Art Q (STL)

So since we’ve all been pretty much quarantined, there’s so much art that I haven’t been able to view. Although I am in isolation now, when I was flying, I was truly keeping my eye out for artwork in the airports I had to fly to and through. Today, we are going to take a spin in STL aka St. Louis Lambert International Airport, which happens to be one of my favorite cities. Artist Mike Schwartz, brought to the STL airport via The Lambert Art and Culture Program, their mission to elevate the visitor experience and uplift regional pride […] Schwartz wanting to create a personalized baby gift for the upcoming birth of his grandson, taught himself to make hand-embroidered squares for a baby quit. Upon the completion of two more quilts for two more grandsons, Schwartz realized he’d be able to extend his range of what he could be able to do with framing the embroidered squares since rust, and being laundered wouldn’t be a concern.

Upon looking at the artwork, what formed shapes, images do you see?

Jonez.

Zoom Partyyy

Last Night, I hosted a quarantine Happy hour. I posted it on my social media outlets, and to be honest, I wasn’t really sure who, If anyone, was going to show up. Well… imagine my surprise when my childhood friends came thru for me. I’ll be the first to admit I was nervous, it such a hard thing to put yourself out there, not knowing what the outcome will be. I had such a great time, I am so glad I thought about doing this, I am even glader (I know, not a word) that they came to happy hour with me. Such a great time, of laughs, and being able to be together, although we couldn’t actually be together.

Jonez.

Also Shout out to my boo, for coming thru to a happy hour and not knowing who the hell would be there, or what the topics would be about. Thank you for taking a leap, and joining, you are truly appreciated. Forever!

I am tired of always telling folks how they should show up for me, in certain situations. I am tired of being the example I would like reflected back at me. Tired of being there for people when they need it, but not receiving the same support. I know I cant control the way in which someone chooses to support me, BUT support me. Sometimes I think my purpose in life is to be in service of others, making sure they are okay, checking in on them, etc, but every once in a while, I’d like someone to say “Thanks for checking on me, truthfully, how are you doing?” Being the ‘strong’ one is annoying, cuz folks thinks you really have your shit together and you don’t. Not even close but because you don’t have that ‘rock’ you’re left to pick up the pieces of your life.

Thank God for counseling.

Find your tribe, and love on them hard. I’m still seeking mine.

Jonez.

Mothers Day

Its been sixteen years since my mother had died, so Mother’s Day doesn’t hit as it would if I had a parent. Grieving is a weird thing, because it doesn’t move us the same. I find myself being less sad in general, but there are times, I am so sadden, its hard to think of anything else than her not being here. With Mother’s Day upon us, its just a regular day. It wasn’t until about two years ago, that I even acknowledged the day, and wished it to others.

So I am going to take the time to wish everyone who is a mother, a Happy Mother’s Day. To those of us, still trying to navigate what it means to live life without having a mother, continue to be whatever you need. Please remember to lean on those who love you, love on them a little harder today! I Love You, Always

Jonez.

Bosch

Do y’all have the pleasure of watching Bosch? Its a series that is shown on Amazon Prime, and I am so in love with the characters … well most of them. There are some that I cant stand for the life of me. The main character, Bosch, is a man you’ll root for. NO SPOILERS but he definitely tip toes on a very fine line of right and wrong. Harry Bosch is an old school cop who, upon his hunches or part of the evidence, believes you’re guilty, will stop at nothing to secure the guilty verdict. I’m currently on season five but I need to slow down my consumption because we were only blessed with seven seasons. And season seven has yet to begin filming, and with the Coronavirus, who knows if it will be completed.

So remember, Bosch, Six Seasons, Amazon Prime, GO WATCH NOW!

Jonez.

Hitch

The Hopeless Romantic in me loves the movie Hitch, I know we’ve discussed this before but its currently showing on Netflix, and I seriously cannot get enough of it. At this very moment I am watching, between my writing, I know I know I should be focusing on what I am doing but I get a pass cuz … its Hitch! What attracts me to the movie, besides the location, is Hitch, and his love interest, Sara. Both, are so guarded, so scared to move forward with each other because of what they have dealt with in the past, but yet, they still inch closer and closer to one another.

I’m Sorry, I didn’t even ask you guys, if you’ve seen Hitch? Yes? Don’t you just love it? And If you haven’t, I AM Judging you… Why haven’t you seen it yet? Today! GO NOW!

Tristan J.

