Q&A

You’re talking to a man who has a demanding job, so he doesn’t communicate as frequently as you would like, as of right now, it’s not an issue but you know if things continue they will become a problem.

Question, Do you advise him of your feelings?

Answer

I think communication is always a good thing. So being upfront should be a part of your daily routine, however it will be all in the way you tell him. You are aware he has a demanding job, so he may not have easy access to his cellular phone. Even though you may be attached to your phone, he may not feel the same about his device as you do yours. If this is really a problem for you, you have to let him know, otherwise it will slowly annoy you that he doesn’t communicate as much as you’d like. Your gentleman may feel as though he IS communicating more than adequantely enough with you, and thus isn’t reaching out more during the day. Just talk to the man, find the middle ground.

Tristan Jonez.

Care Less/Careless

Although I was not married at the time, I had an affair.

My partner and I was on the outs, arguments daily, and just in a state of unhappiness. We were nearing the end of our relationship but was still making an ‘effort’ to be together. We had put in time, and was trying to get back to the place where we was extremely happy with one another. Something just wasn’t clicking! I had booked a trip to Chicago, as I was secretly planning on moving there, and had two interviews scheduled. During my visit to the Windy City, I went to a local lounge, for grown folks, and meet an older gentleman. During the rest of my trip, we were together often. I returned back to Chicago three more times, to check out the scenery there and to get to know this gentleman better.

I was entertaining this gentleman while I knew I had a boyfriend back in New York. Although this was wrong I did not feel remorse for my actions. Even though I was not intimate with this gentleman, I would later find out that my beau was not being as faithful as he made me believe.

T. Jonez

A Consumer

I’m starting to feel as if I am loosing myself within myself with the all thought consuming idea of being alone. Being alone, not being able to experience love again, not being able to experience the joy of finding out you’re having a baby, never knowing what its like to have someone look at you as if you’re the only one that matters. As much as I don’t like it, I am okay with being single. However I am not okay with ended up alone.

Am I supposed to seek? Or wait for love to find me? Depending on who you ask, will depend on the answer you receive. Then there are billions of people on the planet, how can I possibly find the person that is for me? Is there more than one person for me? Do I stay single in an attempt to date more? The bigger the pool, the more options, the more chances to pick the wrong man. And when I do ‘pick’ am I using my heart or my head?

I’m starting to understand the logic, that I may never find the one that’s looking for me.

Sadly, Tristan J.

Loving on me.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

February 14th is my second favorite day, my birthday comes second to none. I love all the over-the-top displays of affection, today just feels brighter. I am single this year but that doesn’t stop my love fest, I just love a lil harder on my friends, my woes.

My Dream evening for tonight, would be seafood from Clawdaddy’s, Champagne, and HBO’S Insecure, the complete season 1, then Love Jones. I promise I will do a complete write up of Love Jones, because as a kid I didn’t understand it, but as an adult, who has love and lost, I get it now!

So please, Enjoy tonight. Whether your in love, or loving on yourself, Have an amazing Valentine’s Day.

Tristan Jonez.

The Perfect Kast

Yesterday, I came across the Podcast, “The Perfect Kast” after they liked one of my photos on Instagram. I listened to episode 31:Black in Love, which was their Valentine’s Day podcast, and it was pleasantly entertaining. The host; Benji the prophet and J Leaux made listening, sort of an interactive experience for me. I found myself talking back to them, as if I was a part of the conversation. I laughed throughout, I cursed them out as well. The two host did not sensor themselves when chatting about interactions between men and women. They both took ownership of their asshole-ishness, as well as their sensitive nature when it came up. I respect that they held no punches, none. They expressed themselves throughly, and at times the two hosts, Benji and J Leaux, battled each other about what was the correct course of action to the question that was being answered. I definitely had lots to say during the entire podcast. I enjoyed that they reached out and had two females, Jazzy the Jewel and Miss Nikki, bring their prospective. Although I believe men are most times stupid in their behavior and logic it was refreshing to hear what two blk men had to say about love and relationships.
Luckily for me, listening to this episode gave me a lot of inspiration for content for my own site. Don’t take my word for it, go check out The Perfect Kast on Instagram, iTunes and Sound Cloud… Download it now!

