Goin’ Going

The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was to let go. It surprises me that I am so open to meeting new folks, since I take it hard when the friendship fails. I do find comfort in the thought that everything happens for a reason, so when something doesn’t work out, it doesn’t cripple me. However something drastic has to happen for me to cut someone off, and even then I’m always in jeopardy of lending a helping hand if needed.

Have you ever said, No I’m not dealing with this shit anymore, then a few months later, you’re dealing with that shit? HA! I also find the humor in everyday life shit, everyday life stressors, but if I didn’t I would be crazier than I am now.

What routines do you create to help you let go? Let go of people or situations that no longer benefit you?

Tristan Jonez

Photo Perfect

The way a significant other captures your photo determines how much they care for you.

Like always everything I write is an discussion, but this (!) I strongly believe in. Granted I enjoy taking photos and capturing you in the best light that I possibly can, but thats my job as your girl. I was dating a man, on one of our dates we went to the Museum, he wanted me to take his photos at different stops on the tour I created, so of course I obliged. When I asked him to return the favor and take one … the photo was horrid! It was if he had just snapped the photo without checking to see if I was centered, smiling, eyes opened.. just click. Photo Taken.

Needless to say, this is a relationship that did not work out. I mean why would it, if he didn’t care to take the time to take a subpar photo, then how can he maintain a relationship. Some folks will say that Im bugged out but this logic but its very true. And don’t get me started on the men who won’t even take the photo!

Tristan J.

BFF’S

Sometimes I really act like I have no friends, and there is no one in my corner but thats the furthest thing from the truth. Although I do not see my people as frequently as I would like does not mean I have none. With that said, is the saying “Out of sight, out of mind” true? I do think that does hold some truth. When You don’t consistently see folks you tend to forget who you have, and who is there.

I am making changes as I see the things in the past hasn’t worked for me, so time to switch it up. I’ve been focusing on the people who leave my life, instead of celebrating the ones who choose to stay. My mother used to tell me if I had a good friend, that I was more than blessed, luckily for me I’m abundantly blessed.

How do you celebrate your friendships? Do you celebrate them?

Tristan Jonez

Tremaine (The Album)

Its been a full week since the release of Trey Songz self titled album “Tremaine”, and for starters it is appropriately named. In my opinion, this is Trey’s most intimate work, it not only shows his maturity as an adult, but it shows his vulnerability as a man. Although cliche, I could see this album being named Trey Songz V. Tremaine, but he embodies both part of himself, equally. So he is not battling himself, he has accepted that he wants to settle down (Nobody Else but You) but at his core he is still a (Playboy). Trey shows he is still ‘Mr.Steal your girl on (The Sheets…Still) but its as if he’s telling us he is trying to be for only one girl. Imagine you have the opportunity to not only express your feelings but you are able to act on those feelings, the only catch is, you have until the (Song goes off)

Trey Songz takes point on (Animal) as he describes how ‘wild’ his lady gets in bed. In this song he is matching his movements to her. In my mind, the video would be visually pleasing, with them being in the jungle, a camera in hand, but it wouldn’t be cheesy.

My favorite song has to be (1×1) the beat flows perfectly with the lyrics, I don’t want to call it classic club song, but it definitely should be in club banger rotation. Imagine being at a function, and you make eye contact with a stranger from across the floor, however he doesn’t approach immediately, so you start preforming for him. And while he is watching you, in his mind he is dreaming about coming over at 3am.

(Picture Perfect) Is a song from Tremaine to us. He’s asking us to examine if its really as it seems. Are we really happy, does that man your with truly make you happy. Because if it isn’t there is someone out here that’s willing to put in work for you time, ‘cuz your worth it.

Tremaine is definitely an album you should pick up, yes it is a bit different from his past work but he has matured not only in age, but musically.

Tristan Jonez

Friends?

Beware of the Men who put themselves in the Friend Zone.

I love having male friends, they help to create a balance in my life that I wouldn’t otherwise have. However I am a bit skeptical when guys that I have previously dated or have talked to are requesting to be my friend. I allow it but I am sure to create boundaries. I’m not sure what their intentions are, so I make sure I tell them what is acceptable in our new found friendship. At times I do think Its a ploy so they will be able to get into my panties but once I am done with you as a love interest, its very rare I will go back on that decision.

I encourage you to listen to your gut feeling, if your gut is like nah b. Then let that non existent friendship die. There are MILLIONS of people out there that you can create friendships with. But if you are cool with allowing a man to place himself in the friend zone, just be mindful of his words and actions.

Tristan Jonez

Obligations

You are not obligated to do anything for anyone.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like people have me fucked up, thinking that they are entitled to anything. I am not obligated to do anything for anyone, unless I feel like doing it. I know I have the tendency to be a nice person, a real life “people-pleaser” but yall fucked that up.

I know I’ve discussed this previously, and I don’t think this will be the last time because in addition to folks thinking you owe them something, they don’t fucking listen either.

