Take this L

Think for yourself.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been friends with folks, or thought I was friends with folks, and they switch up. Since I spend the majority of my time at work, thats where most of my interactions take place. I know I have to stop using the word, ‘friends’, with these people but its my go to word. These people are NOT my friends, they are just people whom I like well enough to pass the time with while at work. To be fair, there are a handful, five, of people who are genuine human beings, but the rest, nope.

I am cordial to EVERYONE! Even if you are not someone who I deal with, or like personally, I will still greet you. Now if I greet you and you fail to respond, your done. I do not need to kiss anyone’s ass to make them like me, I love me and thats more than enough. I have my moments where I can be petty but I don’t feel the need to bring that side out unless you need a reality check about who I am.

I can be cool with you and your friend not be cool with me. Thats ok. Its none of my concern, the friendship you have with them over there. If you have no issue with me, and I none with you, you can still Kiki with me. Its not causing no static with that other friend. Get to know me for yourself! Your friend could just be a hater, cuz Im doing my thing, staying in my own lane, while trying to branch into others. So Eff your friend, and matter fact Eff you too.

Im one of the coolest chicks you’d ever meet. You’re replaceable, I’m NOT!

 

Tristan Jonez.

Valentine Day Slay

Since I am single this year for Valentine’s Day I was thinking about doing some sort of giveaway, but Im not exactly sure what I should actually give away. Right now I’m toying with creating an amazing bathcocktail with the assistance of Lush Cosmetics or possibly creating a date, at one of my favorite dessert spots. My first giveaway wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I mean, its Free! Everyone should be jumping at the idea of a gratis… this time around I think I will market it differently. Really use my brain, for poppin’ out of the box ideas.

I was toying with the idea of possibly opening up the giveaway to men but Im still on the fence because I want to first brand myself with the empowerment of women. After I’ve made my stance abundantly clear then I want to brand out to my fellas and include them. However I think for the next few months I will be rocking out with the ladies!

Hey Ladies!!

Jonez.

You didn’t Ask

I am all for a woman doing whatever it is she feels like doing. I will always be all for a woman doing whatever she feels like doing, especially with her own body. It annoys me when folks have opinions about how and why a female is doing her. Last time I checked, nobody is asking for your opinion about the next individual. I’ve always listened to my own drum, when it came to making decisions. I am the person who has to deal with the consequences of my actions.

Since I was seventeen, I’ve been the captain of this ship, and I would like to believe I have steered her correctly. I do not have any regrets, as every single lesson, was just that, a lesson. I hope I have learned what was there for me to learn as of lately I do believe I have taken heed to those lessons. Although there are things that my friends confide in me about, all I can do is listen, If they should ask for my opinion, only then do I share my feelings.

Do you give your unsolicited advice, when not asked?

Tristan Jonez.

Whine on me.

I so NEED to go to a Jamaican basement party. I’m currently listening to Tory Lanez – LUV and its one of my favorite songs. It takes me back to my younger days when I was in a different club every weekend, getting my young life on. I miss how the bass would thump in your ear, hours after you had left. I miss getting dressed for a night on the town, feeling that electricity in the air because you knew it was going to be an amazing evening.

Who is ready for a steelie basement party?

Jonez.

Versus Routine

You want to date me? Set it up in advanced.

I swear, that is the very basic of dating 101. I should not have to tell or explain to you why this is a critical step. Be smart and aware enough to understand I have a social life, a work life, a blog life, etc. so it would make sense to schedule something. Have respect for my time, as I have respect for your time. I loathe a routine, even though that’s exactly what my life has become lately. Being spontaneous will win you major points with me, BUT you have to know me a lil bit before you’re able to be accurately spontaneous with me.

Any one I’ve ever dated would all agree I love quick surprises, but you can’t want to randomly hit me up saying lets hang out. Nope. That’s not you respecting whatever else I may have going on in my life.

Let’s get it together fellas.

T. Jonez

Better. 

He told me I deserved better but he wasn’t ready to give me better. We are always willing to applaud someone for their honesty but hold your applause. He knew from jump what I was/am looking for so for him to pursue anything other than friendship is a sucka move. I have no problem growing with the man I’m with but I’m not going to wait for you to get ur shit together. Why would I? 

This man isn’t ready now, so when will he be? And what is he doing to prepare himself for a life with me? Will he still be sowing his oats with others? The fact that I have all these unanswered questions let me know I have to keep it moving. I’m not going to be with half a man just to say I have one. Nope! That’s for the birds. 

