#RiskHappy

A Huge Shout Out to the Amazing folks over at #RiskHappy! Huge Huge Shout Out!

I can’t even begin to question why these amazing folks slid into my DM to Thank me?! For Guess What? For Supporting Them! Listen Linda!

If you are unfamiliar with #RiskHappy, first take the time to check out their website, Riskhappy.co // The Purpose of #RiskHappy is a stance against comfort zones (I love mine) insecurity, mediocrity, and the like. Their Goal is to help people become friends with fear.

As Scared as I am with the projects I’m currently working on, I find myself heading over to #RiskHappy Instagram quite often to not only finding inspiration but to be motivated by the stories that are featured.

Its funny too, because (The day they reached out) someone was just telling me how much of an unhappy person I was, and here #RiskHappy comes along showing that clearly I’m not as unhappy as this man was trying to tell me I was. All you had to do is BE YOU, and those folks that are supposed to be in your life will be! The people who are supposed to help you grow will do so. What is meant for you, will ALWAYS be yours! PERIOD! Just a tad bit of math, #RiskHappy has 21.3K followers, and yet they were still able to Reach out to me, with my amazing 754 followers! I am not questioning why they chose to reach out to me, just thanking them for doing so! I appreciate you more than my words could ever describe.

Thank you again!

Tristan Jonez

But Why?

Elevation Requires Separation; Fortunately OR Unfortunately?

Not Sometimes, Not when its convenient, not when everyone is on the same page, Always and usually when you least want to separate. I never separate because I want to, I usually venture out on my own because If I stay where and how I am, I’ll literally die. Yes, I am usually by myself but only because I seriously enjoy my own company but I love to include others into my World. At times I find that If I do not separate and do my own thing, I’ll never do the things I want to do.

Right now I’m working on two projects, well trying to work on them both. Sometimes I want to have folks to discuss what I should do. Does this font go, can I scrap this, should I release a limited edition, should I add my own notes, etc but the more I work on my projects, I feel like my circle has gotten so incredibly small. I feel myself pushing myself to a new plateau, a new height, and I welcome that feeling, but to reach the next I have to, if only momentarily, create a lil distance from the life I’ve known for the life I want to live.

SideNote: Have you all had to separate in order to move two steps forward? How did you do this without offending anyone?

Jonezy

Unpacked.

Sometimes I honestly feel as if I don’t really have anyone to lean on. Better yet, I don’t feel as if I can unpack all the shit that weighs me down to someone and have them be equal parts understanding, and non judgmental. Basically I need me a ‘me’. I’ve perfected the art of being a friend, and I hate myself a lil for it. I wonder if I was less of a friend, if I would have more folks who appreciate me. I check up with people who I haven’t heard from in a while. I reach out when something seems off about their behavior, especially on social media. If I was needed I would drop everything to be there in person, if thats what it took to get them back to 100% I feel as if I am an after thought, like oh right, I should’ve invited T, or damn I forgot to call T about this event. If I went missing, besides my coworkers, I wonder if anyone would know notice. We have to start being better people to one another, be there for those that are there for us. Im often alone with my thoughts, that I had no choice but to love myself, if I didn’t I would’ve been lost my fuking mind.

I’m learning to unpack for myself. I write the things that I feel are needed to unpack, then I release that shit into the Universe and I move forward. I do my best to see in what areas I can improve in, and do my best to be aware when moving forward. There are days where Im unpacking similar things, but change takes time, so I don’t beat myself up. I just focus more on what I can do to bring about change.

How do you unpack?

Tristan Jonez

Seven Pounds (Reviewish)

Please do not EVER let me watch the movie, ‘Seven Pounds’! Ever!

The credits have finished rolling and I can not stop the tears from falling. I wonder If I could do it, IF I could give up my life to save someone else’s. Not just someone else, a stranger. A total stranger, someone who I had no prior knowledge of their life, only by watching them in the now, being able to figure out what type of person they are. Knowing you are the key to help, but by helping them, you were killing yourself.

I understand why the main character Ben Thomas (Will Smith) felt like he needed to repay what was lost to possibly restore balance in the Universe. Especially since he felt wholly responsible for the accident that claimed the lives of seven beings. Although I understand, I do think he could have repaid the Universe by being an amazing man, helping in all aspects that he could. He was an engineer, that was formally trained at M.I.T. so the ways in which he could repay the Universe back was endless. In a way I do believe him taking his life, although, for a commendable reason was slightly selfish. With Ben committing suicide he no longer had to deal with the emotions stemming from the accident, he no longer had to deal with anything.

