Pretzels?

Guess who’s back at work?

Of Course, Me. I don’t know if its because I haven’t been flying in over 290 days, but I am always so tired. I find myself, no my body screaming for the bed as soon as the last passenger steps off the aircraft. However, even with the federal mask mandate in place, its a pleasure to fly. Although I did have one flight, Vegas to Chicago, that made me reconsider being a flight attendant. Then, after a few drinks, I remembered I like not knowing the price of a airplane ticket, and Italy looks great on me. I’ve been flight leader twice, and with all that’s currently going on in life, thats the position thats for me. Until I find my groove being back in the cabin, I think I’ll continue being flight lead.

With being off for so many days, It is taking me a bit of time to reclaim myself with my own little quirks, but I’m taking it trip by trip. Not that I do anyway, I haven’t filled my board with mad trips, so I can slowly find what works for me now. When my body needs to rest, I need to make sure I have the days off to accommodate her.

Tristan J.

Tribe

“You cant force anyone into being anything other than themselves.”

Today, Well yesterday, I had a conversation with my sibling, and later on, playing back the conversation, I realized I cant make anyone do anything! Not that I thought I could. But you know how you believe that if you do more of what you want in return, that they would get it, and be what’s wanted, will be returned? We KNOW it doesn’t work that way, I know it doesn’t but I was selfish in that regard. A person will only do what they want, AND if they aren’t doing that thing … then they don’t want to.

Thats why finding your tribe is such an important act of love. Finding likeminded people, who genuinely show love, or are genuinely interested in what the things you are, makes living your best life so worth it! Its like finding the most supportive bestie, who only wants to see you succeed. Who only wants to pour into you, as you pour into them. If you have a tribe, consider yourself blessed! If you are still searching for your tribe, keep looking babe, they are out there!

Happy Hunting!

Tristan Jonez

day by day

Y’all know I have some of the greatest set of childhood best friends. The Best!

So of course we have a group chat, and although we don’t talk every single day, when we do chat, its the funniest thing in life! Today, Ash posted a link to IG, where there’s a skit of a ‘marching band’, just three members, the drum major, a flag girl and the cymbals. It wasn’t us, but it was. Theres no videos, and very few photos of us when we were younger, and it always makes me sad. It really is true, you never know the effect of a moment UNTIL its a memory.

So I implore you all, take as many photos as you can. I know it’s not easy to be in the moment, to be in the present, and try to capture what’s going on, but figure out a way.

Tristan Jonez.

When You

Cheers Again to 2021, May this year be filled with Everything Good.

But I had a ‘shower thought’ minus the shower. I’m on the couch, about to lay down for the evening, nevermind it’s 605est, and it just hit me. As SOON as you decide, truly decide, what you want, how you want, and what you aren’t going to allow, The Universe first test you, then Make it All Happen. In this moment, I feel the Universe conspiring to make the wants happen.

I’ve been concerned about my future for the past few weeks, but in just a moment, my concerns are no more. No matter what happens, I will be more than alright.

Tristan J.

Dear Blk Men

I know you might be scared to assist a Blk woman when she is being harassed by a black man, but please imagine how scared she might be in that situation. More often than not, I deal with my share of harassing experiences, today was just an intense version. So the blue line in Chicago, is just full of all the wrong shit, and usually avoid it all the time. However It was the closest train, so this black man, loudly, told me how he would ‘fuck the shit out of me’ and ‘how he know I would like it’ It caught me so off guard, I verbally said, “What?!” to which he went on to say more of the same. And even though, on the outside, I may have looked cool, I was scared af, and paranoid. Was he going to follow me on the train, harass me more there, possibly try to get physical with me? To be in a crowd of people, and wonder, will anyone help me, if it came to it? Would I be the next person online, trying to fight an attacker, with everyone around, only to record it?

As much as I love being a Black Woman, Sometimes I have trouble navigating the space I am in, in regards to other Black Men. My body, EVEN WHEN FULLY DRESSED, is sexualized! I’ve normalized traveling with pepper spray, and a taser when I can, but I would love to experience this World, without fearing if the man next to me is going to Hurt me.

Jonez.

Also, All the situations Ive ever had in life, that was sexually harassing, was with a Black Man.

For Free

I either obsess about something, or I care absolutely nothing about it. Most times there’s no in between, a bad habit for sure but I am working on trying to find a balance. Lately a comment that a man made a few months ago, has been living in my head rent free, which is annoying. Especially because its not a true statement, but that’s how I am. Just replaying it, and shorty doesn’t deserve any of my braincells. I did, however, really analyze what he wrote, discussed it with my therapist, so I’m not harping on its’ validity. Mostly just the fact he thought he had the right to say anything at all. Audacity is definitely on sale for free in 2020.

All that to say, What folks say, isn’t always what it is. They can only speak from their very limited vantage point. So stop letting what people say, live in your head rent free.

Jonez.

The photograph

There’s something about Robert Glasper that just leave me speechless.

