Luv U.

As much as we may want the very best for our friends. As much as we may want nothing but greatness for them, we cannot be willing to work harder for it than them. Trust, I know that shit sucks but you’ll kill yourself trying to obtain greatness on behalf of someone else. I’ll continue to be there for my friends, I’ll continue to be a listening ear if necessary but I will not longer shoulder their issues. I will no longer accept their problems as my own, looking for solutions and alternatives. No. I can’t. I’ve tasted the sweet taste of happiness, it’s taken me a while to get here but NOW, that I’m here I can’t let anyone threaten that peace.

To my friends, I love you. Sincerely. I want you to learn who you are, trust in yourself and know you deserve the very best from another human being. Trust that if s/he isn’t willing to offer their best, they aren’t willing to compromise to see you happy then Be prepared to move forward without them. Know that it’s healthy to be alone, and it’s necessary to carve time out to place yourself first.

Love yourself.

Tristan J {AKA} Tiffany, Your Friend.

Self-Sabo.

Low Key (High Key) I think I’m sabotaging my dating life by entertaining men who couldn’t possibly be good for me. Men who couldn’t give me half of what I am looking for, attracted to me, with the gift of gab, that’s who gets my attention. Ugh. Men who I know don’t deserve my attention, somehow captures it and when they eventually disappoint me, I’m hesitant to cut them off. Double Ugh. I’m sadden to know I’m bringing these horrid habits to a new city. Since I’m aware of the poor choices I am making, I am scaling back a bit from dating.

Don’t worry I’m still going to date but how about we try dating with purpose. Although I loathe writing a long list of what I am seeking in a guy, but maybe that’s exactly what I should be doing. I should have a clear understanding, but flexible, vision of what I’m looking for in an partner. God so help me, if I get carried away, and have a list of fifty thousand requirements. So to be sure I don’t get to carried away once I write down my ‘list’ I’ll post it. I know I know, scary right? And super super personal, but you guys are worth knowing all the intimate details of my life, since I already over share my shit.

Tristan Jonez

FYI – Wish me Luck! XOXO

Decipher Tales

I want people to mean what they say. I thought your word meant Your bond? When did that change? At what point did we just say what was convenient? Convenient for that moment in time? I get a migraine trying to decipher what I should believe and what I should question. Questioning everything a person/people say is fucking tiring. And folks, I’m tired.

If you tell me, I want to be with you, I’m believing that’s gospel. I’m not thinking that you want to be with me, and everyone else. Lately I’m finding folks want me to be everything to them while they give me the left over they have from being everything to everyone else. What makes you think I want a part time love affair? Nothing, absolutely nothing about me, gives that impression.

I’ve stopped trying to understand potential love interests, I just ride the wave until it’s over.

Tristan Jonez

Prize Money

I do believe we some (most) times forget that we are the prize. We are the ones to be pursued, cherished, adored! You, above all else, have to know your value. How can you show someone how you should be treated if you aren’t treating yourself as such. Folks learn from action!

I once found myself not being myself because in my mind, this is a “good guy” and I have to fit into whatever image he sees of me. I don’t want to loose this man’s interest cuz then I’m back to square one, and who wants to start all over? But I can’t settle, too many close calls to settling, that I’m not going to start that now. I’m the prize, and I have to treat myself as such. It’s no need to advertise what I bring to the “table”, as the man that’s looking for me will be able to realize my potential!

Jonez

The Table.

The Vibe I got from a guy I was recently (semi) dating, is I am asking for way too much! For just a date, I have way too many requirements! For a relationship, I have way too many expectations. I do believe that I used to have expectations, which is always open for discussion, but my expectations are things that a man should practice as his daily habits.

A man should be communicating, never do I want 24hrs to go by and there is no communication. I totally get that we live in a busy world, and our schedules may not always be in sync but that’s no excuse for a lack of communication. How easy is it for a text, or a voice message? If I am always the one making the moves, the plans, then why am I with you, if I’m going to be the man in this situation? I shouldn’t be opening my own doors, but I realize this a ‘independent woman world’ so cool I’ll handle that but once again I shouldn’t have to. Without asking, you should be making me feel like the most amazing woman on the planet, just because I am with you. What happened to that? Focusing in on the one you are with, really getting to know them, their likes and dislikes? What happened to taking our time?

For a second I thought I was asking too much from the guys I was dating but when I really think about all that I have to offer, and bring to the table, I’m not asking for nearly enough.

Tristan Jonez.

Mature X2

I’m maturing quite nicely. There are times that I want to lash out on the people that have wronged me, but lately I’ve been turning the other cheek. And for some I’ve even reached out to them. We are all human beings, and continue to make mistakes, I am no exception. I know that I don’t have any pride when it comes to reaching out to folks, there are folks out here that are extremely good people. I am willing to overlook some shadiness, and move forward. Do I need them? Not necessarily, I know I can go on living my life and be just fine. But I want to be more than just fine, there are folks that I want to be friends with, that the friendship that we’ve created has had meaning. So if I have to be the bigger person and say ‘hello’ first I am okay with that.

In life, some things are worth putting your pride to the side. Have you been the bigger person recently? Let’s Chat!

Tristan J.

Too Late?

Playing Devil’s Advocate, I think fathers of older children, don’t try to make an effort as they believe It will not make a difference. That we feel how we feel, and we’ve accepted them as disappointing members of our life. I strongly disagree! Even though I wouldn’t call my father a deadbeat, however I don’t feel like my father was an active participant in my upbringing. If I was to be frank with my father, he would state that my mother kept me away from him, but I would counter with, what about when I was the one reaching out? At some point in our lives, we have to accept the roles that we played. Understand? Even though I am an adult, I only have one parent, so I’m counting on my father to be there for the ending of my life, as he wasn’t really there for the beginning.

Its kinda funny, when my mother was alive, she would say I don’t defend her enough when my father was talking trash, then when I would see my father he would say the same ish. I’m sure there were things my mother could’ve told me about my dad, but she didn’t. She knew that was my guy, regardless of the moments my father missed out on. I try every single day, not to be this bitter woman because of my father. I try to express myself to him but the truth hurts especially when you can still make changes and choose not to.

Tristan J.