What if the accident happened as a part of God’s (Whoever you believe in) plan? What if the lives lost, were due to a greater reason, a greater plan that Ben just wasn’t privy to? The movie leaves me with more questions than answers, however If I have to watch the movie again to get the answers, well then I’ll never have them. Cuz Im not ever going to watch that movie again. Twice was more than enough.

Have you guys seen it?

Tristan Jonez.

DaddyDuties

I can’t remember the last time I had a conversation with my dad. And I can’t tell when the next time we will have one. Well, Father’s Day and his birthday is coming up so I will reach out via text probably. Do you ever get tired of going the extra mile for someone, and they doing the very basic of things for you? Well that’s exactly how I feel about my father. I sometimes wonder If I am the parent, and he is my child. There definitely is a disconnect there, because I know the way I’d like to be parented, and when I try to explain that to my father, he seems to believe he knows more about me, than I do. And because of his will to not change his parenting style, we will continue to not chat as often.

In my defense, I do not ask my father for anything. The only thing I require is love. There is nothing else I would like to have from my father. I’ve been taking care of myself for this long, without his help, so I think I can continue to manage. I don’t want to be a disrespectful kid, but I sometimes want to ask him, if he thinks he is a good parent. If he believes he’s done all he could to ensure I would have the best chance at life. In my opinion he… well my opinion doesn’t matter. Wherever I lack, I make up in other areas, until I am able to work on where I lack. Even though my father isn’t there in a way, that benefits me, I am grateful that I had a mother who was.

Tristan Jonez

The Powerful Tool.

Our mind is the most powerful tool we have, please utilize it! Manifestation is as real as the air we breathe, as real as the water we drink, as real as the God you believe in.

For the past few days, I’ve been thinking about someone I knew when I was seventeen. I visualized his face, I heard his voice in my head, I pictured him in front of me. I didn’t say his name out loud to anyone, and after that moment I continued on with my day. You know business as usual. Well tonight I received a message from said someone. Although I whole heartily believe in my thoughts being able to manifest ANYTHING I can think of, my thoughts have never taken shape as quickly as it did in this instance.

If I was ever looking for one, that was my sign. The sign that told me, Tristan, you got this! Everything you are trying to accomplish, you most definitely will kill that shit. The only requirement is to believe that you CAN kill it, believe that its already yours and it is. All it takes is one moment, to know you are on the right path, even when your ass is in the bushes on the other side of the street. Get your self up, and go to where you need to be!

Tristan Jonez.

GullyDaKid

I had a best friend once.

I thought we would be tight forever. Instead of having a maid of honor, he would be my best man. Never a secret, everything was laid on the line, cuz secrets couldn’t exist between my best friend and I. A sense of sereneity, because trusting someone with your whole entire heart is no easy feat but once its done, its the most bliss you can experience.

Then he falls in love, and you don’t.

And because you don’t fall in love, he begins to resent you. Soon enough, its only silence, on both ends. Whoever said love doesnt complicate life, lied. You even make an attempt to reciprocate those feelings, but even more resentment, cuz its not genuine. Eventually, there’s no hello. No more peace, just a girl wishing she had her best friend back.

I’ll always miss you J.

Tristan Jonez.

Confessions.

I confess …

I’ve never actually seen Waiting to Exhale. (Covers Face)

I know I know that is something that I should have seen way before turning 30! Maybe some of the lessons, lives, situations in the movie, could’ve prepared me for my own life lessons. Who knows? Tonight I was online, and I was able to watch a snippet, and yes! It was a nice little snippet. I am making it my business, to carve out some time, drink a glass or two of wine and watch the movie.

All I really know of the movie, is there are four black friends. When I think back to my own childhood, I grew up with three other female best friends. Surprisingly we all are cordial, and still keep in touch. They all live in Baltimore, so sometimes it makes difficult for me to stay in the loop, but maybe I can plan a girls night in, with Waiting to Exhale being our featured film.

Tracy, Chant, and Ash, I’ll work on that!

Tristan Jonez.

Endings

“I hope you find that fairytale you’re looking for”

If I was looking for a fairytale, I know you wouldn’t be my Prince Charming. Men have a way of projecting their insecurities on the women they claim they would like to date. I want a man to find me, let me be what he is seeking, and push himself to level up to whatever ‘level’ he believes me to be. If being with me, doesn’t make you want to be a better man then I don’t want you. I wanted a completed man but I still want you to be opened to education, and growth. If you believe you are done with all of that, then Im surely not the woman for you.

