Light Stealers

Beware, Be Aware of the light stealers, for they are all around you. I would want to believe in my ability to pick folks, to be in my inner circle, that had my best interest at heart. Unfortunately we can be wrong in the folks that we allow to be in our world. Sometimes we elevate and our friends haven’t yet, but they dont know how to be there for you during your time. We may not all find success at the same time, but I can continue to support your efforts even though it may be MY time.

I will always be that chick that supports you. I will always be that friend to be there for you. I’m still learning how to put myself first. I’m never selfish with my time, but I’m learning how to block off chucks of time for my own peace of mind. You have to be aware of those who dont clap when you level up, those are your light stealers. I want to  be apart of a community of women who lift one another up no matter what season of success they are in.

If I can’t be apart, then I’m willing to create it.

Tristan.

Meant for me.

Is there really someone for everyone? What if I never travel outside of my block, my city, how will I find the person who was created for me? What if there a freak accident, and he died before I got the chance to meet him? If I was to meet the person who was created for me, would I be able to recognize him? Would he, me?

Most folks will say I’m thinking too much on this but this is what I think about. I am thirty, so there are events that I wouold like to happen, I am not in a rush to fulfill them BUT I would like them to occur. What If I’m not destined to meet my match until I was 50. Do I wait to have children? Do I wait to get married? My train of thought goes right back to will I ever meet the person who was made for me? What if I met him already, and didnt realize this was the man I was meant for? What the hell do I do then?

I wish this was easier. I wish this was simpler. But Its not, and I’m still stuck without knowing where the man that is for me, is currently located.

Tristan

W.T.F.

A friend of mine asked what I wanted to do with my life, at first I told him I do not know. And I was being honest, I really dont have a clue as to what I want to do with the rest of my life, but then I thought about it. All I want to do is write, travel and fight crime.

Writing is my passion. Nothing makes me happier than being able to pick up a pen, put it to paper and create something. Some body of work that will live on forever, there’s no greater feeling than knowing my children’s children will be able to pick up my book and read it if they so choose. Travel is the embodiment of freedom. I know folks who are content with never leaving their city, but for me that will never suffice. I need to see. I need to feel. I need to immerse myself in a new culture, new life, new surrounding as I will die without it. I’m definitely not a superhero but I want to fight crime as one. I’ve always been interested in juvenile justice, and how it affects my community when someone who looks like me, goes to ‘juvy’, then gets out with no tools to begin again. I’m looking to change that reality, by starting within my community then expanding.

What do you want to do with your life?

Tristan.

First Date Sex

If I choose to have sex with you, that is my choice. Whether it is the first date or the tenth, it is my choice what I’d like to do with my body. As a man you are always within your right to decline any advances, but you cant partake then call me names after. I am well aware of the double standard that men and women adhere to but I’m not with it. As a woman I should be able to make any decisions I’d like to, as long as I can live with them. I am an adult, a true blue grown up, who takes care of herself, so my body is my decision.

I was with my ex-boyfriend for five years, and we had sex on the first date. We had been talking for weeks, and when we finally met there was an electricity that was uncontrollable. I can’t say love at first sight but it was something indescribable. All I know is I got Goosebumps that night when I saw him walking towards me. Would I change what I did that night, definitely not. I had an enjoyable time! I am a walking contradiction, as much as I believe intimacy should be shared within two people with feelings for each other, I am also all for scratching an itch.

I dont judge. I just want you to be an adult while making adult decisions, and be prepared for the consequences. So enjoy, and make sure you bring protection and toys with you.

Tristan.

Touch Me. Please.

I want to be in a relationship! I’m over being single! I know I just wrote the other day, that I’m happy I’m not dating, and I’m sticking to that but I’m not asking to date. I want to be married with kids already. Being single sucks some days! Like I have human interactions daily, I probably had my fill of human interaction to last me for a life time. What I’m missing is human touch. If you are single like me, try this and tell me if it doesn’t bring you almost to tears.

First keep an Open Mind. That is key to this exercise.

Is your mind opened? Good. Give someone a 20 second hug. No more, no less. The person hugging you can count out loud to twenty to keep track. Feel free to close your eyes, and really soak in that body to body contact. This first time I did this, I had been single for seven months and I was feeling … every bit of single. That 20 second hug, made me feel the most loved I had in months, and it came from a semi stranger.

Human touch is so powerful. That’s one major downfall of being single, I dont receive human touch as much as I would like or need.

Tristan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stay an EX

When you create an Ex, change ur number! Block their number! Do whatever you have to so that you are not in contact with your ex. So after a beat I’m usually able to be friends with an ex, but it obviously depends on how we broke up, and what happened during the relationship. However I can be a weirdo, and be like I just dont want to be bothered with that person, and never have contact with them. The older I get the more I just dont feel like being nice, eff you. You’re an Ex, be that and stay the hell in my past.

So recently I was dating a man, and things were going so great. I was even considering moving to Philadelphia as that’s where he lived, and I wanted to be as close as I could to him. Unfortunately I was just meeting his representative cuz after a few months I got to see the real him and I didnt like what I saw. I’m a person who loves to go out, see the world outside of my bedroom, my block, my city. When I decide to be involved with another human being, that’s not my cue to JUST be cuddled up. HELL NO! Homie thought I was going to be alright with being told we was only going to have three date nights a month! When you decided to be exclusive you cant get comfortable, you have to do the same things you did in the beginning, because there are still going to be men thirsty for your shorty. Dont think she will not leave your ass for someone who appreciates her. Men have this all twisted, I will leave. I can like/love you and still leave. Homie hit me up tonight, but I just dont believe a relationship is doable between the two of us. Plus he has moved on, which is his right to do so. I can’t be mad, but be honest about what it is. You are most definitely allowed to miss me, but dont come back to me once you’ve started dealing with the next.

Dont downplay the relationship you have with this chick. Its not my job to respect her but it is your responsibility. Lord knows I would hate it, if the guy I’m newly with is chatting it up with his last. Nope. Then yall wonder why I said I’m not dating anymore.

Tristan.

Bald But Insecure

I’m not entirely sure why I cut my hair off. I was in a good space, I didnt have any men problems, work was cool. I had been thinking about cutting my hair for some time. It was in a short style for a bit but I was maintaining it. Honestly If I had to think of a reason as to why I would cut all my hair off, I would say I was just tired of it. I was tired of going to the salon, I was tired of having to sleep every so lightly so I wouldn’t mess a curl up, I was just tired of it all. Since I was single I didnt have to take my significant others’ opinion of my hair. I was absolutely free to do whatever I wanted to do so I did.

August 27th, I cut it completely off and I absolutely hated it. I would like to point out I was a bit pressured but ultimately it was my decision. I was 100% was mortified of what I had done. But I put that confident face on, and went on about my day, my week, my month. A few months have gone by and between you & I, I’m still a bit insecure about not having any hair. Ladies, there is hope on the other side, its only hair and it WILL grow back, I promise you. I fight daily, like am I pretty enough? Being damn there bald, makes you not be able to hide behind anything! There’s no barrier between you and the rest of the World, which can be both good and bad.

I salute the women who before me, have revealed in their bald beauty! I think you are so beautiful, and I can only hope to one day, be as confident as you are. Thank you!

Tristan.

Shout Out to the men who have told me how beautiful I am.