TX.

As usual I’m late with the tea, and it’s my damn tea that I’m spilling. So I told y’all last week, I was waiting, not patiently, for some news and I received it! Whoot whoot! So … I’m moving to Dallas Texas in less than thirty days! [Insert Scream]

Now that I’ve written that down, it’s really real. It’s really happening. I’m taking these few days to recharge my battery, rest and refocus myself on the things that are important to me. I needed this time to get my thoughts back in order.

I’ll still be working as much as I normally do, because bills will definitely still need to get paid, but I’m working on putting aside the time needed to fly back and forth to Dallas from Chicago, and NYC if needed. However I wanted y’all to be the first to know the news!

Don’t worry our adventures will continue, no matter the city!

Tristan Jonez.

Rough Weak.

I had a rough week.

Although I had a rough week in the people department, I always feel there’s no room for me to complain. I’m alive, so there’s always an opportunity to improve on whatever’s going on. However in full disclosure, I did shed a few tears headed home from the airport. It’s weird how comforting the airport is to me now.

This week I think I’ve lost a friend, and I’m walking away from a potential love interest. Both situations are draining! At first I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide until my heart had, had time to sort itself out. Then I cried, and felt much better after. Hiding has never done anyone any good ever, so I’ll keep focusing on myself. Instead of focusing on people and how to be there for them, Imma just show up for my damn self.

Jonez

I’ve perfected the art of being alone. I want to know what it’s like to not ALWAYS be alone. As a flight attendant once the flight is over, and you’re heading to your hotel room, you’re back to being alone. Between my six month and year mark I was ready to quit! I missed having the same set of people like with a traditional 9-5. I was missing the routine of having a routine, of knowing how the day would go.

The idea of always being able to meet new people intrigued me but once I was there, in the mix of being able to do just what I said I would, nothing would happen. As I was there, I am now, I’m tired of attempting to get to know other people and the friendship doesn’t grow. I know very well that folks aren’t me but what do I have to do to create lasting forming friendships?

Jonez.

Dear Diary …

Why is it when you’re waiting for a particular day on the calendar it takes literally forever to get to that date?! Although I’ve only been waiting a few weeks, the days are crawling by at a snails pace. I now fully understand when folks are ready to go home from work/school and what feels like eight hours, in reality is only eight minutes.

Ughhhhh!!!! Yeah Yeah, I hear you saying patience is a virtue. Time continues moving forward, and the day will be here sooner than you know! Well forget sooner than I know and just come along already. B

Nothing to share with you Diary as I’m stilllllllll waiting but July 30th, we’ll know! Excited yet? Lord knows I am!

Jonez

Beach Bum.

For the record, I did put into the Universe that July would be my beach month, and by the end of it, I would have visit four beaches and one pool! I have to start using my voice a lot more often so the Universe can continue to show out!

Never considered myself a Florida girl, and maybe I truly am not one BUT I’ve been having such a great time at Ft. Lauderdale beaches! I also learned I am NOT a pool person at all! There’s something about hearing the crashing of the water that just relaxes me.

Are you a beach or pool person?

Jonez.

Dear Diary …

After ripping yet another hole in my work pants, I’ve finally decided to work out! I can’t take sitting in the jumpseat of the aircraft and sewing my pants back together! Super Over it! I spent five minutes shy of an hour in the gym and took little breaks. I know I’ll feel it in the morning but I welcome the soreness. I’m feeling like Rev. Run as this ‘dead diary’ is being written while in the tub.

Tonight’s bath salts are brought to you by soaptopia In the uplifting scent blend Relief Fund.

I’ve also decided in addition to weening out red meat, I’m also going to give up bread, pray for me, and sugar. The only sugar I’ll consume will be from fruits, but nothing extra. No sodas, including ginger ale. I’m feeling good about the choices I’m planning on making!

Thanks for listening Diary.

Jonez.

Quiltin’

Its always a pleasure when art work can help you to reflect and remember what used to be. My grandmother, Theo Western, had a quilt that I can picture so vividly, that was such a staple in her home. I remember curling up with her on the couch, and be bundled in that quilt. Thinking back on it, feels me with such warmth and comfort but sadness creeps in since my granny has since died, and her quilt, is now misplaced.

Last year I flew to Little Rock, Arkansas, and I feel head over heels for the city. Such a small place with so much history, and surprisingly culture. Just like last year, I had to revisit the Old State Museum, since museums are kinda my thing. In this particular exhibit, “A piece of my Soul” Quilts by Black Arkansans, displayed about ten quilts created by black women who were former slaves, as well as black freed women. The first time I saw this exhibit, tears flowed freely, I felt as close to my grandmother as I had in a long time. It still amazes me, that this simple garment has brought families together, in not just creating together, but in the warmth the quilt provides.

If any, what heirloom is passed down from generation to generation in your family?

Tristan J

Functioning.

