WAR

Be Careful who you go to War for, cuz once they’ve called a Truce; You’re still the Enemy.

I had to really examine myself and my actions when it pertains to others. I have always been willing to fight and defend those who can’t/won’t but I am not doing that anymore. When I go to War on someone’s behalf I am ready for the consequences of such actions, however I didn’t realize that the person Im going to War for could call a Truce and forget to include me in the deal. After going through my latest battle because of someone else, I have learned to let folks fight their own battles. I will be neutral as that is the only way to be safe. I have to learn to allow folks to make the decisions they deem necessary, All the while, respecting those decisions. If I should be asked to help, I will politely decline, as I have to learn to stay within the limits of friendship I’ve set.

Jonez

Life’s Wonders

Do you ever wonder about the lives that are being lived without you?

Sometimes when Im daydreaming, I think about the folks who’s World I was apart of way back when. I’ve lived in a few different states, and I think about people I got to know, and I folks who I lost touch with. I wonder if they are thinking of me in that same moment, and if they are, what are they thinking about exactly? There isn’t a relationship I walked away from that I would like to revisit, but to be able to glimpse into their current lives would be a treat. Although I wish anyone I’ve dated, an amazing life, I always wonder how my exit from their lives changed their lives. If I was the one holding them back from being great, or If I was the glue holding them together.

Tristan Jonez.

Dre/Sid

Brown Sugar.

One of my favorite movies, in life. Brown Sugar. Sidney (Sid) and Andre (Dre), met through hip hop, then fell in love cuz of hip hop. I knew a real life Sid and Dre, except they didn’t have the happy ending, and they never would.

Lets call the real life couple, Tiff and J. They bonded over life, over sarcasm, over living. Life was better and brighter because they had each other. Word is bond, shorty was tight. When J found a new restaurant, it was Tiff who he called to experience it with. When Tiff needed a break from everyday life’s annoyance, it was J who she called. A friendship could not have been any more perfect, THEN love ruined it.

When it was revealed, that J was in love, Tiff tried to make herself feel something she didn’t at the time. The friendship took a dive, it crashed and burned. Time heals all wounds, but it could not heal this. Feelings were already hurt, so J moved on, gets engaged, has a child. But you never forget the girl that set your heart on fire, in all ways.

Jonez.

AliSidney

Is it possible to ever really get over someone? What if that person is your soulmate?

I dont think there is a day that goes by that I do not think of Ali Sidney. He is still my dream man, my prince charming, my first love. I’m present in this moment as I am in every moment, and right now my thoughts are on him. I write about him from time to time, not as much as I should, but as much as needed. Lately I’ve been missing his friendship, he was my very best friend. I could tell him anything and he would be able to give me solutions in a way that no one has ever been able to duplicate. My soul aches for the man he could’ve become, the father, the friend, the future him.

Suicide is honestly a permanent solution to what is usually a temporary problem. It is a selfish decision, that affects all but the one committing suicide. You’re gone but we are left to deal with the pieces, some of which takes years to heal from. Wanting to quit is normal, but if you are harboring these feelings, take the time to reach out to someone. There are several avenues that are available to you, please know that you are NOT alone. I love you, and I am here to help in any and every way.

Tristan Jonez.

BFF’S

Sometimes I really act like I have no friends, and there is no one in my corner but thats the furthest thing from the truth. Although I do not see my people as frequently as I would like does not mean I have none. With that said, is the saying “Out of sight, out of mind” true? I do think that does hold some truth. When You don’t consistently see folks you tend to forget who you have, and who is there.

I am making changes as I see the things in the past hasn’t worked for me, so time to switch it up. I’ve been focusing on the people who leave my life, instead of celebrating the ones who choose to stay. My mother used to tell me if I had a good friend, that I was more than blessed, luckily for me I’m abundantly blessed.

How do you celebrate your friendships? Do you celebrate them?

Tristan Jonez

Friends?

Beware of the Men who put themselves in the Friend Zone.

I love having male friends, they help to create a balance in my life that I wouldn’t otherwise have. However I am a bit skeptical when guys that I have previously dated or have talked to are requesting to be my friend. I allow it but I am sure to create boundaries. I’m not sure what their intentions are, so I make sure I tell them what is acceptable in our new found friendship. At times I do think Its a ploy so they will be able to get into my panties but once I am done with you as a love interest, its very rare I will go back on that decision.

