The Vibe I got from a guy I was recently (semi) dating, is I am asking for way too much! For just a date, I have way too many requirements! For a relationship, I have way too many expectations. I do believe that I used to have expectations, which is always open for discussion, but my expectations are things that a man should practice as his daily habits.
A man should be communicating, never do I want 24hrs to go by and there is no communication. I totally get that we live in a busy world, and our schedules may not always be in sync but that’s no excuse for a lack of communication. How easy is it for a text, or a voice message? If I am always the one making the moves, the plans, then why am I with you, if I’m going to be the man in this situation? I shouldn’t be opening my own doors, but I realize this a ‘independent woman world’ so cool I’ll handle that but once again I shouldn’t have to. Without asking, you should be making me feel like the most amazing woman on the planet, just because I am with you. What happened to that? Focusing in on the one you are with, really getting to know them, their likes and dislikes? What happened to taking our time?
For a second I thought I was asking too much from the guys I was dating but when I really think about all that I have to offer, and bring to the table, I’m not asking for nearly enough.
The way a significant other captures your photo determines how much they care for you.
Like always everything I write is an discussion, but this (!) I strongly believe in. Granted I enjoy taking photos and capturing you in the best light that I possibly can, but thats my job as your girl. I was dating a man, on one of our dates we went to the Museum, he wanted me to take his photos at different stops on the tour I created, so of course I obliged. When I asked him to return the favor and take one … the photo was horrid! It was if he had just snapped the photo without checking to see if I was centered, smiling, eyes opened.. just click. Photo Taken.
Needless to say, this is a relationship that did not work out. I mean why would it, if he didn’t care to take the time to take a subpar photo, then how can he maintain a relationship. Some folks will say that Im bugged out but this logic but its very true. And don’t get me started on the men who won’t even take the photo!
Now normally I am not a second chance giver but lately I think I have a different view on it. We are all human and fall short of the Glory of God (Whomever you may believe in), if he/she can forgive us, forget about it and give another chance who am I not to do the same?
So, my question to you, Can you trust someone who has previously hurt you? I believe you can. A phrase that came to mind as soon as I answered, “A tiger cannot change his stripes” but we are not animals, although we sometimes have the tendency to act as such. We are a sophisticated society, who have the ability to use or minds to build cities, so it is not possible that we can not change for the better? I do not want to be the same person I was last week, last year, I want to continuously do and be better.
In life and love we definitely fall short of the person we would like to be, and to the people we’d like to be with. I want to believe that If I met the love of my life, but didn’t recognize, I would work on myself so when I got the opportunity to reconnect with that person I would take full advantage. Sometimes we need a door slammed in our face to get the point.
I was called Perfect. I was called Perfection.
Obviously I am far from perfect, but in someone’s eyes Im ‘It’, the epitome of what we all (most) aspire to be; perfect. I definitely took pleasure in his words. It feels good when a friend, lover, stranger, human being (whatever title) can acknowledge you or your talent! It’s an amazing thing, when someone can see way passed your flaws and still see you for who you are. Amazing things happen when you open yourself up to folks, as scary as that can be. What’s equally amazing is what can happen when you have someone in your corner rooting for you. That isn’t shy about letting you know they are cheering you on from the sidelines.
KK I appreciate our conversation last night, it definitely has my creative juices flowing this early morning. Continue to try, and everything will work in your favor. I promise.
You have got to allow folks to do WHATEVER makes them happy. Seriously! If being with that man makes them happy, let it. If being alone makes them happy, let it. If being a complete asshole makes them happy, let it. Listen don’t stop anyone from being who they are and doing what they want to do. You might consider their choices a mistake, let it happen. Life has gotten better for me since coming to that realization.
Whatever you want to do I am all the way cool with it. Now, will I be friends with you, only if your happiness doesn’t interfere with my own. If what you are doing or being doesn’t calm my spirit then I can’t rock with you. Because I am going to respect whatever decisions you make, and I would expect the same courtesy from you. Too many times do we want folks to allow us room to do as we please, but we don’t extend the same courtesy to others, keep that in mind when being and doing.
I’m maturing quite nicely. There are times that I want to lash out on the people that have wronged me, but lately I’ve been turning the other cheek. And for some I’ve even reached out to them. We are all human beings, and continue to make mistakes, I am no exception. I know that I don’t have any pride when it comes to reaching out to folks, there are folks out here that are extremely good people. I am willing to overlook some shadiness, and move forward. Do I need them? Not necessarily, I know I can go on living my life and be just fine. But I want to be more than just fine, there are folks that I want to be friends with, that the friendship that we’ve created has had meaning. So if I have to be the bigger person and say ‘hello’ first I am okay with that.
In life, some things are worth putting your pride to the side. Have you been the bigger person recently? Let’s Chat!