DearDad

I’m not sure why you’ve stopped answering my calls, or even making any of your own. I can’t remember the last time you’ve asked how I’m doing, or inquired about my new position at work. I do however remember you telling me I need to get over how I was feeling, that you are who you are, and nothing was going to change. I know that I’ve become the parent, and I had to check on you because the roles had reversed. I accepted that responsibility, but it also left no room for me to seek advice from you, as the only response I would receive would be nonsense. You always made it a point to ask about when I would be having children, but never wanted to inquire about how my social life was going. Do you have grandchildren money? I doubt it, so I will have children at my own pace, just like I’ve done in other areas of my Life.

I’m baffled, honestly.

I’m elated that you have two god children, you were granted a do-over of sorts. So this time around do everything opposite. Be there more, Listen more, Participate more, be the shining example because you have these two little impressionable minds that are looking to you as a role model. Be that Example I know you can be. Love you forever.

Tristan Jonez.

ImLosing

Every time I took the focus off myself and my goals, I took a Loss. When I started focusing on the people around me and how I could be a better friend, a better lover, a better whatever, I took a loss. I’m learning that I have to be all those things to myself first.

I don’t play soccer, but I would believe the concept is the same, if you’re a player and you take your eye off the ball, you lose. You open yourself up to someone coming in and stealing you shine, stealing your play, basically stealing your ball. Don’t take your eyes off the ball!

As far as I know this is my only version of this life, So I’m going to make sure I kill it!

Jonez.

In my feels

Sometimes you have to sit back and look at all the amazing things that are happening in your life and appreciate them. I’m so freaking blessed, that it’s pointless to even list everything that’s going on. Do I have areas of opportunity (improvements) yes plenty, but I’m going to focus on all that’s currently making me happy.

After forever of trying, my booty is bigger! 🙌🏾 Ladies, Walk! It’s the root of all good things. I’ve been drinking water like it’s going out of style, so my skin is looking like a beautiful chocolate bar! I’m edible. I’ve been making it a priority to hang out, to see new things in my own city, and I’ve been loving it. Queens still sucks but I’m managing well. My small circle of friends have been showing out lately! Making me feel like the luckiest girl, shout out to NoIGMoshè!

Sure there’s a million things going severely wrong but I ain’t worried bout that! Nah I’m going to focus on the blessings that are pouring down on me. You should do the same, if you aren’t! Lovessssss you!

Jonezy

LilMiss Katy Perry

I’ve always been a Katy Perry fan, Always.

However, with her newest release I found myself not really caring much about it. I wasn’t actively seeking out any new music from her. As a black woman, I love when artist include my culture in their music, but it needs to be genuine. Don’t stan my culture because you have new music coming out and need some type of an edge. I’m sure I borrow and incorporate other cultures into my life but I am still true to who I am.

Although, Katy is an artist, I felt I recognized her as that artist. With the new album, Witness, I didn’t know who the hell she was. As a fan, I didn’t recognize her. I am all for evolving, I think as a woman, you should be applauded for finding the courage to change. As an artist, I want you to experiment with music and sounds, I want you to find sounds that make your own heart beat, but I want you to try to stay true to your hard core audience. If you want to add some soul, please do. BUT don’t create a whole new persona, that a fan, such as myself, cant recognize you.

I am always willing to give the music a chance. I may not like/love who ‘Katy Perry’ is currently but I cant deny her music speaks volumes to me.

Tristan Jonez

Side Note: If you decide to give the album a chance my favorite songs are Tsunami, Chained to the Rhythm and the very soulful Pendulum.

Listen.

When is enough, enough? What is your limit?

I’ve reached, No, I’ve surpassed my limit. While I will continue being the amazingly nice woman I am, I am no longer catering to anyone’s feelings. Especially when my feelings are never a pause for concern. I don’t remember folks, making sure I was alright, BEFORE, doing me dirty. I can’t remember someone handling me with kids gloves so I am not sparing feelings anymore. If I don’t set limits for myself and what I’ll allow then I’m just setting myself up for people to treat me however they feel I deserve.

