but she’s independent enough to make whatever moves are necessary for survival, she’ll be victorious. She’s still a spirited opinionated woman who won’t hesitate to let you know when you’ve fuked up but she’ll help pick you back up.
When you look at your old photos, what do you see?

Jonez baby!