Ask, Seek and Work

So my life is in a weird space, but it feels like a necessary space for me to be in. “They” always say right before you’re about to level up, your life resembles chaos. I don’t feel chaotic, I do feel eerily calmed. I’m going thru major changes, and real life shit but I know this is the direction I am supposed to be traveling in. How amazing is it to know, without really knowing, that you are on the correct path. There is truly a liteness (word?) I feel. Its almost as If I am not really experiencing this life, as myself, just someone who is watching this life be lived.

Your steps are guided, make whatever decisions feel correct to you, and if they scare the shit out of you, even better. I will always be here to encourage you to do WHATEVER you feel, and we can work out the rest, the bits and pieces. Put in to the Universe what you want, work towards it and the Universe will conspire to give you everything you could’ve thought you wanted. I promise! I spoke on what I wanted, spoke to myself, to the sky, I let my thoughts only think on what I wanted, and the Universe has been showing me exactly what I asked for. Sacrifices had to be made, but that happens often… You ask the Universe, and the Universe will give it but require sacrifices to see if you are really a person who’ll recognize the opportunity.

Be that person.

Whatever you are ‘losing’ will be returned in such an abundance, this I promise!

Jonez.

Chasing.

So I’m not sure if this is a pattern but its staring to feel like one.

Men who chase women down, with only the intention of wasting her time. If we are friends, and you want more, I am all for making your intentions known, but if you are ready to go there, be ready for the consequences as well. Why are you ‘awakening’ her if you have no intention beyond that action? Just leave us be!

On two separate occasions with two different men, I’ve been pursued, only to agree to a date, that they waste my damn time. I’ve long stopped listening to words that men, say and look towards their actions. If nothing is being shown, why would I stay?

Jonez

Lay Claim

I claim ownership over no one. Everyone is their own person, to live and love as they see fit. Personally I love fully in my own spirit, to do as I please, for as long as it pleases me. I do not, and cannot make anyone ‘stay’ because when Its time for me to leave, I do. I’ve always tried to be the best version of myself, see the good in folks, and live life as if it was the most precious gift I could’ve ever been given. There have been times where my significant other couldn’t not relate to me, but you would have to step outside of yourself to understand, and honestly most people wont.

I want you all to be true to the essence of you. No matter what that may look like to others. Only claim ownership over your own soul, then you’ll be able to move in ways which you haven’t before.

Tristan Jonez.

Fly Awake

The Best Seat Will forever be the window seat. I feel weightless every single time an aircraft takes off, appreciating where I’ve been and having gratitude for where I will travel to makes living life worth it. I can’t imagine who I’d be without the opportunity to visit certain countries/communities. Every time I experience a new place, a new part of myself is unlocked.

If you don’t realize, I hold travel in high regard. You’ll never reach your highest level of enlightenment without travel. No excuses, Make it happen!

Tristan Jonez!

Prize Money

I do believe we some (most) times forget that we are the prize. We are the ones to be pursued, cherished, adored! You, above all else, have to know your value. How can you show someone how you should be treated if you aren’t treating yourself as such. Folks learn from action!

I once found myself not being myself because in my mind, this is a “good guy” and I have to fit into whatever image he sees of me. I don’t want to loose this man’s interest cuz then I’m back to square one, and who wants to start all over? But I can’t settle, too many close calls to settling, that I’m not going to start that now. I’m the prize, and I have to treat myself as such. It’s no need to advertise what I bring to the “table”, as the man that’s looking for me will be able to realize my potential!

Jonez

Changes.

#TBT / #FBF

I was going through a few of my old photos from as far as ten years ago and it definitely made me smile to see how much I’ve changed over the years.

When I look at this girl, I see such a carefree, spirited person who had the World at her feet. I was still learning about myself and what I needed from myself. This Tristan, lived life as if the next day wasn’t promised.

This Tristan J is a woman who knows when to be soft, and allow someone else to take the lead, but she’s independent enough to make whatever moves are necessary for survival, she’ll be victorious. She’s still a spirited opinionated woman who won’t hesitate to let you know when you’ve fuked up but she’ll help pick you back up.
When you look at your old photos, what do you see?

Jonez baby!

Married? Eh.

For whatever reason, I’m not safe from married men. I would never ever date a married man, cuz karma would seriously hurt me. It’s not worth the problems you will have! As much as dating can be a pain, dating someone who is already committed to another just isn’t the move. I promise you! I’m honestly not sure what vibes I’m giving off to make married men even feel they are allowed to interrupt my space.

