Dating Isn’t Free

I’ve always wondered how men approach dating, how they decided where they should take a date, if they thought through how the evening would go, was any real planning involved or if they just showed up and winged the whole shit. I had a very brief conversation with a friend tonight who stated something along the lines of women only care about a man’s money, and they don’t be wanting to date a broke man. To me, there are degrees of broke so I questioned the word broke but he didn’t break down what he meant by broke.

I can ONLY speak for myself, but I don’t want to date a broke man. Broke being the inability to take US on a date, such as dinner and a movie and the like. I honestly believe myself to be a woman who likes a variety of dates, I’m extremely happy going to The MET museum, and it’s free but it does Cost to date! How will we get to know each other if I never see you interact in social settings. As a grown ass woman, with standards, I shouldn’t have to deprive myself of the activities I like to partake in because you can’t afford to participate. If I love to travel, but you hate to explore a new country, does that mean I should give up my love for travel?

Just like you should live within your mean, you should also date your wage. Perhaps there’s a girl out there that enjoys meeting up to chill, or solely talking on the phone for months at a time. I know that wouldn’t work for me. However if you are upfront with what you expect while dating, lord knows this will save everyone time and energy.

Tristan Jonez

Chief Don’t Run.

So who’s responsibility was it to tell me all about Jidenna? Cuz y’all dropped the ball miserably. Why wasn’t I told about how amazing as an artist this man is? Or at the very minimum, why didn’t anyone tell me about his album? Shame on you guys for trying to keep this talent away from me! For the past week I’ve been obsessed with his music! Between Jidenna and Wale, I have my music palette filled. It’s weird because when I think I am done with listening to The Chief, I’m right back to bumping it.

So … because I am a Johnny come late with everything, especially music, I am out of luck in securing tickets for his tour. Yup! I will not be seeing Jidenna perform anything live! I am so heartbroken as I KNOW his album would be the truth. I’ve never seen him perform any of his songs, or even seen any videos from him but I know he would just give his all to us, the fans. Especially since he came to Molly’s (perceived) rescue on Insecure… I know, I know, that’s not real life, but hey! Do you guys have any favorite songs from this album? It took me forever to narrow it down to just three, but the whole album is FIRE!

Top Three: Chief don’t run, Bambi, The Let Out… Honorable mention Little Bit More, Helicopters / Beware, Some Kind of Way and Trampoline

Tristan Jonez

SweetShop

A trip, any destination, virtually means nothing without a trip to a cupcake shop. While in Salt Lake City, I just had to sample one of the Best Cupcake shop, which happened to be Sweet Cake Bake Shop located in Downtown Utah. The shop is nestled on a cute lil street next to a few eateries.

Of course being the person I am I arrive twenty minutes before closing time, so I kept it simple with three mini cupcakes, chocolate, hummingbird and carrot cake. (Sorry, No Red Velvet this time) Surprisingly the Carrot Cake was my absolute favorite, it was like biting into a sunny day the first day after rain. So super moist but not overly sweet. It was perfection. Chocolate would have to be second as it was almost too sweet but they somehow managed to add just the right mixture. Unfortunately hummingbird fell flat, it just had no umph, no kick.

I must say this was a “sweet” stop in my exploration of Utah. If ever in Utah, be sure to add Sweet Cake on your list of stops.

Sweet Cake Bake Shop

457 E 300th S

Salt Lake City, Utah 84111
Tristan Jonez

BlessingsonBlessings

Well Are you?

I’ve learned, especially this current year that I offer all my biggest blessings to my friends, if in need. I believe that as a friend I’m supposed to be there when my friends are in need. It surprised me to find out that there are friends out there that are not extending their biggest blessings.

And if you found out someone wasn’t offering you their biggest blessing can they really be considered a friend? Sorry but they cannot. Take this as an example, this week you just don’t have enough money to buy yourself groceries. As a friend if I know this, and I do not volunteer to help with either the buying of groceries, or cooking for you or even giving you what I have in my fridge, whatever I can do for you. No way am I saying you should put yourself in the hole BUT if you aren’t offering your BIGGEST blessing then what are you offering?

And the biggest blessings doesn’t have to be monetary. I have a friend whom I love dearly, and for me the biggest blessing he’s blessed me with has been his amazing listening ear, providing his time for ‘advice time’ and his unwavering loyalty. I’ve learned who my friends are just by their actions, don’t bind yourself to someone who isn’t tipping the scale equal. I honestly believe if you receive a blessing, it’s not yours to keep forever tucked away in your pocket. Be a true blessing to someone else and offer your biggest blessing.

Tristan J

Incredible Unicorn

Big Up to Netflix.

I just finished watching The Incredible Jessica James and I think I need to watch that shit again! How can you not love a woman who speaks her mind, on a first tender date, letting this man know he’s getting no sex. Classic. Such a self assured blk woman, but is she really so self assured?

I love that we got to see into her “family” life, when she returns home for her sister’s baby shower. Even I felt as if she didn’t belong there, or she too would get “sucked” into that complacent lifestyle. Kudos to her for getting out! I love that we are able to see Jessica And Boone go thru their break up (to other people) but still try to figure out wtf they are doing with to and with one another. An unlikely pairing, blossoms, awkwardly at times, into something that could be more for both. I throughly enjoyed the interaction between Jessica and Boone. I’m a bit sadden that it was a movie, and now I’m stuck creating a part two in my head.

The Incredible Jessica James is currently showing on Netflix. If you do have it, get the password from a friend!

Tristan Jonez

Drink?

Thirsty.

