After Five years

After five years, I think I am okay. I was with my ex boyfriend from 25 to 30. Its extremely weird that we are no longer together. Like this is the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I just knew that we would be engaged, headed for marriage now, but God laughed in my face, then yelled Plot Twist. This was the first relationship I honestly looked in, and pictured what it would be like in the future, and I knew I could possibly be happy, but I didn’t feel it. I didn’t want to spend the next 30 years faking it.

I want to genuinely be happy with the man that I marry. I wouldn’t call it a waste, as it was a lesson learned, through and through. I learned that I need to listen, I need to respect the person that I am in a relationship with, I also learned that I don’t need to dim my light for any man, that I am intelligent and if a man loves me he will value my opinion. I just cant dumb myself down for a relationship. I tried it will make you miserable ladies. This was the first New Years that we did not spend together, and I’m good.

You only have one life to live, so I encourage you to live your BEST life.

 

Tristan Jonez.

Funny Thing

As I get older, I find myself thinking about all sorts of things… mostly things dealing with love and life. I’m a bit hung up on soulmates, If I have one, and If I do, where is he? I’ve been thinking what if a soulmate has nothing to do with another human, what if your soul is connected to a place? If my destiny wasn’t connected to another person It wouldn’t surprise me since I’m fully connected to Chicago.

I wish I could adequately explain how Chicago makes me feel. For a second put aside everything you’ve ever heard about the city. When I land It feels like home, in spite of  itself it feels safe to me. Chicago welcomes me home with opened arms, its like receiving a warm cup of tea after being outside in the cold for too long. In high school, I just KNEW I had to visit Chicago, there was some force beyond myself pulling me there. I still feel that pull, and I make sure to fly to Chicago every single chance I get. Chicago grounds me in a way that no other place has been able to do. Philadelphia has come close, but I always feel something is missing when I stay there for too long.

Have you ever been connected to a place?

Jonez.

 

 

 

Talent V. Hustle

Hustle beats Talent when Talent doesn’t hustle. -Unknown

Although I believe I am super talented, talent will not get me where I want alone. So I have to do what I know how, as well make shit up as I go along. I’m good with adapting to my environment. Life has thrown me a few curve balls, so I just do what needs to be done. Don’t get me wrong, I have many low days, where I could care less about getting out the bed BUT If I don’t hustle I wont eat. I was recently sick with the flu, and work was the furthest thing from my mind. However I did it cuz I had to, but don’t worry I’m home taking care of myself.

I can hustle with the best of ’em but I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t put out my best content… I’ve been coasting lately. My personal life has distracted me these past few weeks, but I’ve settled those situations. I’m 100% focus on what I need to do for myself and my brand. Thank you for rocking with me!

Tristan.

 

How to.

If I’m ever in need of inspiration, How to make it in America, is my go to show! It is the epitome of hustling to follow your dream, and making mistakes every single step of the way. But that’s what I love about the show. It validates that your dreams are real, and you better hustle like hell to make them come true, and even when you hustle, you can still fail. The best thing about the show, Is Cam and Ben have one another. Granted in your real life you may be going at this alone, but I encourage you to find a squad/tribe that you can unpack/vent to. I’m out here trying to make the best of what I have, but Im still looking and meeting folks that will be my squad.

Do I expect everyone I meet to be apart of my vision… No. But I do expect to have those interactions either be a lesson or a blessing, either way it will be beneficial for me. I definitely out here hustling for the vision I see for myself, cuz when its my time to go, this chick will have NO REGRETS!

What do you do when your inspiration is low? How do/did you find your squad?

 

Tristan J.

Fun & Games

It’s all fun and games until I no longer answer the phone. Until those text messages start going unanswered. Until you’ve been blocked and you’re wondering why its’ been months since I’ve made an effort. So recently I texted a few folks that I was done with them but I wished them the very best. A few inquired as to why, but the majority accepted their fate. For the one of the two that inquired why, he laughed it off when I explained my reasoning, he even stated he would be ‘better’… it’s been a few days and better has yet to appear.  The other was irritated that I had come to this conclusion, and tried to turn the table on me. Shaming me, stating that “One day I’m with him, then the next I am against him.” I flipped my shit. People will try to turn ish back on your when you finally decide to call them out on their ish! I’ve been ‘down’ for this guy since I was 19! I can’t even remember why I allow him to continue to get through when he text but that was then and this is now. There will never be a day where he will get that type of loyalty from me EVER!

Once you lose me as a friend, that means you didn’t take care of your part as a friend to me. I hold on to folks despite myself, in spite of your behavior. At what point do I say enough is enough? After I’ve been so used, that I’m now a bitter ole bitty, that pushes everyone away? Nah Kid, I’d rather ass-kick you out of my World.

Tristan.

