Travel Packs

Fun Fact: I rather not travel in a group.

Its easier for me to make all the decisions, and not have to confer with someone else about what they would like to do. There have been times where I’ll travel to a tropical destination and all I want to do is lounge on the beach reading a book. Yes, I will travel hours via air to just sit on a beach. If I was in a group I may not have the luxury of only doing what I want to do. Now, while I’m willing to be a team player and participate in touristy activities, its not my ideal vacation. Although traveling in a group is very avoidable, I have one rule that I live by to keep it stress-free if I must travel with others.

Communication
It is your money, so speak up. If you’d rather opt out of the tour bus, or a visit to the chocolate factory, make your voice known. Respectfully, of course. This is your trip too, so if there’s something you dont want to do, say something. If you want to explore solo, make that known too, preferably before the trip so your travel mates understand that you’re going to block some alone time. If you are picky about the type of hotel you’d like to stay in, or if you have a max price you aren’t willing to go above, let that be known too. Essentially, everyone in the group should have some sort of say in where you all will be staying. Unless ya’ll, as a group, have chosen someone who is known to get the best price or who is able to combine what everyone is looking for and find suitable options. Several options should be listed so it could be majority wins, listing one hotel, is unacceptable, folks would like to have choices.
I’m big on staying away from the tourist traps, dont get me wrong, I’ll visit the Empire State blgd’s of the World but I dont want that to be the only type of places on my agenda. If I can I want to submerge myself in the culture, and what better way than with food. As selective as I might be when it comes to food, I keep a wide open mind! Dont be afraid to break away from the group if you have to. Put your free time to good use! What’s been ‘planned’ may not be for you. I’m more of a go with the flow, get lost in where you are type of gal. I’m perfectly at home with walking around a particular area, if the vibes are good.
I just cant stress enough the importance of communicating with the folks you are traveling with! Learn from me, I went on a vacation to Europe, and it was one of the worst experiences I ever had. The city I visited was amazing but the company I was with, put a strain on my experience. So much so that I’ve declined every group trip I’ve been invited on. Some of that was because I didnt not speak up, I just went with whatever was happening and I’ll never do that again.

Tristan.

Cold Turkey

Some folks you have to cut off and quit cold turkey. I was dating someone who I was really feeling but after a while it was apparent that we was not compatible. However no matter how much I would dead him, and break things off. I would eventually go back, or he would return. I couldn’t and still cant understand what made him so special that I would be willing to put my sanity on the line to date him.

After going back and forth within myself, plus making up to break up, I had to make a decision. I was done with him for good… for good measure I even blocked him. After some time, I unblocked him. Silly me.  Maybe I wanted him to reach out being the person I wanted him to be. Well he did reach out but everything was still the same. I’m not sure why I thought things would be different, he had told me he wasn’t going to change who he was. We even made plans to meet up and hang out, before that day came, I made my final decision to leave this man alone. Especially since he had moved on, and was dating someone new. I’m not sure why he was still reaching out to me, when it was very clear he was content with the person he was currently dating. Although I had played myself, I wasn’t so far gone that I couldn’t end this fuck*ry.

It’s never too late to right your own wrong.

Tristan

Hello Gents?

Do gentlemen still exist?

I promise you I am not trying to start anything but lately my observation shows me, there are no more gentlemen in this World. I can’t stand to see men sitting down while there are pregnant or elderly women standing up. Like, Mister get your ass up. Another human being shouldn’t have to ask you to give up your seat, as this should be common practice. I know for a fact that if that was your elderly ass mother on the bus, about to fall over, but yet not one male offered her a seat, you have an issue. Another thing, men why do you run for seats? The fare you pay is for the ability to get on the train/bus it does not guarantee a seat. Every time I see you run for a seat, you are no longer a man, you are now a female.

