Lessons

For the past few weeks, Ive stopped to take an inventory of how I interact with people, and how they in turn interact with me. Nothing I do, is ever because I am looking for something in return from others. NEVER! I am always my friends biggest cheerleader, biggest supporter, because I know they out here grinding to make their dreams come true, so why wouldn’t I support them? I am not always able to support their businesses with monetary gains but I’ll plug and plug on social media. My audience might not be large, but its powerful and I am consistent.

However, I am tired of giving and giving, and never really seeing those SAME folks, going hard for me. Supporting me. Assisting with promoting me on social media. Hell, just a kind word or greeting. Truly be interested in what’s going on with me. I had a ‘friend’ who I haven’t spoken to in months, hit me up to promote her business … girl, Fuck you and that business. Of course, I didn’t say that, I just ignored her request but It was utterly ridiculous. Like Boo, Oh you remember me now?

I say this to say, Its a miracle to not turn into a bitter bitty but you can’t let the way other folks behave cause you to wilt. Don’t let people turn you into someone you aren’t. I know it gets annoying but keep it pushing, and keep searching until you find your tribe!

Tristan Jones.

Dear Diary …

Recently I was asked to be a contributor for a publication which caters to a no bs approach to living a chill life. I haven’t said yes, I’m still debating what I have to offer this publication. Before I started writing this, I had to ask myself, if I didn’t jump at the chance to reach a bigger audience because I genuinely don’t have the time or if I’m questioning if I’m good enough. Most likely it’s the latter, self doubt it such a strange thing. I know I’m a good writer, and I know other people feel the same way about my writing but having to actually put it out there for strangers to read … am I good enough for that?

To calm myself, I usually remember reading Kimora Lee Simmons book, Fabulousity, where she writes, “Believe in those who believe in you.” So that usually how I calm those wicked thoughts in my head. It’s funny how you get older and question everything in life, but as a younger adult, I was beyond fearless. Slowly but surely I’m seeking to get back to ‘that’ place, but it starts with pushing myself beyond my comfort zone.

Here goes nothing …

Tristan J

Taste of Chicago

So much food, EVERYWHERE.

After years of wanting to go, wishing I could go, trying to set my schedule so I could go, I’ve finally made it to Taste of Chicago and they didn’t disappoint! I know, I had to have read all about the ins and out of “The Taste” as it’s affectionately known but I really didn’t have any expectations as to the food variety. I was surprised with Mexican, African, Jamaican, more Mexican and of course Two different varieties of Pizza. Although I opted to stay away from The dough, the smell was delicious enough to change my mind.

Day One was HOT! I met up with my fly sister, Shakila, copped some food tickets, and took a survey of our selection. Did I say it was hot? Cuz it was. My confession of never having Harold’s led us straight there and OMG. Juicy, tender, flavorful chicken. And yes!, I got the mild sauce!

After some prime shots, because hello! The sun was giving us this Glow, it was time for sweets. The stifling heat called for funnel cakes with ice cream, Italian and Mexican iceys.

Tristan Jonez

FYI Its called a Taste of Chicago because you can get a ‘taste’ of the food, ( a small but lightly filling portion) or a full portion. Genius!

Reward Reward

With so few that truly defines what it means to be a friend, should we reward those who get it right? Now hear me out, I don’t think I should “pay” you to be my friend but if I’m out and about is it acceptable to purchase something for my friend? Personally my friendship in return is the reward for you completing your duties as “friend”. While I think gifts should be reserved for birthdays and holidays, you should always show your appreciation for a good friend. But don’t be confused with good friend behavior. ITS NOT THE SAME!

Anyone can be a good friend, once. It’s the consistency that creates a balanced friendship. I shouldn’t wonder if your going to be there when it’s needed. Loyalty shouldn’t be questioned. And if I find myself questioning your loyalty then what use are you as a friend?

Tristan J.

Lazy/Dumb

Story Time.

I have a coworker who I know plays dumb so that she doesn’t have to do much of anything. Most of the time, No all of the time I ignore her. I refuse to waste my time, dealing with her nonsense. So last night work was extremely busy, if you know your job description, there’s no need for you to wait around for someone to advise you on what you should be doing. Just do it. But nope! This “lady” just complains. So in the midst of work being super busy, she’s asked to do something by my other smart working coworker, she then says ” I don’t really want to do it, but if I absolutely have to I will.” I couldn’t help myself, I asked well what do you want to do? This female, states, nothing really, just complain. Well chick, we ALL know that you can do that so very well! Hell I’ve never met someone who can complain as thoroughly as you, so kudos!

Laziness will forever annoy my inner and outer being. Especially since I’ve never been lazy when it pertains to someone else. I’m most definitely lazy when it comes to me, and that’s a habit I am working on breaking. When working in an office setting, its best when you keep your emotions in check, if these folks don’t matter then don’t mind them.

Jonez.

Mature X2

I’m maturing quite nicely. There are times that I want to lash out on the people that have wronged me, but lately I’ve been turning the other cheek. And for some I’ve even reached out to them. We are all human beings, and continue to make mistakes, I am no exception. I know that I don’t have any pride when it comes to reaching out to folks, there are folks out here that are extremely good people. I am willing to overlook some shadiness, and move forward. Do I need them? Not necessarily, I know I can go on living my life and be just fine. But I want to be more than just fine, there are folks that I want to be friends with, that the friendship that we’ve created has had meaning. So if I have to be the bigger person and say ‘hello’ first I am okay with that.

In life, some things are worth putting your pride to the side. Have you been the bigger person recently? Let’s Chat!

Tristan J.

Take this L

Think for yourself.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been friends with folks, or thought I was friends with folks, and they switch up. Since I spend the majority of my time at work, thats where most of my interactions take place. I know I have to stop using the word, ‘friends’, with these people but its my go to word. These people are NOT my friends, they are just people whom I like well enough to pass the time with while at work. To be fair, there are a handful, five, of people who are genuine human beings, but the rest, nope.

I am cordial to EVERYONE! Even if you are not someone who I deal with, or like personally, I will still greet you. Now if I greet you and you fail to respond, your done. I do not need to kiss anyone’s ass to make them like me, I love me and thats more than enough. I have my moments where I can be petty but I don’t feel the need to bring that side out unless you need a reality check about who I am.

I can be cool with you and your friend not be cool with me. Thats ok. Its none of my concern, the friendship you have with them over there. If you have no issue with me, and I none with you, you can still Kiki with me. Its not causing no static with that other friend. Get to know me for yourself! Your friend could just be a hater, cuz Im doing my thing, staying in my own lane, while trying to branch into others. So Eff your friend, and matter fact Eff you too.

Im one of the coolest chicks you’d ever meet. You’re replaceable, I’m NOT!

Tristan Jonez.