Uncivilize Me

I think it’s the most mature action, to decide with a level head that a relationship is not working for you, and to follow through with the steps to end it. I wish life wasn’t messy and when you stopped loving someone the feelings they have for you also stopped. However there would be no fun in that. (Side-Eye)

It takes a lot of wrong to make me want to stop trying. As long as you are willing I will be willing to do whatever is needed to make the relationship work. I’m def not a quitter but I’m learning that not everything needs to be saved. Some things you are REQUIRED to let die. I was with my ex -boyfriend for five years, and I always say after three we should’ve stayed broken up. I even moved to another city! And yet I came back to be with that man. Everything happens for a reason though, with my coming back to New York I began working for a company, with amazing benefits… so a win.

As I matured I’ve learned how to express myself better, my communication has greatly improved. But there are times where I do not want to be civilized! I just want to ‘break up’ by cursing you out, being petty and acting like an adolescent. Why should I be the mature one?

Tristan J.

ChristmasamtsirhC

This message is being written on December 16.

The idea of Christmas has greatly changed from what is was as a child. It used to be a representation of family, and love. Now unfortunately its just another day on the calendar. I’m assuming when I have a family of my own, the meaning of Christmas will once again change.

However I want to wish you and your family, a Very Happy Christmas Season. I’m thankful I have you guys to share in my highs and lows. Love you to life.

 

Tristan Jonez.

Not Mr. Nice Guy

I have an annoying habit of seeing the best in everyone. People know this about me and take advantage of me. It’s like I’m the punching bag of most folks ‘cuz as a fool I just take it. I’ve grown tired of that lifestyle as I know there are folks out there who will treat me the way I’d like to be treated.
Folks will only do what you allow, and since I’ve allowed It for so long, this is the Tristan they have gotten accustomed to. So when I’m telling them that their behavior is no longer acceptable they look as if I’ve grown seven heads. As much as I hate cutting folks off, my inner peace is shattered dealing with ‘friends’ who don’t have the same type of love for me, as I do them.
Find your tribe, and love on them wholeheartedly!
Tristan

RR

Raleigh Ritchie is Life to me.

Every. Single. Album. Is an amazing body of work!! No matter what you are currently going through, he will make you feel like you are the most important jewel he’s come across. Timeless music is what’s created when he blesses the mic. It’s like my heart recognizes him, his voice, and his musical style. Visually his music comes alive. Sometimes I wonder who is creating videos for the songs that are played on the radio, but I look forward to Raleigh Ritchie, never mind that he’s a good looking lad.

My favorite song will forever be Bloodsport. The chorus is “Loving you is a blood sport, Fighting in a love war.” Loving me personally isn’t a blood sport but I do think that I’m like a mountain; I can be overwhelming to some people. However just as with a mountain or anything that gives you reason to pause, you just have to take it one step at a time.

Please take a listen to his new music, Mind The Gap, it’s phenomenal. Seriously to date, his best body of work, and everything he releases is top shelf shit. Listen to it and tell me what’s your favorite song… My favorite absolute two are Sicko and Unicron Love, Motions comes in right after the two. It’s my goal to see him perform, in someone’s festival, in someone’s country.

You down?

 

Tristan J.

 

 

Sfter (Softer)

As a woman I’m doing my best to work on being softer. I’ve become used to doing things for myself but I never want to make a man feel like I don’t need him. I do, I need him for many things and I want to make sure I don’t become so hard. Just because I’ve had to open my own doors, I need to give the man a chance to open my door. I’m not a fan of dumbing myself down, and I’m not asking you to do that either, What I am asking of you, is to give the man a try.

Although I haven’t met any in a while, I’ve been assured that gentlemen still exist so give them a chance to reveal themselves. Give a man an opportunity to woo and wow you. As much as we’ve had to depend on ourselves, don’t let what’s happened in the past create a problem for what could happen in the future. Prince Charming is definitely out there, just give him a moment to declare his status. Don’t we always say Actions speak Louder.

Be Patient

 

Tristan.

Art/Str 

Love = Street Art.

I’ve always had this obsession with street art, I love the time and energy that goes into creating something to be viewed by the World. Maybe its because I’m no Picasso, I can truly appreciate the hard work that goes into creating. From one artist to another, you guys are appreciated. I imagine, in my head, the type of art I could create with a canvas and a brush. One day I will take my paintings from my head to reality but for now, I’ll adore the works of others.

Enjoy.

 

Tristan J.

Wasted

If I have one word of advice for men and women alike, stop wasting folks time. If you KNOW you aren’t interested, stop acting like you are. It doesn’t matter how much someone may be feeling you, keep it pushing if you do not feel the same way. There’s nothing worse than wasted time as I can never get it back. When a relationship/dating don’t work out as I thought it would because you weren’t really feeling me, there’s no remote that I can use to rewind the time spent on you. I’ll never be able to redistribute that time and energy into something or someone else.

You are not hurting my feelings by declining my number. You are doing me a favor by declining to waste my time. I may not appreciate you then but I will eventually. I’m learning to be open in my emotions with the opposite sex; I’m a fan of being cut and dry. It doesn’t make me thirsty to be like ‘I’m interested, what’s up?” I’m not taking anything away, but let’s just put the cards on the table, I’m not trying to be your friend, I have enough of those. I want more. I’d rather you tell me at month one versus month seven that you aren’t interested in more.

 

Tristan.