I just want to see men doing king sh!t. One thing I loved about living in Baltimore, was even the most ruthless had a gentlemen code. It was always yes ma’am, no ma’am. Dont get it twisted that same gentlemen was a straight gangster who normally didnt have to kill anyone to get respect. I’m not sure where or who this new ‘man’ was raised by but unfortunately you have failed. I need people to go back to teaching respect as it once was. When I actually have a daughter, I want to be sure there will be a gentleman out here for her to meet.

Tristan.

Light Stealers

Beware, Be Aware of the light stealers, for they are all around you. I would want to believe in my ability to pick folks, to be in my inner circle, that had my best interest at heart. Unfortunately we can be wrong in the folks that we allow to be in our world. Sometimes we elevate and our friends haven’t yet, but they dont know how to be there for you during your time. We may not all find success at the same time, but I can continue to support your efforts even though it may be MY time.

I will always be that chick that supports you. I will always be that friend to be there for you. I’m still learning how to put myself first. I’m never selfish with my time, but I’m learning how to block off chucks of time for my own peace of mind. You have to be aware of those who dont clap when you level up, those are your light stealers. I want to  be apart of a community of women who lift one another up no matter what season of success they are in.

If I can’t be apart, then I’m willing to create it.

Tristan.

Meant for me.

Is there really someone for everyone? What if I never travel outside of my block, my city, how will I find the person who was created for me? What if there a freak accident, and he died before I got the chance to meet him? If I was to meet the person who was created for me, would I be able to recognize him? Would he, me?

Most folks will say I’m thinking too much on this but this is what I think about. I am thirty, so there are events that I wouold like to happen, I am not in a rush to fulfill them BUT I would like them to occur. What If I’m not destined to meet my match until I was 50. Do I wait to have children? Do I wait to get married? My train of thought goes right back to will I ever meet the person who was made for me? What if I met him already, and didnt realize this was the man I was meant for? What the hell do I do then?

I wish this was easier. I wish this was simpler. But Its not, and I’m still stuck without knowing where the man that is for me, is currently located.

Tristan

W.T.F.

A friend of mine asked what I wanted to do with my life, at first I told him I do not know. And I was being honest, I really dont have a clue as to what I want to do with the rest of my life, but then I thought about it. All I want to do is write, travel and fight crime.

Writing is my passion. Nothing makes me happier than being able to pick up a pen, put it to paper and create something. Some body of work that will live on forever, there’s no greater feeling than knowing my children’s children will be able to pick up my book and read it if they so choose. Travel is the embodiment of freedom. I know folks who are content with never leaving their city, but for me that will never suffice. I need to see. I need to feel. I need to immerse myself in a new culture, new life, new surrounding as I will die without it. I’m definitely not a superhero but I want to fight crime as one. I’ve always been interested in juvenile justice, and how it affects my community when someone who looks like me, goes to ‘juvy’, then gets out with no tools to begin again. I’m looking to change that reality, by starting within my community then expanding.

What do you want to do with your life?

Tristan.

First Date Sex

If I choose to have sex with you, that is my choice. Whether it is the first date or the tenth, it is my choice what I’d like to do with my body. As a man you are always within your right to decline any advances, but you cant partake then call me names after. I am well aware of the double standard that men and women adhere to but I’m not with it. As a woman I should be able to make any decisions I’d like to, as long as I can live with them. I am an adult, a true blue grown up, who takes care of herself, so my body is my decision.

I was with my ex-boyfriend for five years, and we had sex on the first date. We had been talking for weeks, and when we finally met there was an electricity that was uncontrollable. I can’t say love at first sight but it was something indescribable. All I know is I got Goosebumps that night when I saw him walking towards me. Would I change what I did that night, definitely not. I had an enjoyable time! I am a walking contradiction, as much as I believe intimacy should be shared within two people with feelings for each other, I am also all for scratching an itch.

I dont judge. I just want you to be an adult while making adult decisions, and be prepared for the consequences. So enjoy, and make sure you bring protection and toys with you.

Tristan.