“Without active communication, the relationship is dead”
Y’all, I’m tired.
I’m so tired, I am nearing exhaustion. Have y’all ever tried to communicate for two people, yourself and another? I’m so tired of trying to decipher what someone actually means and deciphering it incorrectly. I want folks to start being upfront with what they want. Speak up! If you want A, don’t say you’re okay with B, when that’s not the truth. I know I don’t have the patience of a saint, but I do my best to allow folks to communicate at the pace they are comfortable with, but when it starts to affect me, then we have a problem.
If you are a grown up it should be a requirement that you know how to affectively communicate before you can be classified as an adult. Communication is not just about getting your point across, you have to know how to LISTEN, and put what’s been said into action. If you’re not receiving what’s being said, then what’s the point? Folks get tired of talking until they are blue in the face. I’m not going to allow folks to drain me, cuz they can’t seem to know how to actively listen!
Low Key (High Key) I think I’m sabotaging my dating life by entertaining men who couldn’t possibly be good for me. Men who couldn’t give me half of what I am looking for, attracted to me, with the gift of gab, that’s who gets my attention. Ugh. Men who I know don’t deserve my attention, somehow captures it and when they eventually disappoint me, I’m hesitant to cut them off. Double Ugh. I’m sadden to know I’m bringing these horrid habits to a new city. Since I’m aware of the poor choices I am making, I am scaling back a bit from dating.
Don’t worry I’m still going to date but how about we try dating with purpose. Although I loathe writing a long list of what I am seeking in a guy, but maybe that’s exactly what I should be doing. I should have a clear understanding, but flexible, vision of what I’m looking for in an partner. God so help me, if I get carried away, and have a list of fifty thousand requirements. So to be sure I don’t get to carried away once I write down my ‘list’ I’ll post it. I know I know, scary right? And super super personal, but you guys are worth knowing all the intimate details of my life, since I already over share my shit.
FYI – Wish me Luck! XOXO
I know I talk about dating all the time, well at least I think about it often enough, but this time I think I am done with dating. It’s exhausting. Seriously, I do not think I have the energy it takes to really meet anyone. Talk to anyone, actually get to know any damn one. Ugh. No Thank you.
Sure I tell you guys that you should keep hope alive, and push pass how you may be feeling at the currently moment, because there is always hope to be found. But blah! All I can tell you guys, Is good damn luck!
First I will delete all the dating apps I have, they are useless. However I did have success, and haven’t met many amazing men. To keep the balance, in the interim of deleting all apps I will be opened to meeting folk IF they approached me. I wouldn’t be so quick to turn them away. Although I am not willing to change my number, I will be blocking every Ex that still reaches out. No need to continue to give people access to me, when that relationship has ended. I’m sure I will make other changes as the weeks carry on, but this will do for now.
So I posted Q&A yesterday to the site as well as to Instagram, and to my surprise the response was if a person deems you important, or the relationship important, they will make the time to communicate with you. But on the flip side, you have to be willing to be prepared to make sacrifices, since they may not always be able to make the time, especially if their job is that demanding.
Its all in the effort! I am willing to make the sacrifice of not being able to speak to you as frequently as I would like If I believe you are making the effort to find the time to speak to me. I believe its vice versa as well. My love would be willing to create the time, if he has to, so that he can communicate with me. And I don’t always expect a phone call, if you can send a text message with just a heart, OMG, I would be exceedingly satisfied. We always say its the small things, and it truly is.
You’re talking to a man who has a demanding job, so he doesn’t communicate as frequently as you would like, as of right now, it’s not an issue but you know if things continue they will become a problem.
Question, Do you advise him of your feelings?
I think communication is always a good thing. So being upfront should be a part of your daily routine, however it will be all in the way you tell him. You are aware he has a demanding job, so he may not have easy access to his cellular phone. Even though you may be attached to your phone, he may not feel the same about his device as you do yours. If this is really a problem for you, you have to let him know, otherwise it will slowly annoy you that he doesn’t communicate as much as you’d like. Your gentleman may feel as though he IS communicating more than adequantely enough with you, and thus isn’t reaching out more during the day. Just talk to the man, find the middle ground.
Yesterday, I came across the Podcast, “The Perfect Kast” after they liked one of my photos on Instagram. I listened to episode 31:Black in Love, which was their Valentine’s Day podcast, and it was pleasantly entertaining. The host; Benji the prophet and J Leaux made listening, sort of an interactive experience for me. I found myself talking back to them, as if I was a part of the conversation. I laughed throughout, I cursed them out as well. The two host did not sensor themselves when chatting about interactions between men and women. They both took ownership of their asshole-ishness, as well as their sensitive nature when it came up. I respect that they held no punches, none. They expressed themselves throughly, and at times the two hosts, Benji and J Leaux, battled each other about what was the correct course of action to the question that was being answered. I definitely had lots to say during the entire podcast. I enjoyed that they reached out and had two females, Jazzy the Jewel and Miss Nikki, bring their prospective. Although I believe men are most times stupid in their behavior and logic it was refreshing to hear what two blk men had to say about love and relationships.
Luckily for me, listening to this episode gave me a lot of inspiration for content for my own site. Don’t take my word for it, go check out The Perfect Kast on Instagram, iTunes and Sound Cloud… Download it now!