Curby

I was called Perfect. I was called Perfection.

Obviously I am far from perfect, but in someone’s eyes Im ‘It’, the epitome of what we all (most) aspire to be; perfect. I definitely took pleasure in his words. It feels good when a friend, lover, stranger, human being (whatever title) can acknowledge you or your talent! It’s an amazing thing, when someone can see way passed your flaws and still see you for who you are. Amazing things happen when you open yourself up to folks, as scary as that can be. What’s equally amazing is what can happen when you have someone in your corner rooting for you. That isn’t shy about letting you know they are cheering you on from the sidelines.

KK I appreciate our conversation last night, it definitely has my creative juices flowing this early morning. Continue to try, and everything will work in your favor. I promise.

Jonez

Date X3

Are you obligated to tell the people you are dating about each other?

NOPE!

Unless you are in a relationship, you are not obligated to tell them about each other. This shouldn’t even be a question, honestly. If a man or woman wanted to be the only one then they would take the necessary steps to ensure that position. It makes me chuckle when I hear its in a ‘man’s nature’ to not be able to settle down, to HAVE to see multiple women, blah blah blah. Guess what? Eff that!

It’s funny because as I get older I want to settle down and get married BUT I am perfectly fine with dating (for now), why settle down with the first man who smiles at me? Nope, I will date as many folks as I’d like. If I am seeing two or three at the same time, well isn’t that what dating consists of? I used to be that girl, that would meet someone, like them, then focus only on them. Not anymore. Im going to give you whatever it is you are giving me. If you only have a few minutes a day for me, then thats what will be given to you. No more investing time in a person, if they are neglecting to do the same in return.

Tristan Jonez.

Soon, I promise

I wrote every single day in February. Sometimes I was able to kick out two and three topics for a single day. I was abundantly blessed with content that I was overflowing with words, and for that I’m grateful. Today is the seventh day of March and I have yet to write or post anything, to my readers I do apologize. I’ve just been living a little, taking some time off to do nothing, and everything. As much as it sucks that I haven’t been typing away at my computer keys, the break has been much needed. Inspiration was found, and will be given onto you all.

This might become a habit, but for now I am going to focus on doing what I do best… giving y’all my unsolicited opinion on all things relationship.

Tristan Jonez.

PS. A New post will be live on March 8. Thank you for sticking with me!

BodyonBody

I’ve always like the human body. I’ve admired the curves, the shape, the silhouette. I don’t think I’ve admired my body in all the ways that I needed to, but the body in all its many shapes, sizes and colors, I love.

Lately I’ve been thinking about creating and building a portfolio, and I would like to focus on the human body… The Naked Human body. In my mind, I know exactly how I want the photos to turn out, or at least the vibe of the photos. I want the naked body to be celebrated again, and because I have such an admiration, I believe I would be able to give life to the photos. Black and White is my absolute favorite so of course, that would be my go to, now I’m just missing the models.

This is my masterpiece of photo shoots, so I think I’m going to work my way up to it, and with time I’ll find the models who’ll trust me and my vision.

Would you like to model for me?

Jonez.

Opportunity to Waste

I’m a bit disappointed.

If a man says we are going to go at your own pace, he DOESN’T mean it. He’s only willing to go at ‘your’ pace if he feels as if its going at a pace he can accept. Most of the time, the pace will not match up, so there WILL be an issue. Don’t let him persuade you to do more than you’re willing to do, and don’t be in such a rush to go from single to taken.

So recently a guy that I dated last year reached out, explaining to me how he screwed up when we was dating initially and how he’d like the opportunity to start again. I ended things because I felt as if I was chasing him, that I was doing the most, and that our partnership wasn’t that of balance, amongst other things. So he came out the gate swinging, his communication skills had improved a billion times over, and he was making me feel secured.. but that was last week. This week, barely any communication, when asked he told me I wasn’t reaching out either. Like what?

Fellas, Stop starting habits if you know you aren’t going to keep them up! Don’t buy flowers every Saturday, cuz eventually I’ll get used to that. Don’t do anything if you aren’t willing to keep the shit up!

Be Consistent. Needless to say, that ‘relationship’ will not be revisited.

Jonez

Being/Doing

You have got to allow folks to do WHATEVER makes them happy. Seriously! If being with that man makes them happy, let it. If being alone makes them happy, let it. If being a complete asshole makes them happy, let it. Listen don’t stop anyone from being who they are and doing what they want to do. You might consider their choices a mistake, let it happen. Life has gotten better for me since coming to that realization.

