A break was needed. I took myself off of social media because it was tooo much going on in our crazy World, to try to be on here writing about things that really had no impact. I was indulging more in myself, in the things that make me happy, and pouring more energy into self care. Before I could make sure you was okay, I had to look inward, and check on myself. I do hope you are all putting yourselves first, because if your cup is empty you are of no good to the rest of us!

I’m back enough to try and be as consistent as I need to be. So Hey, and thank you for sticking around. You are loved … Deeply.

Trstn Jnz

Listen Up!

There’s no bigger pet peeve of mine than someone telling me about me! Nobody knows me better than I know myself. Of course, someone looking from the outside can observe and notice certain things, but you’ll never be able to tell me my wants or my needs. Im honest with myself about what I need from myself and from others, no denials or delusions over here.

Please keep in mind, opinions are not facts. So when folks get into their minds that you need to hear their opinions, Feel free to listen but take it with a grain of salt. Make sure your actions align with the vision you have for you life.

Tristan Jonez.


I don’t take care of myself as much as I need to or as much as I should. Because I’m there for others, I don’t have or make the time for myself. As a result, I’m miserable. I keep myself occupied with work so I’m too tired to evaluate my needs, too tired to care. Obviously this is a severely destructive path, and if I don’t start to take care of myself, I’ll be lying in a ditch somewhere. I think I was expecting someone to come along and save me from myself but this isn’t a fairy tale and no one will rescue me. I gotta save my damn self!

This week, I’m on vacation from work so I couldn’t hide from myself. My body was seriously malfunctioning, places were aching, my mind couldn’t settle itself and my body was desperately alerting me that it was about to crash. Although I definitely have responsibilities this week, I canceled everything to focus on me. To really put me first, to indulge in me, to allow my body the space to rest, to stretch and to do anything else she wanted to. I always feel like I deserve more than what I’m receiving in my dating life, but if I’m not treating my OWN self like I deserve more, why would anyone else?

Tristan Jonez.


Does your version of #Selfcare include self pleasure?

Because I am so used to putting everyone before my own needs, I just started attempting to carve out time for self care. As much I hate staying home on my days off, this past Monday I did just that. I stayed in bed, drank tea, caught up on my television shows, and pleasured myself. I was debating on if I should be that open with you guys but why not? Self Pleasure and Self Care should go hand in hand, whether its at the beginning of the day or the end. I learned my body early on, so I know what doesn’t work for me, and I know what does. Although I am single, I do not feel the need to run into the arms of a man, to fulfill my sexual needs, so I went out and purchased a device, that I named Tom. Funny story, as opened as I am with sex, and sexual gratification I was so shy to purchase a toy in store, so I chickened out and utilized amazon. (Laugh)

My version of #SelfCare doesn’t always include self pleasure, most times my “Me” Time is just me relaxing with my thoughts. However I don’t rule it out if I body needs a release. From dildos to Vibrators the choices are endless, just set the mood, and Enjoy!

Tristan Jonez

SideNote: The Reviews of Adult Devices on Amazon are throughly well written, which surprised the hell out of me.

Stimulate My Soul.

I can’t remember the last time I made a decision for my own benefit. Every decision I’ve made in the past year or so has been for the benefit of another person. I don’t like telling folks no, as I don’t like to let anyone down. I don’t like not being there for someone else, even if it is at the cost of myself. I’ve been sick to my stomach, because I’ve been so overwhelmed with a combination of things but yet, I was still trying to put others need before my own.

One day recently  I was calling everyone I knew because I needed help.  I was super sick, and I wasn’t sure If I could get to my destination on my own. So I reached out to several different people, but I couldn’t get an answer from anyone. Granted, folks have the right to be busy, but it was a wake up call. I have to be in full account for how I treat myself, an empty cup isn’t of use to anyone. My cup is currently empty but I working on replenishing it but for myself this time.

What do you do to refuel? How do you put yourself first?