Until my friend Towanda mentioned it, I’ve never really gave much thought to me being a functioning depressive person. I know there are times when my lows are overwhelming but as always I pick myself up out of the ‘funk’ because what else would I do? What else can I do? There’s no time for me to wallow in all the things that have happened to me. To wallow in my version of the blues. As a person without parents, I’ve learned to depend on myself for my emotional needs. There was a time where I wanted to lean on my friends, but I could scream at the top of the highest building that I need them to check in on me, see how I am doing, reciprocate the things that I do for them, hell even a fraction of how I show up and show out for them, but most don’t.

As a friend, I do certain things out of the kindness of my heart. I know what it’s like to want someone to give a fuck about you, and they don’t. So I do my best to show up for others in a way I’d want someone to show up for me. For example, Mother’s Day gets a bit easier for me, yes, but I STILL am without a mother, so if I am wishing you a ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ or checking in with you because you no longer have one, ASK ME HOW THE FUCK AM I DOING! Cuz maybe I’m at my tipping point but its June, so eh. All I can do is keep moving forward.

Speaking to my friend, Ty, she mentioned I am a nurturer and I agree but I need to pour every single drop back into my damn self. So whatever the question, the answer is No.

Tristan J.

KLS.

Believe what others see in you. -Kimora Lee Simmons

Kimora Lee Simmons, my older cousin, in my head, wrote that in her book, Fabulousity, and its’ stuck with me for years. There are plenty of times that I don’t always have the confidence I should have but then I remember, Believe in what others see in you. My best friend, Jeff, literally tells me all the time how beautiful I am, and I usually try to get him to tone it down. ME? Beautiful? Gorgeous? Like seriously? And everyday? Cant be. Not me.

I had to stop thinking of myself as not being beautiful. I’ve recently started only talking to myself positively, I don’t even joke with myself, negatively. I don’t want any of those ideas in my head. I am beautiful and I, above all have to believe it, but … I do fall short. I am still a work in progress. On the days I feel my best, I capture it with a photo, or a million.

Whats ur strategy when not feeling so gorgeous? How do you hype yourself?

Tristan J

Ari Lennox

I just want you hands around my … throat.

Ari Lennox recently dropped her album, and I can literally listen to every single song, without skipping anything. The more you listen to the album, the more you want to listen to only it! I am trying to give the other artist in my Spotify playlist a spin but after one song of someone else, right back to Ari Lennox I go.

I was fortunate enough to be able to find tickets to her show in Orange County, California. I didn’t know it at the time but It was the second show on her shea butter baby tour. Of course, I purchased the meet and greet package, cuz duh! It was a hassle to get to the West Coast from Chicago, I had to connect in Sacramento but the show was more than worth every single aggravation! Good Luck, scoring a ticket to ANY of the remaining shows, they are all sold out, and if they aren’t, the tickets that are available are ridiculously upcharged.

What are your favorite tracks on the album? Because I couldn’t just pick three, my top five are FaceTime, Up Late, BMO, New Apartment and Broke. Honorable mention, Whipped Cream and Choke, although that’s not on the album.

Tristan Jonez.

Dear Motherless Child.

I love you.

I know what you’re feeling as Mother’s Day approaches, and I’m here to support you as much as you need. As much as you’ll want to isolate yourself, don’t. Or please don’t for very long. Cry, Yell, be angry, and/or Scream as much as you have to but don’t forget to surround yourself with love. “They” lied when they said time heals all wounds, it doesn’t, it just makes you learn what’s really important, what’s really worth your time and focus.

Although I can’t remember my first Mother’s Day without my mother, I do remember locking myself within myself. It remained that way for years to come, I told myself I didn’t celebrate this holiday, why should I?! I was without a mother. However as time passed I realized I was focusing on what I no longer had and not focusing on the many other women who had filled my heart with motherly love at one time or another. Now I celebrate those women.

Your momma may not be here physically, you may not be able to see or converse with her but I believe she’s still near you. Still watching and is part of your daily blessings. Celebrate the woman she was, celebrate the memories you’ve created together, and remember the love she showered you with.

In all things, with all things, let love be your guide.

Tristan Jonez.

PS. Happy Mother’s Day Garlick.

Need a Boost?

When in Reno, one must experience the National Automobile Museum!

If you know me, you know I don’t know much about cars, and when I say much I mean nothing. As a New Yorker, we aren’t even required to have a driver’s license but looky looky I do have mine! Don’t tell anyone, but at times I do get confused with the gas and the brakes! (Laughing) IF you ever see me on the road, behind the wheel, just pull over. Sorry, I got distracted, let’s get back to The National Automobile Museum.

As I was saying, I am not someone who really knows much about cars and I had the time of my life here. There are four galleries in which to see the cars, thru the ages. Feel free to join the tour, or explore on your own as I did. There’s also an area in which you can see the mechanics restoring cars of yester-year. The price is 12$ for admission but its a small price to pay to visualize yourself in cars of the past. There are also interactive exhibits which allows you a chance to have a hands on experience.

Tristan Jonez.