Tristan J.

Apologies Done.

I’m not making any apologies.

I am who I am, and I am willing to allow all of me to be learned but it will be on my terms. I will never allow a person to pressure me into anything that I am not all the way cool with. Too many times, I’ve found myself walking towards the line of regret as I didn’t speak up when I did not want to do something. As an adult, If I’m not for it then I’m not doing it. No one can make me change my mind, if I truly don’t feel like being bothered with it.

When I tell you No, I’m not subconsciously asking you to try harder to convince me. Respect what No means, and move on. When and If I ever rethink what you are asking I will be the one to make the move. No is a complete sentence, I can give an explanation but it is not required.

Tristan J.

Chances Chances.

Now normally I am not a second chance giver but lately I think I have a different view on it. We are all human and fall short of the Glory of God (Whomever you may believe in), if he/she can forgive us, forget about it and give another chance who am I not to do the same?

So, my question to you, Can you trust someone who has previously hurt you? I believe you can. A phrase that came to mind as soon as I answered, “A tiger cannot change his stripes” but we are not animals, although we sometimes have the tendency to act as such. We are a sophisticated society, who have the ability to use or minds to build cities, so it is not possible that we can not change for the better? I do not want to be the same person I was last week, last year, I want to continuously do and be better.

In life and love we definitely fall short of the person we would like to be, and to the people we’d like to be with. I want to believe that If I met the love of my life, but didn’t recognize, I would work on myself so when I got the opportunity to reconnect with that person I would take full advantage. Sometimes we need a door slammed in our face to get the point.

Tristan Jonez.

Vaca * tion

So I was on vacation for two whole weeks! I’ve never taken a vacation for that long, ever!

Can we discuss how I went from Frankfurt, German to New Orleans, to Chicago. I had such an amazing time, was by myself, the beginning and end, but was joined by friends for Mardi Gras! I will go into deeper discussion about all three places. Initially my plan was to go to carnival in Brazil but that didn’t pan out the way I’d semi planned it. I was even planning on taking Samba lessons as I really wanted to be part of the festivities, but a year flew by so quickly that Feb 2017, snuck up on so quickly that I was unprepared. I’ve been advised that Trinidad Carnival should be on my bucket list, and I am actually putting lots of thought into that idea.

Are you planning on Carnival, in any country next year?

Tristan Jonez

Revamper

I know it takes money to make money but once you invest money in something you are making the decision to be all the way official with it. My website desperately needs to be turned into an official website. I am super proud of myself, for my content but the general look of Tristanjonez.com needs to be revamped. When I do come to the site, to read what I’ve written, I get a lil bummed out by the look of it.

I wonder if my readers feel the same as I do when I visit my site, if so I need to put the money into my site. February was my happiest month on record, and I want to believe that maintain Tristanjonez.com had much to do with that. So its only right that I treat her as good as she’s treated me.

I am making it my business to get my act together, personally and professionally. Let’s focus on professionally though.

Jonez.

Art Institvte Chicago

I’ve dreamt of The Art Institute of Chicago for as long as I could remember. I was in love way before I had the opportunity to visit. And I mean head over heels, so deep in love. But I had this crazy notion in my head, that 27$ was WAY too much to spend on a ticket to the museum. (Blame NYC museums as they are free!) So I told myself there was absolutely no way I would pay to visit. Keep in mind, I love art, and I place no value on the pieces that are on exhibit currently, but I was totally against it.

Thanks to having a well placed vacation, I was able to make a weekend out of visiting The Art Institute of Chicago, and I’ve fallen deeper in love with the city of Chicago. The museum was amazing. Perfection! I did not want to leave, and contemplated sneaking into a bathroom stall and having a night at the museum night! Then I got scared that they would find me, and arrest me so I scrapped that idea. Thanks to Bank of America, I was able to visit for FREE! They have a program, every first weekend of the month (Sat/Sun) if you show your card to select museums you are able to visit free of charge.

Make Sure you check out BankofAmerica.com so you can learn about all the museums you’ll be able to visit with your card. I can’t wait to see you guys there!

Tristan Jonez.

Blk Men Only?

Are you only interested in dating black men?

I’ve thought about this question, and my response. Hell I am still thinking about it. I want to believe that I am an open minded female, that I would be willing to date whomever but will I? As a kid, my mother would always joke, that I would be the one in the family who would bring an Indian or Asian man to Christmas dinner before a black man. I am a lover of people, so race doesn’t matter much. I’m opened to dating black men, but if there’s attraction there, why not?

I do find, that even though I am opened to dating other races, men of other races do not feel the same. Being intimate is one thing but being open to a long term relationship, is another monster to conquer. Hell black men don’t seem interested in dating a black woman so…

To answer the original question, No I am not only interested in dating a black man, just looking for one who’ll respect and Love me, no matter the race.

Tristan