Quiltin’

Its always a pleasure when art work can help you to reflect and remember what used to be. My grandmother, Theo Western, had a quilt that I can picture so vividly, that was such a staple in her home. I remember curling up with her on the couch, and be bundled in that quilt. Thinking back on it, feels me with such warmth and comfort but sadness creeps in since my granny has since died, and her quilt, is now misplaced.

Last year I flew to Little Rock, Arkansas, and I feel head over heels for the city. Such a small place with so much history, and surprisingly culture. Just like last year, I had to revisit the Old State Museum, since museums are kinda my thing. In this particular exhibit, “A piece of my Soul” Quilts by Black Arkansans, displayed about ten quilts created by black women who were former slaves, as well as black freed women. The first time I saw this exhibit, tears flowed freely, I felt as close to my grandmother as I had in a long time. It still amazes me, that this simple garment has brought families together, in not just creating together, but in the warmth the quilt provides.

If any, what heirloom is passed down from generation to generation in your family?

Tristan J

Functioning.

Until my friend Towanda mentioned it, I’ve never really gave much thought to me being a functioning depressive person. I know there are times when my lows are overwhelming but as always I pick myself up out of the ‘funk’ because what else would I do? What else can I do? There’s no time for me to wallow in all the things that have happened to me. To wallow in my version of the blues. As a person without parents, I’ve learned to depend on myself for my emotional needs. There was a time where I wanted to lean on my friends, but I could scream at the top of the highest building that I need them to check in on me, see how I am doing, reciprocate the things that I do for them, hell even a fraction of how I show up and show out for them, but most don’t.

As a friend, I do certain things out of the kindness of my heart. I know what it’s like to want someone to give a fuck about you, and they don’t. So I do my best to show up for others in a way I’d want someone to show up for me. For example, Mother’s Day gets a bit easier for me, yes, but I STILL am without a mother, so if I am wishing you a ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ or checking in with you because you no longer have one, ASK ME HOW THE FUCK AM I DOING! Cuz maybe I’m at my tipping point but its June, so eh. All I can do is keep moving forward.

Speaking to my friend, Ty, she mentioned I am a nurturer and I agree but I need to pour every single drop back into my damn self. So whatever the question, the answer is No.

Tristan J.

KLS.

Believe what others see in you. -Kimora Lee Simmons

Kimora Lee Simmons, my older cousin, in my head, wrote that in her book, Fabulousity, and its’ stuck with me for years. There are plenty of times that I don’t always have the confidence I should have but then I remember, Believe in what others see in you. My best friend, Jeff, literally tells me all the time how beautiful I am, and I usually try to get him to tone it down. ME? Beautiful? Gorgeous? Like seriously? And everyday? Cant be. Not me.

I had to stop thinking of myself as not being beautiful. I’ve recently started only talking to myself positively, I don’t even joke with myself, negatively. I don’t want any of those ideas in my head. I am beautiful and I, above all have to believe it, but … I do fall short. I am still a work in progress. On the days I feel my best, I capture it with a photo, or a million.

Whats ur strategy when not feeling so gorgeous? How do you hype yourself?

Tristan J

Ari Lennox

I just want you hands around my … throat.

Ari Lennox recently dropped her album, and I can literally listen to every single song, without skipping anything. The more you listen to the album, the more you want to listen to only it! I am trying to give the other artist in my Spotify playlist a spin but after one song of someone else, right back to Ari Lennox I go.

I was fortunate enough to be able to find tickets to her show in Orange County, California. I didn’t know it at the time but It was the second show on her shea butter baby tour. Of course, I purchased the meet and greet package, cuz duh! It was a hassle to get to the West Coast from Chicago, I had to connect in Sacramento but the show was more than worth every single aggravation! Good Luck, scoring a ticket to ANY of the remaining shows, they are all sold out, and if they aren’t, the tickets that are available are ridiculously upcharged.

What are your favorite tracks on the album? Because I couldn’t just pick three, my top five are FaceTime, Up Late, BMO, New Apartment and Broke. Honorable mention, Whipped Cream and Choke, although that’s not on the album.