A man can not tell me he hopes I find what I am looking for when he doesn’t actually know what that is. All he honestly knows, is he isn’t the man that I’m looking for even know I haven’t figured it out yet. Im not looking for perfect, I am only looking for what is genuine. Everything else we can figure out together, if you are coachable. If I can’t tell you how I want to be treated, all the little things, then whats the point? Attraction isn’t enough, cuz once those looks fade, Im sure you’ll appreciate me taking an interest in more than just your face, and body.

And for the man who penned that ridiculous statement, What I seek will make itself available to me ONCE I rid myself of all the current clowns.

Tristan Jonez

Sleepless (Review)

I’m not sure I can give a review of a movie without giving everything away.

I just finished watching Sleepless, starring Jamie Foxx and Michelle Monaghan, and I’ll be the first to say I was pleasantly surprised. I don’t believe adequate press was done for this movie. I remember possibly seeing a trailer once, but nothing after. I dont even recall seeing a movie poster, where were the ads? Where were the publicity? A friend once told me, when movies come out in January, they are usually trash! Well LOW AND BEHOLD, Sleepless was/is a hit! I really enjoyed this movie! Jamie Foxx was captivating!

Spoiler Alert. Spoiler Alert. Spoiler Alert.

In the beginning, I already had Vin Downs (Jamie Foxx) pegged as a crocked cop, because its hard to be on the straight and narrow while being police in Las Vegas, Lets be real. In the opening of the movie, Vin and his partner Cass (T.I) are on a high speed chase which ultimately ends with a few folks dead, and the cops taking cocaine. I just knew this movie would be about dirty cops pulling a juke (robbery) having the main character’s son held as bait, basically just like all the other movies we have seen thus far. Actually Vin turns out to be a undercover cop, who has sacrificed two years, plus his relationship with his wife and son, to bring down an organized crime family down. However we as the viewer doesnt realized how far up the ladder the corruption goes, until the very end. Because of the way, the movie ended I DO NOT want a sequel to be created unless it can be as equally good, as the first. And since Hollywood usually doesnt have success with the second as much as the first, well lets just say I’m really hoping they choose to leave us on a cliff hanger (sort of)

I just took a break from writing this to read the reviews on IMDB.COM, and they are really bad. Yikes! Granted I didn’t have any expectations for this film, and I also prejudged after the first twenty minutes, but damn! There are really some harsh critics out there. Fortunately this is MY review, and I say, you should go see this film. It recently just went to disc, so get the popcorn, candy and turn it into a movie night.

Tristan Jonez.

Aged.

There is only one you, and that is a disadvantage and an advantage in itself.

I am what I would like in return. Reread that, I am what I would like in return. Hands down, I would love to be my own friend. Someone is always telling us to take inventory of our lives, of the folks in our lives, that everyone doesn’t deserve a front seat, and etc, while I do agree with all of that, I think we need to first look at ourselves. Ask ourselves the hard questions, and answer them with honesty. We all have the ability to fool the outside world, but you can only lie to yourself for so long. Eventually you’ll lose your damn mind. This girl here doesn’t like loosing, so I’m honest with myself and others.

There is only one you, and that is an advantage and disadvantage in itself.

Trust in yourself. We continuously make bad decisions, but know that your ability to correct those mistakes make you you. Be who you are, and try not to let the sins of the World change you.

Stories.

There’s one story that I am tired of telling. I am tired of giving second chances, when, in all honesty, they didn’t deserve the first. I continue to put in the World what I would like in return. However I keep coming up short. Maybe I don’t really believe that I deserve the best, that I am worthy of having someone who supports me without saying, “Hey I’ve been supporting you.” Why not just show me? Don’t agree that I deserve more, just give more. The bare minimum doesn’t work here, especially if you agree that I deserve more.

It’s funny that men do not worry about how their actions/words will be perceived, they just do. But as a women I am careful with how I say things, as to not hurt the fragile ego of a man. Maybe it is time that I care less about your fuking egos? Don’t tell me that I am being sarcastic… put some hair on your chest and take it! Sarcasm shouldn’t be your focus when you have improvements that need to happen immediately! How can you tell a person, something is bothering you, expect them to resolve the issue when you can even check yourself? Pst!

I’ve run out of chances, and fuks to give.

Jonez.