Once folks have crossed the line, how do you remedy that?

Jonez

#DiningwithDariusCooks

Here’s my story.

As y’all know I had promised myself since I had previously went to three (!!!) #DiningwithDariusCooks I didn’t need to attend anymore. However because I had talked about him and his events (So Much) I had friends who had yet to experience the splendor, so when tickets became available for New York, they purchased tickets, and wanted me to tag along. Although I had just came back from the Chicago date a few weeks earlier, and I really didn’t want to go to the New York date, I still purchased a ticket. I couldn’t let my friends have a ‘house party’ without me, so of course I was down to go again.

Well the day was coming up, and we are all so excited! I’m telling them all about the past dates and how much fun I had with the other guests, including my friends outside of work. So you can imagine the disappointment, when there was no event. Yup, it was cancelled but I did NOT receive any notice of the cancellation. I sent an email, and my friend also sent an email, to which we did not receive a reply. It just so happened, Darius started a Live on Instagram, to which I sent a message, and he stated “I’m not on here to talk about Dining with Darius Cooks but the event was cancelled, check your spam” Now being that I’ve been THREE TIMES BEFORE I know to check my spam, and yet there was nothing there. I even had my friend check her inbox and spam boxes, same thing, no email! So I didn’t trip, I was just like I understand that he has a lot going on, since he had recently opened his restaurant but I’m annoyed. IF you were going to canceled an event, at least have the imagination to call the folks, personally, or have someone who works with you call, if you were too busy to do it yourself.

The event was scheduled to take place on June 19, I submitted my request for a refund, but I am STILL patiently waiting. I’m unclear as to why it is taking this long, but its a lesson learned. Like I Said in the beginning, I may be able to support him later on but as for right now, I’m 100% good on him. However It did create a bad impression for my friends who purchased tickets, and were left to figure out the next steps they should take.

I think I may still tap him to be the chef for my wedding, as his food is that good! Unless I find a Chef I vibe with, then that’s a wrap! However I definitely wish him the very best!

Tristan Jonez.

Check Myself.

This morning when I woke up I was in such a shitty mood. I was mad at the World, mad at my friends, or lack of, I was just Mad AF. I lay in a bed a few minutes after the alarm went off, just dreading getting out of bed. Then I had to check myself. How dare I even fix my face to be mad? There are folks in this World who didn’t have the opportunity to wake up, who didn’t have the opportunity to feel anything, and yet here I am, with the nerve to be upset?

Everything is ALL about perspective. I better wake up with a smile on my face, as I was given the chance to be better, do better, make the World in which I live, better. I was granted another day to live out my wildest dreams, so I have absolutely nothing to be mad about!

When needed, how do you check yourself?

Jonezy

Vent Tent.

I am a final destination for the person who is supposed to be with me. I am not a pit stop for those trying to find their way through life’s journey! I know I am amazing! I am dedicated to doing almost whatever is necessary to ensure a man reaches his potential. However I am not here to be a step stool, nah. It’s possible I’m just in feels right now, cuz I am so tired of men having their hand out for what they believe I should be doing for them. When did it become my job to court a man? Is it also my job to my open the door for my date, pick up my date from his house? What else am I now required to do for a man?

I ask for consistency. I’m sure there are many other things I ask for from a man but everything I ask for I can give and am willing to give. I KNOW I can play the game just like, if not better than a man. But who the hell has time for that? Certainly not I. So … for the time being I will be focusing on what I need to do to better myself. When the time is right, my King will make himself known. Until then, I’m just out here living Life.

Thank you for letting me vent!

Jonezy

Back Home.

Why are we always so quick to be there for those who have hurt us but don’t make the same exceptions for those who have always been there? I don’t know the answer but I intend to change that immediately.