Whatever you want to do I am all the way cool with it. Now, will I be friends with you, only if your happiness doesn’t interfere with my own. If what you are doing or being doesn’t calm my spirit then I can’t rock with you. Because I am going to respect whatever decisions you make, and I would expect the same courtesy from you. Too many times do we want folks to allow us room to do as we please, but we don’t extend the same courtesy to others, keep that in mind when being and doing.

Tristan Jonez.

Traffic

Be Careful who you choose to help. Some folks are only looking out for themselves, and they are willing to do or say anything to receive what they believe they should have. I have learned the hard way several times and yet it wasn’t until recently that I honestly learned my lesson.

I will put my needs above anyone else’s. I will placed myself first. If helping you does not benefit me, then my answer will be no. If attempting to make your life easier, will make mine harder by default, then the answer is no. I used to be scared of if I said No, will I make this person mad but now… who the hell cares! They will surely get over it, and move on to the next ‘victim’. I am not a punching bag for those who need something, nah. That’s done.

Remember, don’t go out of your way for people, who wouldn’t cross the street for you.

Jonez

I like your Excuse.

If I tell you what I want… If I make it a point to verbally tell you exactly what I want… and you still give an excuse, you don’t respect me.

I know what it means to be single, I know what it means to be in a relationship, dating, etc. In all situations my time needs to be respected. I find that being single this is my biggest issue. I am not going to spend time, time that I could be doing something I actually want to do, with you, if you don’t get it. If you are over the age of thirty you should ‘get it’. I am not looking to be married tomorrow BUT If this has no future, then call it quits and move on. Don’t try to rock with me because you know I am going to make sure I take care of home.

I was attempting to possibly date a guy, I made it known that if he wanted to be taken serious, and he wanted to take me out, he needed to make plans in advanced. Not the night before, but days prior. I even went as far to explain to him WHY this is a factor to me. And still there was opposition. Wanna know his reasoning? He’d rather be spontaneous, he didn’t want something to come up and he’d have to cancel on whatever was planned. I call BS. Mister, if something DID come up, just reached out and rescheduled. I am willing to compromise, but if your not even making an effort, why would I? I’m happier being single with myself, then trying to date a man who’ll eventually waste my time.

Jonez.

Personal Things.

Although I am always in somebody’s business, I do a rather remarkable job keeping my nose out of others folks business. I just can’t be bothered by some people and minding my business ensures that they do the same. Don’t get me wrong I gather inspiration from everything and everyone, however I choose not to focus on my friend’s affairs UNLESS they want their shit to be broadcasted. If that’s the case, then you better believe I am, shouting it from the rooftops.

It’s funny that I don’t put more of my business out there, but true story I am boring. I am the most boring regular super amazing chick that you are going to meet. A lot of the times, I live inside my head, the interactions that I believe are happening in real life are happening in my head. No, I am not a psycho, but I’m just an artist, so excuse me when my characters are showing.

Tristan J.

Naked

One of my favorite photos, that I’ve ever had the pleasure of taking of myself. I also edit this photo in black and white! While I know I will never be able to recreate this exact photo, I would like to set up a session with a professional photographer, and soon. When I look at this, I see my whole self, the good and the bad. And surprisingly I love what I see!

Jonez

Groovy Baby.

There is nothing like Soul Music from the 70’s. Nothing.

As I was walking home last night, I started to feel blue, but before I could give in to the feeling completely, “Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green came on. It’s one of my absolutely favorite songs. I wasn’t around in the 70’s but whenever I listen to music from that period, I am transported back. I see myself walking through the streets of Harlem with my afro, bell bottoms and platform shoes. I would’ve loved to see Al Green performing ANYWHERE! Every song its like he’s singing only to me. He makes being in the love the most intimate act ever. Listening to Mr. Green just makes your senses alive, its like your heart has recognized him, and behaves accordingly. Either there’s an old soul lady within me, or I was born in the wrong era musically.

Is this the same for you guys? What genre just moves your soul?

Tristan Jonez.

Q&A, pt2

So I posted Q&A yesterday to the site as well as to Instagram, and to my surprise the response was if a person deems you important, or the relationship important, they will make the time to communicate with you. But on the flip side, you have to be willing to be prepared to make sacrifices, since they may not always be able to make the time, especially if their job is that demanding.

Its all in the effort! I am willing to make the sacrifice of not being able to speak to you as frequently as I would like If I believe you are making the effort to find the time to speak to me. I believe its vice versa as well. My love would be willing to create the time, if he has to, so that he can communicate with me. And I don’t always expect a phone call, if you can send a text message with just a heart, OMG, I would be exceedingly satisfied. We always say its the small things, and it truly is.

Jonez.