Care Less/Careless

Although I was not married at the time, I had an affair.

My partner and I was on the outs, arguments daily, and just in a state of unhappiness. We were nearing the end of our relationship but was still making an ‘effort’ to be together. We had put in time, and was trying to get back to the place where we was extremely happy with one another. Something just wasn’t clicking! I had booked a trip to Chicago, as I was secretly planning on moving there, and had two interviews scheduled. During my visit to the Windy City, I went to a local lounge, for grown folks, and meet an older gentleman. During the rest of my trip, we were together often. I returned back to Chicago three more times, to check out the scenery there and to get to know this gentleman better.

I was entertaining this gentleman while I knew I had a boyfriend back in New York. Although this was wrong I did not feel remorse for my actions. Even though I was not intimate with this gentleman, I would later find out that my beau was not being as faithful as he made me believe.

T. Jonez

Act Two

Why do men wait until you no longer care, to act right? As an adult, I think I am over the games that folks play so I have no interest in participating in them. So I do let it be known that I’m feeling them, I am not super aggressive, I would rather let a man take it to that next step. I don’t feel like I need to chase you, nope. All I have to do is let you know how I feel, and you either take it from there or be like nah T, I’m just not interested in you. I can appreciate any man that tells me, straight up, that they aren’t interested.

Its funny cuz I can be feeing you until I’m not. I really think men be having this spidey sense cuz the second I’m like this dude is a dub, they want to come with the dinner date and flowers. Then get upset with me when I’m not receptive to any of that shit, cuz dude it’s too late. I’m good on you! In most cases, when I’m chatting with someone, its because they have hit ME up, if you wasn’t ready, then why you bothered? And I’m going to be sitting around wondering why they aren’t acting right.. Nah I’ll be already unto the next.

Tristan J.

Loving on me.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

February 14th is my second favorite day, my birthday comes second to none. I love all the over-the-top displays of affection, today just feels brighter. I am single this year but that doesn’t stop my love fest, I just love a lil harder on my friends, my woes.

My Dream evening for tonight, would be seafood from Clawdaddy’s, Champagne, and HBO’S Insecure, the complete season 1, then Love Jones. I promise I will do a complete write up of Love Jones, because as a kid I didn’t understand it, but as an adult, who has love and lost, I get it now!

So please, Enjoy tonight. Whether your in love, or loving on yourself, Have an amazing Valentine’s Day.

Tristan Jonez.

The Perfect Kast

Yesterday, I came across the Podcast, “The Perfect Kast” after they liked one of my photos on Instagram. I listened to episode 31:Black in Love, which was their Valentine’s Day podcast, and it was pleasantly entertaining. The host; Benji the prophet and J Leaux made listening, sort of an interactive experience for me. I found myself talking back to them, as if I was a part of the conversation. I laughed throughout, I cursed them out as well. The two host did not sensor themselves when chatting about interactions between men and women. They both took ownership of their asshole-ishness, as well as their sensitive nature when it came up. I respect that they held no punches, none. They expressed themselves throughly, and at times the two hosts, Benji and J Leaux, battled each other about what was the correct course of action to the question that was being answered. I definitely had lots to say during the entire podcast. I enjoyed that they reached out and had two females, Jazzy the Jewel and Miss Nikki, bring their prospective. Although I believe men are most times stupid in their behavior and logic it was refreshing to hear what two blk men had to say about love and relationships.
Luckily for me, listening to this episode gave me a lot of inspiration for content for my own site. Don’t take my word for it, go check out The Perfect Kast on Instagram, iTunes and Sound Cloud… Download it now!

Tristan Jonez.

No More Single

Am I allowed to say, out loud, that I’m tired of being single? That I’m super over not having a husband? I know I just jumped over having a boyfriend, but it’s true I am tired of being single. Single is boring! Now I know why folks be cuffing’ for the winter, although I’m not looking for a warm body, having someone who I can actually communicate with. I can’t tell you how many days I look at my phone for someone to speak to, and I end up opening an app to play a game. There’s no one I want to speak to, there was one guy but thats’ a dub.

I didn’t realize I’ve been single for a year, this month. I have survived one whole year without being with the man I thought was going to be my last. I have made it! And I do not regret my decision to separate one bit. Granted I’m going through my bs of being single, for right now, but my guy is lost getting to me. I think its all the traveling I do, he’s not sure what city he should go to so he can sweep me off my feet. (Cute Right?)

Jonez.

Better.

He told me I deserved better but he wasn’t ready to give me better. We are always willing to applaud someone for their honesty but hold your applause. He knew from jump what I was/am looking for so for him to pursue anything other than friendship is a sucka move. I have no problem growing with the man I’m with but I’m not going to wait for you to get ur shit together. Why would I?

This man isn’t ready now, so when will he be? And what is he doing to prepare himself for a life with me? Will he still be sowing his oats with others? The fact that I have all these unanswered questions let me know I have to keep it moving. I’m not going to be with half a man just to say I have one. Nope! That’s for the birds.

Would you stay or walk away?

Tristan Jonez

Glass of Water?

I’m all for any female being aggressive and going after a man that she’s interested in but at what point does it become thirsty? At what point is it like, okay allow him to be a participant in this interaction. After he knows that your interested are you going to ask him out on a date as well? Then pay for the meal?

You’ve let him know that you are down to get to know him and see where this can lead. Will you let him now take the reigns from here? I do believe it’s acceptable to be thirsty over the person you are with BUT give it time. I don’t want you to be thirsty after exchanging numbers. I want you to let him put in work, let him ask you out. I don’t want to see you chilling with him at 2am in his car, or in his crib. Yes you are able to do whatever you’d like, but if you are looking for more than to smash make him work for it.

Making him work for it, is not the same as playing hard to get. Don’t play. Games annoy me personally, but let him lead, let him put in a percentage so that you can match it. See what he’s about before you throw all your eggs in this one man basket.

I just want you to keep your options as opened as they can be.

Tristan.