SideNote: I’m semi questioning if I want to get married, since lately married folk can’t stay out my inbox. What’s the point of dedicating your love to someone if you’re going to look into have your sexual needs fulfilled elsewhere beside your partner?

Jonez.

No Request Granted

I can be super honest and open with you all right? Without judgement? Even tho, I don’t give a shit about anyone judging me, but y’all wouldn’t.

By a show of hands, how many of us had a “friendwithbenefits”? Well I did. However I wouldn’t necessarily say we were friends. I wasn’t making plans for us to hang out outside of a bedroom, and he wasn’t calling so we could chop it up about our life goals. Our relationship was very specific, we talked enough to assess what was needed sexually. The few times we ventured into actual conversation about actual topics, things felt weird, at least for me.

So imagine my utter shock and surprise when he requested me on Facebook! Like ummmm Sir, what is you doing baby? It’s weird thinking of him going through my photos, and seeing my friends, reading my thoughts, I haven’t accepted the request and I’m not sure if I will.

Would you?

Tristan J

Showtime.

Life is funny like that.

Sometimes I really wonder if my life is a reality show to the angels. And if they’re constantly yelling plot twist! The number of weird randomness happening is at an all time high, and I’m just trying to get thru my work week without falling on my face. If tonight was the season finale for my reality show, I’m scared but slightly excited for next season’s foolery.

Jonezy

Make Me Fake It.

While I was walking down memory lane this week, I came to the realization that I can’t fake “it” anymore. It will serve as a multitude of things but whatever it is, I can’t fake it. As I get mature, I only want to be apart of friendships built on realness. I want to feel real orgasms, you can’t be rewarded if you’re not working hard to reach the goal. And I will stop aiding those who have yet to find the sweetest spot on a woman.

We ALL know life is short, and we’re ALL trying to live our best life. So we have to start cutting out the fakeness, the excess, the nonsense. Let’s get back, or learn how to stop “Faking it” for the fuck of it. I want to be as genuine as I can possibly be and I want the same for you.

Tristan Jonez

Worth the Wait? I’ll never know

While growing up in Baltimore has helped me create long lasting friendships, it’s also given me one of my most painful relationships. I met Troy* when I was 14, and my little World stopped. He was the most mysterious boy I had ever met. I promise you, I wasn’t even a factor in his day and he was my whole damn World. I was too shy to speak two words to him but I just knew it was love. As the months went by we became cordial, can’t help but to be when you see each other every day. I would constantly discuss him with my friends, but they were sick of my obsession. Unfortunately, with Baltimore being the crime capital of the world, at that time, Troy was arrested for a crime unknown to me, but I saw that as my opportunity to empower myself and reach out to him.
I couldn’t tell you how many letters I wrote but the care and love that went into each one was my therapy, I’m sure it was his as well. My feelings were solidified every time he wrote me back. I do believe our forever friendship was forged during that time. Unfortunately we would never be together in any capacity, it’s weird, cuz I love this man. Still. I’m sure it has everything to do with how he views me. To him, I’m the best of the best from Baltimore , Im his Queen, his best friend, his wife and the mother of his only son. Troy respects me in a way that no man has ever, he places me on a pedestal, that I could never live up to but I love him equally.

In Troy I see my motivator, my biggest fan, my protector from all things seen and unseen, he’s my best friend, my love, my dream, and even with all the beautiful qualities he possesses we will never be together. I’m not sure if it was ever written for us to embark on a journey together.

However, whatever the future may possibly hold, Troy, I’ve loved you from the moment I met you, and I’ll love you forever.

Tristan Jonez

*Name Has been Changed

Single Blues

As much as I’m enjoying “Single life” (Lies) I’m currently going thru Single Blues. It very much could have everything to do with the upcoming change in season which is right around the corner, either way, I’m not looking to be single anymore. However I’m not looking to jump into anything random, just for the sake of not being single. I wonder if it’s possible to forget how to be in a relationship? If it’s possible to forget how to be a party of two? What if I’m no good at being someone’s significant other? Can I admit I’m a bit nervous which I think is the reason for my Single Blues. I could just be living way too much in my head but I’m concerned.

How have you all dealt with being single while feeling like it won’t be ‘just like riding a bike.’

Jonez