His curation of music, of sounds, of leaving my fucking heart beating out of my chest, has to be an art form. IT IS AN ART FORM. What an incredible talent. I think I could listen to him forever and never tire. I used to think it was the movie, that made the movie but nah. It is the music that ties everything together. ITs the music that helps you, when you close your eyes, and remember what the scene made you feel. It’s the music that carries you away, literally and figuratively. How to create such a body of work, that all the music blends and flows, and does whatever the music is supposed to do.

Have you watched the movie? Listened to the soundtrack? Please do both!

Tristan Jonez.

Just.

I think we’ve talked about this plenty times before but only now am I feeling the conviction of it. Whatever ideas are on your mind, are on your heart, you need to follow thru. Just do it, and do it now. Figure out how to make it work, whatever it is. If that means, moving forward on a smaller scale, or a little at a time, make it happen. I know Life has been crazy, extra crazy this year but that is the reason why everything you have been thinking of pursuing should be pursued! EVERYTHING!

For Example, Y’all know I live for the museum even if I’ve been there a million times, I don’t care, I’ll still go to see the same and it’ll be like my first time. Well a few weeks ago, I flew in from Baltimore, landing in Chicago on a Monday morning, the same day the new exhibit from Bisa Butler at The Art Institute of Chicago debut. I told myself I would go on Tuesday, but that morning I decided to stay in the bed, instead of going to the museum by Tuesday Night Chicago had issued a closing of all the museums due to the rising numbers of Covid-19.

I say all that to say, Do it now!

Tristan Jonez.

What will you be doing now?

Last Christmas

Just finished watching “Last Christmas” and guess what? … It made me cry! I promise I am becoming such a sap when it comes to romantic comedies, but in my defense, the tears fell on their own. Have you seen the movie? Its Christmas themed throughly, with family issues thrown in, as well as the main character attempting to redefine her self, which leads her to meeting someone who helps her gain clarity on who she is now. I think that sums it up BUT go watch!

Also, I REALLY REALLY want to visit London! SO BAD! I just KNOW I’d love it, and prolly wouldn’t want to come ‘home’. Last time I felt this way, it was for Chicago, and I moved here and just never left! (WE Don’t discuss Dallas …. EVER?)

T. Jonez

Closure

Closure is a farce! I hate to be the one to tell you, but it truly doesn’t exist. There will be nothing a person could ever really say, that will cause you to ‘understand’ where they were coming from, especially when their actions caused you harm. I promise you, its best to move forward, broke heart and all. Today, I had the opportunity to chat the last man I dated. He wanted to confirmation of his character as his ex girlfriend had opened his eyes to behavior that he didn’t realize he possess. At first I was hesitant, cuz what’s the point of this exercise. However I agreed with her analyst of him, and added a few things of my own.

What was weird to me, was he only regurgitated the negative I said, I let him know, in the version of him I met, he was a good guy but he was selfish, and failed to properly communicate, when it mattered most. He went on to tell me, he was doing some soul searching, trying to understand why he was the way he was. I told him, he has unresolved issues with his parents, which continues to impact the romantic relationships he chooses to involve himself in.

So people, stop writing these long ass paragraphs, trying to get a statement, or an emotion from the other person. When the feeling is longer felt, move forward. It’ll never be easy but it’ll be worth it!

Tristan J.

Anniversary!

Today is my website’s four year anniversary! Y’all. SHIT! I’ve been writing and putting all my business on front street for four years?! November 8, 2016, I started on this journey. And y’all know I be taking all the breaks in the World, to live life, to do nothing, to party & bullshit, but I always find myself back here. WOW! All the crazy things, I’ve done and been through, live within the ‘pages’ of my diary.

Y’all know a few weeks ago, when shorty left that comment I was tempted to delete this website. But one person’s opinion of me shouldn’t matter, cuz I know who I am. I know what my life is like, and its a damn good one! I close my eyes, and know I am living my life to the absolute fullest, and its a dream come true. Forget the traveling, but to have the freedoms I have, to not be held back by anything!

Sigh. Thank you again for supporting. For reading my crazy adventures. For being there. You mean more to me than my words could EVER describe! Thank you!

Tristan Jonez.

Lost / love.

It’s weird to meet the Love of your life and Soulmate at 17 but it happened to me. Whats even weirder, to only be able to experience them for three years. Ali Sidney. Man, I can’t even describe how much I miss him. Wish I could see him, talk to him, just be in his presence. Today is his birthday, well it would’ve been. 35. Thirty Five years. For him to have died at twenty two, is such a tragedy in itself. A tragedy I don’t think I’ve fully healed from even with the help of therapists, In the back of my mind, I still miss him.

Believe me when I tell you, Life is Short. Love on those who you love. If you are feeling the pressures of society, of life, PLEASE find the courage to speak to someone who can help you. Suicide is NEVER the answer, especially when the problems are temporary ones.

Tristan J.