More than …

I’ll be the first to admit, I have tried, and done everything to show a man, I was the one for him. I was always myself, but I made sure to be what he needed, I was the one he could trust, I was the one who’d be there for him, I was the one who he could count on … and in all that, I still wasn’t the one he chose. It took some time, but I do NOT internalize this, I don’t make it, woe is me at all. Shorty just isn’t the one for me but Ive learned that I can’t overextend myself to fit the needs of others. Especially when those same courtesies are not being extended to me.

In theory I checked off damn there every box he had in terms of what he WANTED but he wasn’t ready. Those boxes, were just for me, to sate me, to make me feel as if, alright girl, I fit all the things he says he’s looking for, so why doesn’t he want to take it further, make a commitment? Cuz he’s not looking for one, could be he isn’t ready for one, but whatever it is, you have to leave him/meet him where he is. Start being honest with yourself about what it is YOU want, and move with those intentions in mind.

In all this, ladies please remember, you are more than enough!

Jonez

Dear Diary…

I have to forgive myself for all the times my actions failed to show how deeply I valued myself. March & April were weird months for me, and I refuse to allow May to continue on in the same manner. So I am, taking the time to cry to create healthier routines. Crazy enough, a few folks have permanently exited my life, I’m still processing how I feel about that. However I did tell myself I wasn’t going to solely focus on those who are gone, they don’t deserve any of my energy.

For weeks, I thought of writing but I just couldn’t bring myself to do so. I was just, ‘being’ but now, here I am.

Bare with me as I attempt to get my life together.

Jonez.

This Chapter …

Is called, “Worry ‘Bout Yo’ Self!”

Since the beginning of the year, Ive been receiving message after message and the lesson I’ve learned … I need to worry about my damn self. Ive been doing the friend thing, the being there for everybody thing, the check on my friends thing, the accountability partner thing… then I realized nobody ask me to be those things. I took it upon myself, to to be and do what I would want someone else to be and do for me. I’ve been drained of all my energy because I’ve been trying to keep up with all the different personalities I know. This season of my life, is for me. To check in with myself, to motivate myself, to cultivate myself, to show up for my damn self, and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing.

I’m sure if my friends need my input, they will certainly ask for it. However I am done volunteering myself, especially when I haven’t been getting my level energy back from those who I invest in.

What chapter in your life are you entering or exiting?

Tristan Jonez.

According to Wale…

“I don’t really know a damn thing about this love thing but I’m tryna try.”

In the past, telling me you are willing to try this ‘love thing’ may have excited me. Wow! Here we have a man, he’s willing to try but nah, I need specifics. The goal is to organically fall in love, I’m definitely for that, but how you do plan to accomplish this goal? Have you gone to therapy to not only acknowledge your past traumas but to work on finding root causes. How do you show love, how do you want love shown to you? What does being vulnerable look like to you? How comfortable are you with expressing yourself? Your emotions? How can you positively express your disappointments? Your grievances?

I’ve been short changing myself by only accepting the bare minimum from a man as I wouldn’t want to push him too much. I want him to open up when he’s ready, all in due time, create a safe space where he can feel comfortable enough to want to express himself. However isn’t that where we go wrong? Not having those conversations early on so we know what to expect. OMG! The dreaded expectation word! As much as we want to steer from creating expectations we HAVE to. You and your partner need a flexible guide to follow so miscommunications are kept to a minimum.

Elle Varner Pour Me (thinking bout u) ft Wale

Tristan Jonez

Black Tings.

Although Black History Month is over, we are still all about black tings on this site cuz I IS BLACK! Technically, I am blackity black, pretty much black af, you know, BLACK! So the other day, white folk tried it, they had the audacity to leave one star rating on The honeypot company’s trust pilot page. Why do you ask… well they were BIG mad, the founder Beatrice Dixon, expressed how vital it was, that her success could pave the way for [future] black girls [enterprenuers], in the Target ad shot for Black & Women’s history month. Because the racist comments, white women were leaving, black twitter went into action, calling on all of us to combat the negativity with the positivity of hashtag Black Girl Magic. Now, I want to be sure to highlight, it was not only black folk who were writing glowing reviews, Unracist white women and men were also fighting the good fight!

What funny about this Uproar, People who had not heard of the company, was made very aware of the products they create, which is woman’s feminine products. First of All, the company’s tagline, “Made by Humans with vaginas, for women with vaginas.” I personally use the products, and I love them! I call them my power pad. I’ve been looking into an organic, natural product for my vagina which includes pads/tampons cuz she deserves the fucking best! Those same white folk, who were writing those reviews could’ve probably benefited from the very brand they was dissin’. Idiots! So the next time you’re in Target, feel free to stop in the personal care aisle, and grab some panty liners, wipes or sprays.

Thank you for coming to my episode of Black Tings.

Tristan Jonez