I encourage you to listen to your gut feeling, if your gut is like nah b. Then let that non existent friendship die. There are MILLIONS of people out there that you can create friendships with. But if you are cool with allowing a man to place himself in the friend zone, just be mindful of his words and actions.

Tristan Jonez

Obligations

You are not obligated to do anything for anyone.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like people have me fucked up, thinking that they are entitled to anything. I am not obligated to do anything for anyone, unless I feel like doing it. I know I have the tendency to be a nice person, a real life “people-pleaser” but yall fucked that up.

I know I’ve discussed this previously, and I don’t think this will be the last time because in addition to folks thinking you owe them something, they don’t fucking listen either.

Tristan J.

Apologies Done.

I’m not making any apologies.

I am who I am, and I am willing to allow all of me to be learned but it will be on my terms. I will never allow a person to pressure me into anything that I am not all the way cool with. Too many times, I’ve found myself walking towards the line of regret as I didn’t speak up when I did not want to do something. As an adult, If I’m not for it then I’m not doing it. No one can make me change my mind, if I truly don’t feel like being bothered with it.

When I tell you No, I’m not subconsciously asking you to try harder to convince me. Respect what No means, and move on. When and If I ever rethink what you are asking I will be the one to make the move. No is a complete sentence, I can give an explanation but it is not required.

Tristan J.

Aged.

There is only one you, and that is a disadvantage and an advantage in itself.

I am what I would like in return. Reread that, I am what I would like in return. Hands down, I would love to be my own friend. Someone is always telling us to take inventory of our lives, of the folks in our lives, that everyone doesn’t deserve a front seat, and etc, while I do agree with all of that, I think we need to first look at ourselves. Ask ourselves the hard questions, and answer them with honesty. We all have the ability to fool the outside world, but you can only lie to yourself for so long. Eventually you’ll lose your damn mind. This girl here doesn’t like loosing, so I’m honest with myself and others.

There is only one you, and that is an advantage and disadvantage in itself.

Trust in yourself. We continuously make bad decisions, but know that your ability to correct those mistakes make you you. Be who you are, and try not to let the sins of the World change you.

Curby

I was called Perfect. I was called Perfection.

Obviously I am far from perfect, but in someone’s eyes Im ‘It’, the epitome of what we all (most) aspire to be; perfect. I definitely took pleasure in his words. It feels good when a friend, lover, stranger, human being (whatever title) can acknowledge you or your talent! It’s an amazing thing, when someone can see way passed your flaws and still see you for who you are. Amazing things happen when you open yourself up to folks, as scary as that can be. What’s equally amazing is what can happen when you have someone in your corner rooting for you. That isn’t shy about letting you know they are cheering you on from the sidelines.

KK I appreciate our conversation last night, it definitely has my creative juices flowing this early morning. Continue to try, and everything will work in your favor. I promise.

Jonez

Personal Things.

Although I am always in somebody’s business, I do a rather remarkable job keeping my nose out of others folks business. I just can’t be bothered by some people and minding my business ensures that they do the same. Don’t get me wrong I gather inspiration from everything and everyone, however I choose not to focus on my friend’s affairs UNLESS they want their shit to be broadcasted. If that’s the case, then you better believe I am, shouting it from the rooftops.

It’s funny that I don’t put more of my business out there, but true story I am boring. I am the most boring regular super amazing chick that you are going to meet. A lot of the times, I live inside my head, the interactions that I believe are happening in real life are happening in my head. No, I am not a psycho, but I’m just an artist, so excuse me when my characters are showing.

Tristan J.

Bee You.

I am not sure if I spoke about this here on Tristanjonez.com, but when you are being your true genuine self, the Universe reaches out and gives you the very things you are asking for. When we finally stop trying to put on, and imitate others, thats the very moment when your flower blossoms. I want to think I am always myself, but I know there are times when I hold back for fear of coming off a wrong way to someone. I am embracing my crazy, my contradictions, my warmness and my mood swings all at the same time.

As the quote states, we are out here acting like we live more than once. The time is now to fully embrace who you are, however you are. When you start being your true, amazing self, you are opening the doors so that your tribe is able to recognize you!

Are you still looking for your tribe?

Tristan J.