This evening my older cousin called to let me know she had experienced a heart attack. A Fckin Heart Attack! Although I was elated to know she was alright, it made me realize I’m not there as much as I should be for the family that has shown me they love me to the moon and back. For those readers who don’t know I am from Baltimore, Md. I spent my adolescent there but when I left in 2004, I haven’t really come back as often as I would like to. I always find a convenient excuse to tell my family/friends. When my mother first died it was extremely hard to go back to Baltimore because EVERYTHING reminded me of my mother. However with this realization, that my family isn’t going to be around forever, makes me want to spend as much time with them as I can.

Jonez.

SideNote: Don’t wait until folks have died to bring them flowers, Let them smell them while they are Alive!

Wake Up Mr.West

I am a Kanye West Fan.

I’ve loved him since College Dropout, its only an incredible plus that he’s from Chicago. (I Love everything Chicago) Mr.West early music is still poppin’. I know if it was played at any function or event it would rock the hell out of it. Although his new music is cool, I can’t help but to listen to his earlier works. Tonight while allowing my creative juices to flow, I started with Chance the Rapper’s Coloring Book but the first song to play was “No Problems” f/ Kanye West. So it was only natural, that I had to shuffle his whole catalog.

Fun Fact, 808s & Heartbreak is my favorite album. It is such a well put together album, Kanye is such a freaking genius for that album! I can (and do) Listen to the whole album, from from to back, then again shuffled. I add the shuffle feature so I’ll be surprised as to which songs will play. Although I do love Mr. West, I do feel as if he has gotten away from the type of music I would like him to create. With that said I do understand the need to be creative and move past what’s been created, and satisfy the need to create, not only more but what new.

Jonez.

Kayden.

Meet My Heart in Human Form, Kayden!

My nephew is such an incredible human being. I am so blessed to have been chosen to be his aunt. I know everyone think that their nephew is the best thing out there since Wheat bread but Sorry, I already called dibs on that! KJ is such a warm spirit that makes me laugh until my stomach hurts, until tears are streaming down my face, he just makes everything that is complicated in this World, uncomplicated.

KJ is the easiest answer to the most difficult questions in Life. Every analogy that you would want to use to describe him, would suffice. He is the sunshine to my Thunderstorm, I don’t think I have ever loved someone the way I love my Kayden. The best thing about him, even when he hasn’t seen me in a while, he makes me feel like I’m right up there with Spiderman and the Ninja Turtles.

I couldn’t even begin to tell you guys how much this little person means to me. All I can say is I’m the most blessed person that’s ever lived, all because this lil boy loves me unconditionally. And I … I love him more than life itself.

Tristan

#RiskHappy

A Huge Shout Out to the Amazing folks over at #RiskHappy! Huge Huge Shout Out!

I can’t even begin to question why these amazing folks slid into my DM to Thank me?! For Guess What? For Supporting Them! Listen Linda!

If you are unfamiliar with #RiskHappy, first take the time to check out their website, Riskhappy.co // The Purpose of #RiskHappy is a stance against comfort zones (I love mine) insecurity, mediocrity, and the like. Their Goal is to help people become friends with fear.

As Scared as I am with the projects I’m currently working on, I find myself heading over to #RiskHappy Instagram quite often to not only finding inspiration but to be motivated by the stories that are featured.

Its funny too, because (The day they reached out) someone was just telling me how much of an unhappy person I was, and here #RiskHappy comes along showing that clearly I’m not as unhappy as this man was trying to tell me I was. All you had to do is BE YOU, and those folks that are supposed to be in your life will be! The people who are supposed to help you grow will do so. What is meant for you, will ALWAYS be yours! PERIOD! Just a tad bit of math, #RiskHappy has 21.3K followers, and yet they were still able to Reach out to me, with my amazing 754 followers! I am not questioning why they chose to reach out to me, just thanking them for doing so! I appreciate you more than my words could ever describe.

Thank you again!

Tristan Jonez