Tristan Jonez.

Need a Boost?

When in Reno, one must experience the National Automobile Museum!

If you know me, you know I don’t know much about cars, and when I say much I mean nothing. As a New Yorker, we aren’t even required to have a driver’s license but looky looky I do have mine! Don’t tell anyone, but at times I do get confused with the gas and the brakes! (Laughing) IF you ever see me on the road, behind the wheel, just pull over. Sorry, I got distracted, let’s get back to The National Automobile Museum.

As I was saying, I am not someone who really knows much about cars and I had the time of my life here. There are four galleries in which to see the cars, thru the ages. Feel free to join the tour, or explore on your own as I did. There’s also an area in which you can see the mechanics restoring cars of yester-year. The price is 12$ for admission but its a small price to pay to visualize yourself in cars of the past. There are also interactive exhibits which allows you a chance to have a hands on experience.

Tristan Jonez.

Body Me Up

First, Chicago was beautiful today! Oh my gosh. It’s been too long since I’ve been able to truly feel the sun on my face. This was the perfect ending to the weekend!

I was able to visit the Market for Makers today, and boy, I think I’ve found a few new body care companies, bonus two out of the three I supported today are black owned. There is just something about seeing folks who look like you, selling something that is amazingly good for my skin. I’m already headed to being a super fan. I’ll admit it, I’m a lover of anything vanilla scented, and Southern Girl Skincare had just what I needed. So of course the first product I touched was Suga Cookie. Upon my initial deep smell, I was transported back to a cabin, where I was sitting in front of the first, drinking my hot chocolate and eating a snickerdoodle cookie. It was magnificent without being too sugary sweet. I knew for sure I just had to have it, plus it was the VERY last one, Score! Because I could not choose between well butter my cocoa and Oh Scarlett, I just threw both in the bag! Cue Fab’s, “Just throw it in the bag”

There had been a crowd around Mocha Tree Organics, every single time I had tried to get a peek at the body scrubs, but finally (!!) the crowd had dissipated. I made a run for the table before anyone could notice. So many options of scrubs all pleasantly scented, it was hard to choose, so naturally I tested the first item my hand touched, Basil Bay Rum. Such an earthy but extremely moisturizing scent/product, I paired my experience with Jasmine Rose because where’s there’s jasmine, there’s me! A small amount truly goes a long way, after my much needed hand scrub, I could not stop touching my hands and relishing in how soft it was. For the rest of the day, I could do nothing more than caress my throughly moisturized hands!

But don’t take my word, check out Mochatreeorganics.com and Southerngirlskin.com

You’re Welcomed, Tristan Jonez.

Zoo Life.

So while in Portugal for my birthday, I made time to visit the zoo. I know I know, in every city I tell y’all I am no longer going to the zoo because it scares me, but aren’t we supposed to do things that scares us? Why does the zoo scares me you ask? Because minus NYC zoo’s it doesn’t seem as if the fence is all the way enclosed, or there’s no damn fence at all. I always believe, the day I am there, is the day the animals will protest, and realize they are sick of being where they are an attempt to break out. Wild imagination but hey you never know. Portugal zoo, has to be the number one scariest zoo I’ve ever been able to visit. There are peacocks, about fifty of ’em, just walking around the grounds all willy nilly, while the monkeys are not in an enclosure, at all!

I believe I had a good time, after I was on safe grounds OUTSIDE of the Zoo. I always have a great time learning about where they animals actually come from, but I think I may have to retire the exploration of Zoos in the near future. Do you have a must see when traveling to another country?

Tristan J

Single Again

Cue Trina, ‘I’m single again, back on the prowl. I thought it was perfect, I don’t know how’

I’m not sure if I’m ever sad over being single. I mean, I grow fond of people, especially if we have a genuine connection but what’s the point of fretting over spilled milk? I pay attention to the reg flags! I don’t ignore certain things just because I don’t want to be single. HELL NO! That’s how you end up with a mf for ten years, and wake up one day like ‘where did the time go?’ I refuse for that scenario to ever become my life.

