I do believe we some (most) times forget that we are the prize. We are the ones to be pursued, cherished, adored! You, above all else, have to know your value. How can you show someone how you should be treated if you aren’t treating yourself as such. Folks learn from action!
I once found myself not being myself because in my mind, this is a “good guy” and I have to fit into whatever image he sees of me. I don’t want to loose this man’s interest cuz then I’m back to square one, and who wants to start all over? But I can’t settle, too many close calls to settling, that I’m not going to start that now. I’m the prize, and I have to treat myself as such. It’s no need to advertise what I bring to the “table”, as the man that’s looking for me will be able to realize my potential!
The Vibe I got from a guy I was recently (semi) dating, is I am asking for way too much! For just a date, I have way too many requirements! For a relationship, I have way too many expectations. I do believe that I used to have expectations, which is always open for discussion, but my expectations are things that a man should practice as his daily habits.
A man should be communicating, never do I want 24hrs to go by and there is no communication. I totally get that we live in a busy world, and our schedules may not always be in sync but that’s no excuse for a lack of communication. How easy is it for a text, or a voice message? If I am always the one making the moves, the plans, then why am I with you, if I’m going to be the man in this situation? I shouldn’t be opening my own doors, but I realize this a ‘independent woman world’ so cool I’ll handle that but once again I shouldn’t have to. Without asking, you should be making me feel like the most amazing woman on the planet, just because I am with you. What happened to that? Focusing in on the one you are with, really getting to know them, their likes and dislikes? What happened to taking our time?
For a second I thought I was asking too much from the guys I was dating but when I really think about all that I have to offer, and bring to the table, I’m not asking for nearly enough.
I’m maturing quite nicely. There are times that I want to lash out on the people that have wronged me, but lately I’ve been turning the other cheek. And for some I’ve even reached out to them. We are all human beings, and continue to make mistakes, I am no exception. I know that I don’t have any pride when it comes to reaching out to folks, there are folks out here that are extremely good people. I am willing to overlook some shadiness, and move forward. Do I need them? Not necessarily, I know I can go on living my life and be just fine. But I want to be more than just fine, there are folks that I want to be friends with, that the friendship that we’ve created has had meaning. So if I have to be the bigger person and say ‘hello’ first I am okay with that.
In life, some things are worth putting your pride to the side. Have you been the bigger person recently? Let’s Chat!
Playing Devil’s Advocate, I think fathers of older children, don’t try to make an effort as they believe It will not make a difference. That we feel how we feel, and we’ve accepted them as disappointing members of our life. I strongly disagree! Even though I wouldn’t call my father a deadbeat, however I don’t feel like my father was an active participant in my upbringing. If I was to be frank with my father, he would state that my mother kept me away from him, but I would counter with, what about when I was the one reaching out? At some point in our lives, we have to accept the roles that we played. Understand? Even though I am an adult, I only have one parent, so I’m counting on my father to be there for the ending of my life, as he wasn’t really there for the beginning.
Its kinda funny, when my mother was alive, she would say I don’t defend her enough when my father was talking trash, then when I would see my father he would say the same ish. I’m sure there were things my mother could’ve told me about my dad, but she didn’t. She knew that was my guy, regardless of the moments my father missed out on. I try every single day, not to be this bitter woman because of my father. I try to express myself to him but the truth hurts especially when you can still make changes and choose not to.