FYI Venting.

Can I complain for a bit?

I’m so sick of humans. Sick! I just want to meet people who value honesty. Who value communication! Omitting the full scope of what’s happening is lying! In my next life I really want to meet people who are open, upfront and direct. If we’re having an interaction why do I have to read between the fucking lines? Why can’t you just tell me the whole & full story? My gawd.

I thought I wasn’t asking for too much when I asked folks to properly communicate. However the joke is on me because apparently I’ve been asking for wayyyyyyyy too much. Leaving out bits, that I’m going to find out later is insulting to my intelligence. I thought the minimum in friendships was communication cuz If we aren’t chatting what are we doing? Fucking a.

People get on my goddamn nerves. Just cuz I don’t always speak on it, doesn’t mean I didn’t peep it babes.

Jonez.

Tragedy.

What tragedy or celebration warrants a phone call? What event has to happen for you to call your friend, fam or whomever. I KNOW we all generally text because it’s easier really but are phone calls obsolete? Although I don’t think I’m extra, I know my actions are sometimes seen as a rarity. I’m going to call for specific and special occasions. I’m going to send a card to commemorate the memory or event. At this point everyone in the World is so extremely busy, but when it comes to your friends, who do you make time for?

SideNote, I don’t do anything because I want it in return. My intentions and actions are always pure but It’s tiring to keep doing and doing and doing for others, and those same folks pay you dust.

Tristan J.

thirty7

I’m not sure if I had this conversation with y’all, or not but everything is about age. I’m not sure what thirty7 feels like, but I feel it. I don’t know if I’m just aware of my age, more now than I’ve ever been, or If society is having a time pointing out, I’m not in my twenties anymore. I honestly cant place it. Maybe it could very well be because I am watching ‘Being Mary Jane’ and its brought up questions in my own life, looking at someone else’s. I’ve never been in the school of comparing, the life I live is my own, and I have no envy for others. Plus I’m always genuinely happy for others, outwardly happy.

I remember when I was younger, thinking about where I would be at different ages, and my life really is more than what I could’ve imagined for myself. But now that I’m this big age, now what? Do I just continue to have experiences? Continue to explore? To think that I am the driver of this vehicle that is transporting me to my dreams. Or my adventures. I am thankful I’m not in a career that climbing up the corporate ladder is encouraged, because I have no interest in that. I do agree that I do need some semblance of balance in my World, and I am working on it.

Jonez.

Be Where?

For the past few weeks, I keep asking myself what do I want my Life to look like. What do I want it to consist of? And in all of the questions I ask myself, I also wonder If my Life looks exactly as I want it to look. I know that my life is a bit different from others because I don’t have a traditional job. I don’t have a 9-5, there’s more flexibility in my World, that others don’t have the pleasure of having, and I’m beyond grateful. I generally wake up happy everyday, without fail. So there’s no but .. its just is that what life is supposed to look like for me? Is there something else, something more or less that I should be doing? I’ve accepted there’s no ‘what am I supposed’ to be doing, its just doing. I do try to live a life that’s aligned with the things Id like to do, no matter what that looks like to others.

I would like to add, I want my life to require needing ballgowns, just occasionally.

Jonez.

Outside pt.1

Well babes, I have been outside, just a little. I’ve been on a mission to do more than just be in the house on my days off, plus I promised myself I would get fresh air everyday. Happy to report, that since making that affirmation to myself, I have indeed gone out everyday. Now I’m not always getting ‘dressed’ sometimes its a sweats and tee shirt kinda day but oh well … fresh air was had. I also haven’t been in the mood to watch television, so nothing new to chat about in that area but I have seen a few broadway shows, and a concert. The weather is unseasonably warm here in Chicago, but slowly, that fall breeze is breezing.

Not that you was worried, but I won’t leave you for super long periods of time anymore.

Jonez.

When You

Cheers Again to 2021, May this year be filled with Everything Good.

But I had a ‘shower thought’ minus the shower. I’m on the couch, about to lay down for the evening, nevermind it’s 605est, and it just hit me. As SOON as you decide, truly decide, what you want, how you want, and what you aren’t going to allow, The Universe first test you, then Make it All Happen. In this moment, I feel the Universe conspiring to make the wants happen.

I’ve been concerned about my future for the past few weeks, but in just a moment, my concerns are no more. No matter what happens, I will be more than alright.

Tristan J.

Warning.

I have accepted my writing fate at this time, because all I want to do is watch ‘television’ and write up my opinion, and then beg y’all to watch (indulge) with me. I KNOW sitting in front of a screen, and watching hours of television isn’t the smartest choice, but we’re ALL making poor decisions. Judge Yourself! (laughing)

Also, I’m single, so you would think I would stay from romantic comedies, and dramas, but Nope! That’s all I can watch. I’m actually getting the feels from being so wrapped up in the characters! I blame the holidays, who knows what my excuse will be after they’re over.