I had to have a conversation with myself last night. I was being a bit thirsty, and it was coming off as desperation when I looked at my words/actions. As much as you don’t want to be single, don’t force it. Things should have a nice flow to it, and if you find yourself trying to create a vibe, instead of letting a vibe grow organically, you might be coming off as thirsty too.

As much as I want to be done with this dating nonsense, I can’t fake chemistry where there is none. I remember dating this one guy that was amazing! Super supportive, kind, genuinely liked me, but for me there was no spark! I thought he was dope as hell, but I didn’t feel anything. Dating him was out of the box for me, he was nothing that I would go for but my dating preferences can’t be trusted. How effed up would I have been if I continue to date this amazing man who I had no interest in?

Ultimately you have to stay true to yourself and sometimes even check yourself!

Jonez

Bwn Suga

I Always come back to “Brown Sugar” featuring Sanaa Lathan and Taye Diggs. It’s just that feel great movie, that will forever remain a classic synonymous with black love.

The perfect line I’ve ever heard was “You are a perfect verse over a tight beat” Oh shit! I definitely didn’t appreciate that when I first fell in love with this film. I hadn’t experienced life in a way, that causes you to appreciate it. Do you know how many rappers, no artists, create a career attempting to find the perfect beat, to go with the perfect verse? Forever man! Honestly That’s the sweetest line a man could ever use, especially when he sincerely means it.

Here’s to finding your classic verse over a dope beat.

Tristan Jonez

JJ

Laughed. Cried. Then Laughed again.

Kudos to author Tia Williams, this book has captured my heart! Being as single as I am, this book just reaffirmed the sappy romantic side of me. I’m still reeling from the ending of the book. I feel, a part of me feels excited that I got to meet these two amazing people, Jenna and Eric.

I was able to have a front row seat to not only their love but their flaws, their emotions and their weaknesses. Obviously I’m the reader but I enjoyed the transparency of the characters. I am Jenna, and Eric at the same time. I am Darcy and Brian and Jinx. I’m human. The Emotions I’m experiencing during this weird time of singleton (real word?) are valid!

I’m learning to embrace what I feel as I feel it. Embrace it, learn from it then move the eff on. I recently felt myself getting so frustrated with “love” that I started pushing all notions of love and dating to the depths of my soul, locked away. This book has made me realize there is a perfect find, and sometimes, most times, you don’t have to do a thang to experience it, besides being you.

Patience will Attract everything you’re looking for.

Tristan J.

WALE!

Even though I am a Baltimore Chick through and through, I Love Wale!! I know I know, he’s from DC and this is a forbidden love, but I can’t help it. There’s something about him musically that I can not get enough of. It’s like he knows everything about me so he writes songs that speaks directly to me. There hasn’t been an album released by my boo Wale that I didn’t love and rock until I couldn’t listen anymore.

I’m currently obsessing over his latest release, SHINE. I believe this is his best work to date. However I always feel like he continuously pushes himself, with each album release. I love that he has incorporated more of the sounds from his country, although he does have more features this time around. I honestly couldn’t pick my top three but I forced myself to do so.

Top Three: My Love, Fashion Week and My PYT … honorable mention CC White.

Tristan Jonez.

SideNote: Wale’s Summer on Sunset (Mixtape) is Fire. It’s unfortunate that I haven’t been able to put the album on my phone and Spotify is not up on game. If you get the chance to listen to the album, Please listen to Day by the pool, its ridiculously sick!

Include Me Plz

This weekend I was a bit blue.

So Girls’ Trip, the movie, came out, and I wasn’t included in any of my group of friends conversation of attending. I know I am a bit of a solo dolo chick, who surely will pass on a group trip, but I love the movies! I was in my feelings of not being asked to attend, I’ve since got over that feeling but I realized that folks just want to be included in the plans that are being created. I wasn’t invited for whatever reason but I just chalk it up to people knowing I’m a dedicated workaholic.

However I do need to shout out, no #IGMOSHE, out of the friends that I do have he was the only person who invited me out to go see the movie, even though he definitely has no interest in it.

-Tristan Jonez

November Rule (Reviewish)

For me to be so single, I sure picked a romantic movie to watch!

So November Rule, directed by Mike Elliott, is a black indie film, that I loved! (FYI I’m not sure why Tyga is in the poster for the movie, he was featured for half a second!) Don’t let that discourage you! Sneaker heads will enjoy for the multiple rare shoe sightings!

To sum up the movie, boy meets girl, boy likes girl, but breaks up with said girl as to not have to partake in any holiday events. Girl moves on with new boy but new boy is just as douchey as old boy. Old boy realizes he wants girl but girl no longer wants him.

You’ll love it, I promise. Just go watch the film! It’s definitely Netflix & Chill worthy.

Jonez

SideNote: LaLa does a really good job in this movie, as well as Jay Ellis, however he came off moreso bipolar than asshole.

Level up Player

“You deserve Better” – A Man

I’m tired of that being the most used excuse. Just BE better. As a Man when do you make the choice to level up? What makes you want to level up and be better? What becomes your motivation for “better”? Now honestly I believe that statement to be an excuse, a reason to continue to do fck shit. You’ve found the woman of your wildest dreams. The person you couldn’t think you would ever be able to capture their attention… you did it. However now that you have, you have absolutely no plan as to keep her attention. Why? You had a plan of how to get her but none as to keep her?

With all the planning that goes into pursing the woman you want, to get to know her and realize she’s ambitious, and intelligent then to tell her she deserves better? You damn right she does! She deserves someone willing to level up to match her ambition, her intelligence, her drive. Men what’s up with y’all lately?

Tristan