Tristan Jonez.

No More Single

Am I allowed to say, out loud, that I’m tired of being single? That I’m super over not having a husband? I know I just jumped over having a boyfriend, but it’s true I am tired of being single. Single is boring! Now I know why folks be cuffing’ for the winter, although I’m not looking for a warm body, having someone who I can actually communicate with. I can’t tell you how many days I look at my phone for someone to speak to, and I end up opening an app to play a game. There’s no one I want to speak to, there was one guy but thats’ a dub.

I didn’t realize I’ve been single for a year, this month. I have survived one whole year without being with the man I thought was going to be my last. I have made it! And I do not regret my decision to separate one bit. Granted I’m going through my bs of being single, for right now, but my guy is lost getting to me. I think its all the traveling I do, he’s not sure what city he should go to so he can sweep me off my feet. (Cute Right?)

Jonez.

Valentine Day Slay

Since I am single this year for Valentine’s Day I was thinking about doing some sort of giveaway, but Im not exactly sure what I should actually give away. Right now I’m toying with creating an amazing bathcocktail with the assistance of Lush Cosmetics or possibly creating a date, at one of my favorite dessert spots. My first giveaway wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I mean, its Free! Everyone should be jumping at the idea of a gratis… this time around I think I will market it differently. Really use my brain, for poppin’ out of the box ideas.

I was toying with the idea of possibly opening up the giveaway to men but Im still on the fence because I want to first brand myself with the empowerment of women. After I’ve made my stance abundantly clear then I want to brand out to my fellas and include them. However I think for the next few months I will be rocking out with the ladies!

Hey Ladies!!

Jonez.

Better.

He told me I deserved better but he wasn’t ready to give me better. We are always willing to applaud someone for their honesty but hold your applause. He knew from jump what I was/am looking for so for him to pursue anything other than friendship is a sucka move. I have no problem growing with the man I’m with but I’m not going to wait for you to get ur shit together. Why would I?

This man isn’t ready now, so when will he be? And what is he doing to prepare himself for a life with me? Will he still be sowing his oats with others? The fact that I have all these unanswered questions let me know I have to keep it moving. I’m not going to be with half a man just to say I have one. Nope! That’s for the birds.

Would you stay or walk away?

Tristan Jonez

House Hunting

Even though I’ve been told I am not asking for a lot, clearly I am since I could never get the basic things I am asking for in a relationship/friendship. IF the date, takes me to your house, I am not with it. I am not in that type of space with anyone that I am that comfortable to continue or start our date at your house.

Whenever I had company, Garlick (My mother) always made us stay downstairs. As she explained we honestly had no reason to be upstairs in the bedroom. We wasn’t having sex, so why did we need to be in the bedroom? There’s a television, and all amenities such as food downstairs. I’m starting to feel the same way, you don’t have to push or pressure me into coming over, cuz I know I’m not trying to smash so whats the deal?

Sometimes I feel like canceling dating, and just participate in an arranged marriage.

Tristan Jonez.

Anniversaries

January 2nd is the anniversary of my first love committing suicide.

Its like you are excited for the beginning of the year, a chance to do a massive reset on your life and the folks in it, but then bam! 48 hrs later you are brought back to a place mentally, where you almost didn’t survive the first time. Sometimes I have to really question if he is gone. Sigh. Life don’t owe me anything! I live my life to the fullest as there are folks who aren’t here to do so. As much as I wish I could wish Ali back to Life, I don’t possess those powers. If you are fighting depression you DO NOT have to fight it alone. I am here. I love you and I’ll help you get through it all.

Ali left behind a daughter.

Please take care one another.

Tristan Jonez.

ChristmasamtsirhC

This message is being written on December 16.

The idea of Christmas has greatly changed from what is was as a child. It used to be a representation of family, and love. Now unfortunately its just another day on the calendar. I’m assuming when I have a family of my own, the meaning of Christmas will once again change.

However I want to wish you and your family, a Very Happy Christmas Season. I’m thankful I have you guys to share in my highs and lows. Love you to life.

Tristan Jonez.