Would you stay or walk away? 

Tristan Jonez 

Lessons

I learned a lesson today folks. Well I received a nice little reminder… STOP begging people to support you. As much as we all want support stop begging people to give it to you. If its not coming from a place where they would like to do it freely, then I don’t want it. As a ‘friend’ I shouldn’t have to beg you for your support, cuz if the shoe was on the other foot, I would gladly be repping your name in these streets.

I was also reminded, that people might not be supporting you because your wack! You have to be honest with yourself about your content. It is on message with your brand? Is it good? If you was scrolling by is this something that would catch your eye? I want you to enjoy the success that is SURELY going to come if you continue to have a critical eye about your content. I use Instagram heavily, so I am constantly evaluating my content. If I never heard about ‘Tristan Jonez’ is this a post that would pull me in, would I want to find out about this person, would I even care about this content?

You have to be your OWN support system. Until your content, your personality , your vibes, brings on your tribe. Treat that one supporter like gold man. When I find really good content, I can’t shut up about it. Word of Mouth is your best marketing tool, but to get there you have to put in the work.

Tristan J.

Either This

It’s either my way or my way! -Tristan J

So this evening I was told that not everything will go my way. My first thought was Im not five anymore, but more importantly why can’t everything go my way? I do believe everyone we meet are to provide a lesson. EVERYONE. Its just up to us to find the lesson in the relationship.

This lesson, Whats in the past should stay there. You can’t breathe life into a lifeless situation. Let what is dead die! Stop wasting your time with folks that don’t get it. Stop trying to explain, when its obvious they don’t and will not get it. At this stage of my life, yes it is my way or bounce. I’m too old to try to make you understand why Im asking for the things I am asking for. I know to ask the Universe for my needs, I don’t ask for anything I am not ready or prepared for. That same logic can and should be applied to relationships, I am not here to change your mind on whatever it is that you are seeking. I am just here to be my fabulous self, while making life that much easier for you.

Get you a Winner Babe.

Tristan Jonez

Blocked

I am supposed to be writing.

But every time I sit down at the computer my mind draws a complete blank. I know this writing block has something to do with all the stress Ive been feeling lately with work and Homelife, but I would like it to be done. I work a high level stressed job, so when I get home I will my mind to go blank, but its been pretty bad lately. I cannot remember the last time I really had something to say. I do apologize for not writing but I’d rather write nothing then write nonsense.

Homelife is a conversation I would rather never have. Yes it is THAT bad but I’m staying positive that change will occur sooner than later.

However I do apologize, I feel like I’ve shown pieces of myself to only close myself again.  I promise that is not the case, I am still that opened book, I just need to live a lil.

 

Tristan J.

Next.

I slid up in his DM and got politely rejected.

Listen I am all for women going out and approaching men. Why should the guys have all the fun. If a man catches my eye, of course I will approach him. Since I do not know him, there’s nothing to fear. Rejection? Sigh, thats a fact of life. I’m sure before this rejection there has been other times I was told No, but I don’t remember them and soon enough I will forget this time as well. We always hear life is too short, which is true, so why not, Just do it?!

Have you ever been on the train (NewYorkers) and seen someone attractive? How many times have you made eye contact and smiled but they did nothing to come your way? OR how many times have someone looked at you and you absolutely felt the vibes, but neither of you made a move? How many misconnections have you experienced? Well one is too many for me. I will continue to approach folks, and attempt to explore the connection.

Tristan J.

 

Too Late?

Playing Devil’s Advocate, I think fathers of older children, don’t try to make an effort as they believe It will not make a difference. That we feel how we feel, and we’ve accepted them as disappointing members of our life. I strongly disagree! Even though I wouldn’t call my father a deadbeat, however I don’t feel like my father was an active participant in my upbringing. If I was to be frank with my father, he would state that my mother kept me away from him, but I would counter with, what about when I was the one reaching out? At some point in our lives, we have to accept the roles that we played. Understand? Even though I am an adult, I only have one parent, so I’m counting on my father to be there for the ending of my life, as he wasn’t really there for the beginning.

Its kinda funny, when my mother was alive, she would say I don’t defend her enough when my father was talking trash, then when I would see my father he would say the same ish. I’m sure there were things my mother could’ve told me about my dad, but she didn’t. She knew that was my guy, regardless of the moments my father missed out on. I try every single day, not to be this bitter woman because of my father. I try to express myself to him but the truth hurts especially when you can still make changes and choose not to.

Tristan J.