I’ll even indulge in actions that I may not love but if I bring it to your attention and there’s actual change I respect it. But I’m not going to keep expressing my feelings and they continue to be ignored. I’m also tired of meeting one version of a man, then when he gets comfortable, I get to meet the real version of him. Nope! Not dealing with that anymore either. So tired of people’s representatives! At first I told myself I wasn’t going to date but off that! Let the dating olympics begin!

Tristan Jonez

Portugyal

I’ve grown so fond of Lisbon, Portugal and I cannot wait until I return! Such a colorful and lively city! And the graffiti! I can only think of Barcelona, off the top of my head, coming close to having such an abundance of graffiti! I would’ve loved to stage a photoshoot with unlimited clothing options. A city blended with old world accents mixed with a new version, a younger versions of what it means to be a creative. I would also like to believe just by being in the city, my perception of what it means to be fashionable has grown as well. I was able to mix colors, patterns and prints, to however I saw fit!

Please as soon as you can, get yourself to Lisbon! I look forward to your transformation as a product of your visit. Have you already been? Please let me know all about your visit!

Tristan J.

Be Grown.

Since January 1st, I’ve been implementing mission: minding my damn business! Whatever someone needs to do to make themselves happy, I keep my opinion to myself. Even if their decision causes THEM pain, I just be like ‘oh ok’, or ‘wow that’s crazy’. Folks are out here living life, however they see fit, and it’s up to me to continue to mind the business that pays me. Whether a friend or foe, I keep my opinions to myself. There are times when said person wants my opinion on things, and I’ve also been keeping that to myself. Most times, folks are going to do what they want, so I’m wasting my time, getting my feelings involved, when they aren’t going to take heed to anything being said.

I know some folks who would intervene if said person was hurting themselves, but I refuse, unless they were mentally underdeveloped. Everyone I know, and are friends with is GROWN! They are able to take care of themselves, and should be able to make sound decisions. I’ve learned people need to learn for themselves, so who am I to take away their lesson but giving them a cheat code? Nope!

Tristan Jonez

Story Time, Spain.

Every time I travel I learn more about myself; what I need from life, what I want my life to look like, how I’d like to mold my future, what areas I’d like to improve upon, etc. This line of questioning happens throughout my time away from home. Traveling forces me, in the best of ways, to grow! There’s no way I can stay who I was, after experiencing a new place or revisiting an old place.

Currently I’m in Barcelona, I was here for my 29th birthday. Barcelona is special to me as it was my very first solo trip. Half way here, I was freaking out majorly because I was questioning myself, severe doubt crept in! Who did I think I was to be traveling out the country, to a place I’d never been, and didn’t speak the language, the damn nerve of me! Fortunately/Unfortunately I was already on the plane, Airbnb was paid for, so there was no way I could back out now, that first trip, taught me how to trust myself, trust my steps and that fiery gut instinct I’ve learned to depend on with my life.

And all that was said, to simply say, Just go!

Tristan Jonez

Communi

“Without active communication, the relationship is dead”

Y’all, I’m tired.

I’m so tired, I am nearing exhaustion. Have y’all ever tried to communicate for two people, yourself and another? I’m so tired of trying to decipher what someone actually means and deciphering it incorrectly. I want folks to start being upfront with what they want. Speak up! If you want A, don’t say you’re okay with B, when that’s not the truth. I know I don’t have the patience of a saint, but I do my best to allow folks to communicate at the pace they are comfortable with, but when it starts to affect me, then we have a problem.

If you are a grown up it should be a requirement that you know how to affectively communicate before you can be classified as an adult. Communication is not just about getting your point across, you have to know how to LISTEN, and put what’s been said into action. If you’re not receiving what’s being said, then what’s the point? Folks get tired of talking until they are blue in the face. I’m not going to allow folks to drain me, cuz they can’t seem to know how to actively listen!

Tristan Jonez