I Give Good…

I give good friend.

Yes, you read that correctly I give really good friend. I consider myself the quintessential friend, that quality grade A friend, and I’m not just tooting my own horn. If asked, anyone I’ve ever been a friend to, would 100% wholeheartedly agree. Unfortunately I can’t say many folks have been to me what I am to them.

As an adult it can be harder to ‘make’ friends. Its frowned upon to just walk up to folks requesting their contact information cuz they seem fly and you just KNOW y’all would totally mesh. If you COULD do that and it would be received well, then I would say, “Hey! I’m Tristan, and based on how you’re dressed I think you’re fly and I’m always in need of fly friends, let’s exchange numbers and do brunch soon.” I’m working on making that a norm of how us women are able to befriend someone else.

I know its so easy to get caught up in our own lives, but take the time out and be there for the friend that’s always been there for you. Try to appreciate them a lil more than you normally would today. Show them that their efforts do NOT go unnoticed because when they stop, you’ll noticed but it’ll be too late.



In conjunction with living a healthier lifestyle, I’m partaking in #SelfCareSunday. What is that you ask? Oh it’s just a day where you put yourself first. You cater to your own needs, whatever they may be. Today you are not allowed to do for others as you’d normally would, nope. This day is all about you. 

I don’t want to even hear the word selfish! You have a RIGHT to replenish your cup, after dealing with kids, work, traffic, and all the other shit in between you have to recharge. Regenerate those brain cells you killed being superwoman/superman. Men this is for you as well. Being the head of household, even if it’s a household of one, is hard work. I need you to power your battery pack to 100% for the upcoming week. 

Granted it’s called #SelfCareSunday my “Sundays” are Tuesdays since I’m needed at the workplace. I haven’t planned what I’m NOT going to do but I’m giving myself a rest. I’ve been doing the most cuz I have myself to depend on. Can’t pass the buck cuz there’s no one to pass it to, but it’s A Okay. I love fall, so I’m actually thinking of going to Van Corlandt park to capture the spirit of fall. 

What’s your plans for #SelfCareSunday? 


Cup of Chocolate 

Who trying to go to the #1 shoppe in New York, and possibly America, for Hot Chocolate?

I’m trying to go ASAP. Oh you want to know the name of this amazing place? Well If I tell you, do you promise to go and try it for yourself? I hope you said yes since I’m trusting you. Well my friend, the best place is Jacques Torres Chocolates.

Seriously hands down the best hot chocolate I’ve had the pleasure of tasting. It’s like they’ve decided to melt the entire chocolate bar, its rich, creamy and thick. The writing about it has me wanting to jump on the train and head to Houston Str. Some odd years ago, I was job hunting, and came across Jacques Torres, sadly they did not hire me, but I was hooked, its been my go to place ever since. When you visit, I recommend Houston Str. as they have a bigger space, but you are also able to watch them make the chocolate. (Hearts)

And for the men who NEVER know what date to plan, I got you covered, I will be posting how to make a trip to Jacques Torres work for date night. I know, you’re welcomed.



UK Babes

My Soul mate lives in the United Kingdom the only problem is I haven’t met him … Yet! Call me crazy but I honestly believe my man is living there wondering If I’m in America too. My logic may be a bit weird but my determining factor is the fact that I feel a connection to London. No I’ve never been BUT I know I’m going to love everything about it. The only exposure I have to UK is their television shows, which I adore by the way.

My explanation will make no sense to the non-believers. Sometimes I wonder If I’m tripping myself but I have to keep the faith. At the least If my soul mate doesn’t reside there, I know he’s out there, in these streets, waiting for me to pop up. In a few weeks I’m going to put my speculation to rest and have an adventure in London. Obviously I will document my experience with you guys, but don’t be surprised when you meet the “Love of my Life”.

What’s up Brov.


Are you OK?

As a black woman, I don’t think I’m asked that question enough. And not just asked, but asked with the purpose of being there if I actually answer honestly. As a black woman I have to be strong for everyone around me, including other black woman who choose to confide in me but who will be there for me? Who can I lean on, to do more than tell me to pray. Who do you turn to when you have no mother, and your dad doesn’t understand?

When is it acceptable to break all the way down? To have the responsibility be placed on everyone else equally? Sometimes I feel like I have to fend for myself, and If I want comfort I have to find it own my own. Thank God for counseling, but sometimes it isn’t enough. This human person who is hear listening to me has no  emotional connection to me, once the session is over, I’m right back to putting on that mask that I’ve learned to wear so well.

So Black Woman, Lets come together, ask your sister, friend, mother, aunt are they ok, and PLEASE be prepared to hear NO I’m not. Offer up more than a kind word about prayer, sometimes it’s great to listen and other times it good to offer up solutions and the way to know the difference of what’s needed is to ask, “What do you need from me? Or “How can I help?” I promise you, these small gestures of love make such a difference.


So No date today?

This is reason 264857542965 why I’m choosing to give dating a break. If you have no intentions of actually going out with me, then stop making these half assed plans. At bare minimum you ask me out you need a location and a time, as a bonus, on occasion I’m willing to meet you ‘there’. So you’re only responsible for picking a place, a time and picking up the bill, if it’s a first date especially. I’m not sure why, but this is proving to be a problem, my bare minimums are proving to be too much to adhere to. 

I was supposed to go on a date today. However I’m here in bed. I had to look at the calendar to check if today was Thursday, and go thru my phone like wait I thought I had something to do for today. It’s my last day off before returning back to work so I had no travel plans but imagine if I canceled so I could be available for this guy? Negative. I have to stop putting my hopes up at all for these men who clearly have no scruples. 

If he was interested then he would’ve made it happen. I shouldn’t be required to do all the leg work, it’s rather simple, you want to see me then make it happen. If you’re that busy, which I doubt, but if you are, then make the time if I’m a priority. 


Death by Cabbie

So recently I ventured out to Caliente Cab in the East Village as a suggestion from my niece who was raving about the guacamole. The service was pretty good, our waiter felt like he was my dad, and I was required to eat all of my food or else. I decided to skip drinks as I had shit to do the next morning.

Well honey, let me tell you, I ate a killer avocado! The effects were not immediate but when they came it was swift. It was looking for some type of revenge, I’m assuming it did not appreciate being taken from his friends in the kitchen to be placed on my table. Who the hell knows.

I’m not sure If I will be willing to go back to Caliente Cab as my go to Mexican eatery is Gonzalez Y Gonzalez. If I ever do go back I will be sure to stay the eff away from the avocados. I don’t even want them near my table.


FYI When given the bill, it comes with a postcard, I LOVE that touch from restaurants.