Let’s just Enjoy Now!

Jonez

One Thing.

There really should be something said for folks who are able to do as they please … without regard for ANYONE else. I used to be embarrassed when folks would say things like, “well you only have you to be responsible for”, or “You should be lucky you don’t have any kids”. Like it was a bad thing I didn’t have children, or was only responsible for myself, Listen! It’s not a negative at all, In this day and time, it’s a blessing.

Y’all better stop sitting around, wishing you had someone else’s life. Someone else’s responsibilities. I thank the stars above that my life doesn’t look like, what I THOUGHT I wanted. There’s such a light in being who you are. Such a weightlessness to truly walk as the person you are supposed to be. Does your life look better now than what you wanted?

Jonez

This Chapter …

Is called, “Worry ‘Bout Yo’ Self!”

Since the beginning of the year, Ive been receiving message after message and the lesson I’ve learned … I need to worry about my damn self. Ive been doing the friend thing, the being there for everybody thing, the check on my friends thing, the accountability partner thing… then I realized nobody ask me to be those things. I took it upon myself, to to be and do what I would want someone else to be and do for me. I’ve been drained of all my energy because I’ve been trying to keep up with all the different personalities I know. This season of my life, is for me. To check in with myself, to motivate myself, to cultivate myself, to show up for my damn self, and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing.

I’m sure if my friends need my input, they will certainly ask for it. However I am done volunteering myself, especially when I haven’t been getting my level energy back from those who I invest in.

What chapter in your life are you entering or exiting?

Tristan Jonez.

Black Tings.

Although Black History Month is over, we are still all about black tings on this site cuz I IS BLACK! Technically, I am blackity black, pretty much black af, you know, BLACK! So the other day, white folk tried it, they had the audacity to leave one star rating on The honeypot company’s trust pilot page. Why do you ask… well they were BIG mad, the founder Beatrice Dixon, expressed how vital it was, that her success could pave the way for [future] black girls [enterprenuers], in the Target ad shot for Black & Women’s history month. Because the racist comments, white women were leaving, black twitter went into action, calling on all of us to combat the negativity with the positivity of hashtag Black Girl Magic. Now, I want to be sure to highlight, it was not only black folk who were writing glowing reviews, Unracist white women and men were also fighting the good fight!

What funny about this Uproar, People who had not heard of the company, was made very aware of the products they create, which is woman’s feminine products. First of All, the company’s tagline, “Made by Humans with vaginas, for women with vaginas.” I personally use the products, and I love them! I call them my power pad. I’ve been looking into an organic, natural product for my vagina which includes pads/tampons cuz she deserves the fucking best! Those same white folk, who were writing those reviews could’ve probably benefited from the very brand they was dissin’. Idiots! So the next time you’re in Target, feel free to stop in the personal care aisle, and grab some panty liners, wipes or sprays.

Thank you for coming to my episode of Black Tings.

Tristan Jonez

First Loves.

Writers Edit: Article first published on Chillology.co

My forever love and first heartbreak is all wrapped in the same person, Lee Sidney*.

If you could imagine a person so perfect, it would be him. I was so very much in love with that man, he was the best friend you could ever want. A man who would go to bat for you, someone you’d want on your team fighting for you. A product of his environment, which wasn’t always the best, but you’d never know by speaking to him. A man of such substance and intelligence, that he could speak to anyone about anything. Lee could’ve been a scholar, a sports star, a scientist, he had the potential to be whatever in life he wanted. Unfortunately his life was cut short at twenty one, and thus my heart remains broken.

We had a meet-cute, obviously unplanned but destined. While I was visiting my twin brother who doubles as my cousin, we just happened to be driving to the store at the very same time Lee is running, shirtless, prepping for an upcoming track meet. I promise the World stopped spinning and he then became the center of my World. I was literally grounded, I could barely speak so he led the conversation once he got in the car and exchanged pleasantries with my twin. From that day on, we were inseparable. When Lee went to college, we stayed in touch but life happened, and he decided I shouldn’t have to ‘wait’ for him, I should go out and live life. Sigh. Three days of no sleep, not being able to eat, and just being miserable I finally stopped calling, and texting. It was clear he meant what he said, and I couldn’t change his mind.

Fast forward, a few years later, and by chance we reconnected during the holidays. Rekindling what we had, and remembering how well we fit together. Unfortunately, he was dealing with more emotionally than he let on and when he finally told me how serious things were, it was too late. My love, had committed suicide. It’s been over ten years since I’ve lost him, but I still remember him, I still cherish him … I still love him.

*Name have been changed.

Tristan Jonez.